question about "when you tell work"

CloudBee · August 2012

When you eventually tell work, do you need to know by that point if you plan on returning to work after the baby is born? Or do they know that you need a decent amount of time to figure that out? I'm dressing differently to hide my waist, and expect people will catch on in the coming weeks. That's my main reason for telling work around 12. I don't think I will be able to hide it come 12 weeks. But at that point I may still be on the fence about what I'm doing post-baby.

For those who have told their employers already - have they begun to grill you about whether or not you are returning?

lynn3yb00 · August 2012

I think it mostly depends on company policy. Our neighbor is due in 4 weeks and her boss didn't need her plan until last month (so 8 weeks before she was due). My company said they want to know around the first of the year (so about 12 weeks before I'm due).

Sparkles01 · August 2012

I haven't told my office yet, but I do think you should have an answer for whether or not you're returning at all.

I plan on telling my office that I will be taking my 3 months maternity and returning after that.

Country Girl in the City · August 2012

They assumed that I was coming back. They also made the assumption that I would be out for 12 weeks. There was never really a question that I would not come back. However, I could see in other careers that it could be questioned. I would be ready with a response.

BarefootContess · August 2012

I think you will still be able to keep it under wraps at 12 weeks. I am almost 12 weeks now and this is my fifth baby and still I can wear stuff that hides my waist. I never feel an obligation to tell until much later since it did not affect my job. I decided to leave, however. I told them after my anatomy scan at 23 weeks.

happy_un-bride · August 2012

Where I work we don't technically have to tell until a few weeks before we plan on starting mat. leave. I plan to tell my boss (the VP) Thursday; since he's aware of health issues I'm having (tho not the cause) and he's heading on vacation for 3+ weeks (and in case it comes out while he's away, I want him to hear it from me).

I live in Canada, our maternity is 1 year long. I plan to take my full year off. However, since they may want me back a month or 2 early due to busy season, I'm willing to entertain offers (i.e. if they want to promote or give me additional perks to come back early). I have no problem making this clear with my employer.

horsevaulter · August 2012

Wow, I wish I lived in Cananda!

My employer knows Im PG and I have not told them whether or not I am coming back and they have not pushed the issue either. According to our policies, I do not have to tell them until I am actually on maternity leave if I am coming back or not. Ofcourse I will tell them before that though so they can hire someone else if need be.

eredee · August 2012

I told my boss after my first doctors appointment just because this office is so great about having babies, and weddings and other family happenings. My director did mention once about me coming back saying, "I hope you come back!" And I said that of course I would (I really love my job). BUT, I think all companies kind of realize that the descisions that we think we are going to make, may change after the baby comes out. Just like with anything...things change. If you are still on the fence about going back to work, I don't think you need to tell anyone. After you have the baby you may NEVER want to leave him/her, but then after the first 8 weeks you may want to go back to work ASAP (for a break). My philosophy is, you will know when the time comes what is right for you, and a job is just that, a job. I wouldn't worry about making anyone mad because because I think they all know minds change (esp those of a pregnant woman/new mommy). :-)

avy930 · August 2012

I think it is fine to let them know that you are still making those decisions and don't yet have an answer. If you do know ahead of time, I would let them know with enough time that they can plan for it. I'm a SAHM now but the job I had when I got pregnant with my DD liked being able to hire a replacement before someone left (if they weren't planning to return) so that the person leaving could train their own replacement.

I was paid for the first 8 weeks of my maternity leave through accrued sick time. I had to use those 8 weeks before I could give my resignation otherwise I would not have gotten paid for them (the company paid out for vacation time only but any sick time you had saved when you resigned was lost). I felt bad leaving them at the last minute after people had been covering for me for those 8 weeks but I was not willing to lose out on 8 weeks of pay that I had earned/saved.

SQuaid · August 2012

I am going to wiat until I am into my second trimester but they don't ask anything about when you are leaving until about a month before you are due. Then you just submit in writing when you are returning two weeks prior to coming back.

SamanthaKate85 · August 2012

I told my work on Thursday, right before I hit 11 weeks. There are only 3 other people in my department and they are considering adding a part time employee or full time employee. I knew that my request to go part time would make them want to go with hiring the full time employee so I spoke up.

With my field it typically takes 2-3 months to find someone, 1-2 months for licensing, and then we would have training time together for 1-2 months. It seems like it will all work out really well, and I am sure that I want to aim for part time. I still have some flexibility on the number of days a week and all of that. They were very appreciative that I spoke up and let them know what my plans were.

I do work for a very family friendly company though, if they were not I might have waited.

00jennifer00 · August 2012

I haven't worked since I was pg with #1, but when I told my boss, I told them I was most likely not coming back. That didn't register apparently because when I stopped working before the birth, they asked when I was coming back. lol I just reminded them that I wasn't. It was a "professional" job, so I was easy to replace.

MSW_721 · August 2012

For my first pregnancy, I gave a broad outline of my plan for when I returned. I told them I'd take as much time off as my short term disability/PTO allowed and I would return part-time after that. I had to submit something in writing about returning part-time. The original plan was that I'd go full-time after the first year, but I'm still part-time. My boss was always on top of me with what my plans were. I was as honest as I could be anytime she'd ask, but of course things change. As soon as I knew what my new plans were going to be, I'd let her know. I think that's all you can really do. Just keep them up to date on what you're thinking and see if they're willing to work with you on it. I know I'm fortunate to have a very flexible position though where I create my own schedule so this might not always be possible.

Lisa1183 · August 2012

Unfortunately I had to out myself to my boss today:( I have an appt on Sept 5th and he's not a big fan of us leaving early (I'm a teacher) It's for my 3 month scan to test for Downs and I have to be there at a certain time and they won't take appt's past 3:30. I tried lying and saying it was a medical test but he seemed worried so I just told him because I felt bad lying. I hope I didn't make a HUGE mistake lol

guilletskichuk · August 2012

I'm really unsure about what I plan to do after baby is born so I feel like I'm in the same boat. I actually told my Vice Principal today as I ran into him and his wife (another teacher) earlier today. I'm friends with them and was ready to tell them. I'm not telling my Principal until my first day or two back at work at the end of August (I'll almost be 12 weeks then). I'm also in Canada and will get a year for maternity leave. However, I make a much better salary than my DH so we're tossing around the idea of him taking paternity leave for a while. I will have to let my admin. know my plans sooner than later as they will have to fill my position for however long I plan to leave. Finding teachers, especially mid-year, is not easy in our town so they will likely need to advertise ASAP.

GrangerWifey · August 2012

I have my OB appointment Friday (I'm not sure if it is the NT scan or not) and if everything looks okay, I plan on telling work Monday. I'll be 12 weeks exactly so almost done with 1st tri.

I'm not so worried about telling them my plans yet since HR told me we just have to decide within 30 days of taking leave. However, I'm not sure what to say to my boss. Do I just go in his office and say "Hey by the way, I'm pregnant. Great chat!" It just seems weird to me I guess.

I'm pretty convinced I'm not coming back but I can potentially lose all my accrued benefit time if I tell them that prior to going on leave. I plan on telling them I'm taking a 12 week FMLA leave, using up all my sick/vacation/personal time and then giving my 2 weeks notice. I hate to do it this way but I don't make enough to come back and I have to do what's best for me and my family. Plus, they've screwed me over plenty in the 2.5 years I've been here.