Your opinion please

LINDSYRP · August 2012

My BF has offered to throw me a shower, my due date is January 30. Since the holidays are just before my due date she thought a shower in early November would work out best for most people. One of the dates that we were looking at happens to be my 1st wedding aniversary. So my question is, is it weird to make it a family event (everyone invited, not just the women) to celebrate not only our first child but our aniversary as well? Both of our first thoughts were how fun it would be, but I just wonder what your opinion might be.

BakerMommy · August 2012

I think the men might not be thrilled to attend such a baby-centric event.

jillychris · August 2012

If you weren't having a baby, would you have had a party to celebrate your anniversary? If no, then I think it would be weird. Have your baby shower and then you and YH can still go out to celebrate your anniversary, either that night, or perhaps the next, if you don't want to do both in one day.

I have been to co-ed baby showers-usually more of a bbq type event, no games, etc, so it didn't feel much like a baby shower, so that would be okay, if you wanted to include everyone. I do know MH cringes though when I tell him he's invited to a co-ed shower (baby, wedding, etc).

pearlymerly7 · August 2012

Sounds like you have a lot of exciting stuff going on at once which is great, but I'd rather have some privacy on a first anniversary. Guess it's up to you, but you'll never get that first one back. I'm due in January also (Jan. 10) and am concerned about the holidays too. The hostess heading up the details of my shower is shooting for mid October. It's just hard to pick a good date when so much is going on; good luck though!

LINDSYRP · August 2012

Because we had an extremly small wedding with very little family (who were disapointed) we talked about having a party to celebrate with friends and family, then we found out about baby and haven't really brought it back up until looking at shower dates. I am ok with it not feeling like a shower, as I am not a 'girly-girl' and think it maybe fun to be co-ed so that our male friends would be invited as well as their girlfriends and wives. His friends were among the many dissapointed they weren't about able to celebrate our wedding along with us.

pamiva1 · August 2012

I would skip the anniversary celebration regardless of the day, but think that a co-ed shower can be lots of fun depending on the group you're inviting. With my DDs shower, we had a co-ed one and it was a blast... but everyone there had just recently graduated from the same college so it was more of a get together for the guys than a baby shower. If many of the men don't hang out in the same social circles, I would not think they would enjoy it.

dufferoo · August 2012

I kinda do think it's weird to join those 2 events, but I'm not usually a fan of slashies in general. I bet a lot of guests would end up feeling like they had to get you anniversary gifts too, and then that gets awkward. I read your reply about a lot of your friends being bummed out they missed your wedding but I just don't think a first-anniversary/baby shower would be the same.

One other thought, why not just have the shower in early December? I don't think of all the Christmas parties and such getting going that early, and your closest friends should be excited enough to celebrate your baby to not really mind.

cwm11985 · August 2012

I think its very weird/AW. How many first anniversary parties have you been to? Yeah, exactly...

Its fine to have it that day but the party shouldn't acknowledge your anniversary. And I agree with pp's, people will feel obligated to get you both a baby and an anniversary/belated wedding gift...not ok.

setower05 · August 2012

If there is a way to somehow get it across to the guests that they don't also have to bring you an anniversary gift, I guess it could be done. But that was my first thought. That as a guest, would I need to get you two different gifts? I also agree that for my first anniversary, I would tend to want a celebration with just my DH. Ours in is Oct., too, and we are going away for that weekend (not that everyone else has to do that!). I think it's fine to have the shower on the same day as your anniversary, but not necessarily have a party to acknowledge both things. The shower should just be a shower.

sesigs · August 2012

Personally, the only anniversary parties I have ever attended are ones that are big like 25th, 50th, etc. I would think it is odd to celebrate a 1st anniversary with a group party. Even if the dates coincide I would just celebrate the baby with a shower which can be co-ed if you'd like and then just celebrate with your husband alone like doing a dinner or something on a different day.

LINDSYRP · August 2012

Thank you for your input, greatly appreciated!

BallSox · August 2012

I would keep them separate if only to make people not feel like they had to bring two presents. If I was going to an anniversary/baby shower, I'd feel like I had to bring gifts to acknowledge both. If I'm super close to you (family, etc) this might not be an issue, but if it's a more casual acquaintance, it'd be awkward.

I'd do the shower and then a separate private dinner or small family dinner for the anniversary at different time.

LaineyPaney · August 2012

I think it would be fun & wonderful.

The_Jen626 · August 2012

We bought our first house right before our 1st anniversary, and threw a Housewarming party that just happened to be the same weekend as our 1st anniversary. We had about 40-50 people (90% of them had been at our wedding) and just sent out a quick evite, we provided all the food and barbecued, etc. Only about 5 people brought gifts, I know we got 2-3 flower baskets and 2-3 gift cards to Home Depot. To be honest, we didn't mention it was our anniversary until the night of, and I made a little speech (and cried) thanking everyone for their support over the last year. It was a great party and although I didn't pan it for that weekend specifically, it worked out really nicely, and it was fun to celebrate with our close friends and family.

That being said, we also had a co-ed baby shower for baby #1...DH's guy friend's wives hosted it, the guys played beer pong, there was pizza and nachos and a keg. Not your typical baby shower, but all of his friends knew about our infertility struggle and wanted to throw him a party to celebrate, it was great fun!

rhubarb123 · August 2012

Pick another week-end for the shower (either the week-end before your anniversary or the week-end after). People not invited to the wedding will get over it (I'm sure they already have). Even if I were told not to bring an anniversary gift I would feel obligated to do so if I was told it was an anniversary party/baby shower.

Also, I have never been invited to a 1st anniversary party. Sounds kind of gift grabby...even if you don't mean it to be. I've gone to 25th, 50th and 75th though. Enjoy your anniversary by yourselves...it is more "sentimental" and obviously more intimate whether you go away, go out or stay home.

eav2c · August 2012

Keep them separate.

Cranang · August 2012

If that's the only weekend you can do the shower, then I'd just do a shower. Don't mention to anyone beforehand that it's your anniversary. I know you say that people were disappointed that they didn't get to celebrate your wedding with you, but I guarantee they're not still lamenting it a year later.

Sherbet Lemon · August 2012

Just do the baby shower, not an anniversary party as well. The only anniversary parties I've been to were for 50th anniversaries. A 1st anniversary party would be weird to me.

bklynbmp · August 2012

I would keep them seperate. If you want to have a 1st anniversary party, then by all means do so but its a totally different affair than a baby shower. Especially if your BF is hosting, it would be a bit much to ask her to do somthing so large.

honeybee72 · August 2012

Cranang:
If that's the only weekend you can do the shower, then I'd just do a shower. Don't mention to anyone beforehand that it's your anniversary. I know you say that people were disappointed that they didn't get to celebrate your wedding with you, but I guarantee they're not still lamenting it a year later.

Pretty much this. I think if you haven't had your "wedding" celebration after a year, although I can understand why, it's a bit late to do so.

mollybloom · August 2012

My baby shower was on the 1 year anniversary of our wedding. It was not mentioned on the invite or at the shower. DH and I were not planning on having a party for our anniversary.

We had the shower on a Saturday and went out to dinner, just the two of us, the nexy day.

Keep 'em seperated.

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