Introduction - Starting to explore embryo adotion

liz4paws · August 2012

Hello ladies! I hope you don't mind if I post to introduce myself. After a recent failed IVF cycle, it is clear I won't be able to produce a child using my eggs due to DOR/POF. We discussed our options prior to attempting IVF and have always felt drawn to embryo adoption as our next step. We are still processing our failed IVF and the emotions associated with closing the door to having genetic children. But honestly I am incredibly excited (albeit overwhelmed!) to open the door to the next part of our journey to creating our family.

We are just starting to educate ourselves on both traditional and embryo adoption process and have signed up for Miracles Waiting. I am familiar with the adoption agencies that specialize in embryo adoption, but after spending so much $$ for IVF, we would like to attempt to match ourselves on MW. I am currently reading a book "You can Adopt: An Adoptive Family's Guide." The information in the book has been helpful, however it's been somewhat difficult finding books, resources, or support groups specific to embryo adoption. DH and I have been discussing the similarities and differences in embryo vs traditional adoption, but have found some conflicts between us on how we would like our relationship with the donor couple. I feel that I would want an open relationship, but DH says he doesn't want to feel like he is "sharing" our children or to feel obligated to "answer to" anyone else about our kids. I feel that the potential identity issues of a child created from embryo adoption would be similar to those from traditional adoption and it would be important to have that relationship with the donors. DH, on the other hand, views it more like egg or sperm donation that just happens to be both and doesn?t think that relationship would be necessary in that type of situation.

We are so new to this world that I don't know who is right or wrong, but I do know that we want the best for our future children. I hope you don?t mind if I join you as we start to navigate our way through this new world toward our future family! Any insight or information you may direct us to would be very welcomed. J

crene84 · August 2012

Welcome! I am pursuing both domestic infant adoption and embryo adoption. My RE has a program where you can do an embryo adoption without needing a home study, attorney, etc but the donor parents are confidential. We will be provided with some information on them, but we will not be able to have any sort of relationship with them. I hadn't thought much about that with embryo adoption (since we are currently on a waiting list and could be waiting another year or more), but that is a good point. I do want an open or semi open adoption if we do traditional adoption, so really, I would like to also have something similar with embryo adoption but I don't think that's even an option for us. I do think it's slightly less important to have this for embryo adoption, but I don't know if there is much research in this area yet..to talk about the effects on the child of an embryo adoption situation. I'm going to have to research this some more!

KarlsSweetie05 · August 2012

I've posted donor embryo resource links before. Don't know if they are still on this board or have dropped off now as pages get old.

Here are a few major link that has lots of sublinks on topic:

https://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/donor-options/using-donor-embryo.html

https://www.embryodonation.org/

https://www.nightlight.org/snowflake-embryo-adoption/

Go to the end of this board's pages and work forward. There are donor embryo questions from time to time. So look for those posts. If you can't find the older posts, let me know and I'll dig up info again.

Also a poster on here recently had a successful embryo adoption and is currently pg with twins. I haven't seen her around lately, but you could try paging her on the board. She was pretty open about sharing her journey.

Also search donor embryo on You Tube and there are 3-4-5 videos about couples' stories.

There are several routes to donor embryos... through an agency that requires a home study, an RE office, internet (Miracles Waiting / Embryos Alive), and word of mouth. Costs vary drastically with each choice. The level of openess between the donor couple and the recipient couple vary widely too from completely anonymous to very open and everything in between.

Good luck on your journey!

KarlsSweetie05 · August 2012

link to post by other lady hearts2adopt who adopted embies and is pg with twins now. The link to her blog which is listed within the post: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66566567.aspx

xx

KarlsSweetie05 · August 2012

https://www.bethany.org/main/embryo-services

also there was someone who used donor embryo program in Czech Republic. I think she posted here a few times Just tossing option out there so that you are aware you can look internationally for donor embryos also.

https://www.embryodonationblog.com/about/

https://www.embryoadoption.org/adopters/index.cfm

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