Would you hire a friend as a nanny?

aquariogirl · August 2012

I don't know if this is a good idea. On one hand, I feel comfortable leaving my baby w her to run errands. It'll only be for maybe once or twice a week. It is hard to find someone to trust.

On the other hand I've always separated business and friends. It becomes tricky when you are friends with a person and have to deal with payment, give orders, and if something goes wrong, having to address it knowing that constructive criticism is not always taken well.

Normally if i hire a nanny and things don't work out I could just let her go and that would be the end. But if I do that to a friend that means losing a frien

Has anyone hired a friend as a nanny? How did it go?

meglew · August 2012

I have been on the other side of this and was a nanny for a friend. I watched her son for 40 hrs/wk for about 8 months. For us, it worked well. We were both open with each other and didn't really have any issues. I was the one to break off the arrangement in the end, but we remained friends.

Did your friend offer to watch your LO? I think I would just be very upfront about payment structure and perhaps even have a trial period that is agreed on by both parties so that if it is not working out on either side, you can agree to terminate the agreement. Also be up front about not wanting it to affect you friendship and keep the lines of communication open. Good luck!

chelseymat · August 2012

I've never been in the situation directly but have 2 friends with that arrangement. Don't do it. It has ruined their friendship. They parent differently, there were payment issues and they both bitched at me about each other before finally ending the nanny relationship. I don't think their friendship will be the same ever.

aquariogirl · August 2012

Yes, she offered to babysit. She is really sweet. I've met her 2 yrs ago and we became good friends. I was just a bit concerned about having a weird situation arise and lose a good friend.

Ive seen this happen at work between employee boss relationship when they were friends until time to address ie arriving late etc.

Demedoll · August 2012

If it is a friendship you do not want to be without I do not think it is worth the risk.

HarrietNJMommy · August 2012

No, I would not. I wouldn't want to take the risk of something going awry.

Notwifezilla7 · August 2012

Short of a few hours here or there, no I would not hire a friend (or family member for that matter) to nanny. Too many issues imho, and not worth the potential aggravation.

notkateanymore · August 2012

Nope, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't hire a friend to do any job for me, it's just weird to me.

joyfullyfound · August 2012

I worked part time as a nanny for a good friend while I was going through school. It worked really well for us, but I think it has a lot to do with the two people`s personalities.

My friend was very organized and straight forward from the beginning. She let me know exactly what she wanted right from the beginning, and had detailed lists and instructions for me every day. I`m not the kind of person who would take offense at that - I really appreciated her letting me know what her expectations were so that I could meet them. If something bothered her about how I was caring for her kids, she wasn`t afraid (at all, haha) to let me know about it, and I was able to take it in stride. She`s a pretty controlling person, and I knew that going into it.... ::shrug::

Our friendship has since ended, but it wasn`t due to me being her nanny. I actually really enjoyed it! And some nights after she got home, we`d put the kids to bed and watch movies or whatever... I have really fond memories of being her nanny, and no regrets. But, like I said, every case is different. If you have trouble being assertive, while your friend is more controlling, then you`ll probably run into some issues.

melissa0726 · August 2012

I would not. A friend of a friend, or a remote acquaintance? Maybe. But not one of my own friends.

My family has its own business and my parents have hired a couple non-family members who are close friends. Is it great knowing their personalities and strengths and weaknesses and having a trust already established? Yes, of course. But when you get to the hard stuff like performance issues, reliability, not meeting expectations - it's the worst. Feelings get hurt so much easier with these conversations than they would if it was strictly an employee/employer relationship. It is much harder to separate friendship and business than most people think.

jw87 · August 2012

We have some family members who had arrangements like that, and it didn't work for them. They complained to me about it before they both decided to call it quits. They always had a strange relationship though.

That being said, my Dad owns his own business and employees family and I know it's rare but it works for him (I even worked for him in the past). My Dad is also very by the book and straight forward too, so it helps I think.

I think it really depends on your personality and your friends.

ShellShockedMama · August 2012

no, I wouldn't unless you don't mind the huge potential for it to back fire and lose a friend and leave you with no child care. I see posts on lots of different boards where people go into relationships like this with good intentions and it just doesn't work.

besides, if I want a "nanny" in the true sense of the word, I want someone with experience and education in child development/education. if your friend doesnt have either than I call that a babysitter.id rather pay a true nanny and keep my friend out of the daily chore of helping me raise my child.

FormerlyKrista555 · August 2012

Nanny: no.

Babysitting for a couple hours here and there while you run errands: yes.

Nannying is way more involved. You're talking about consistent disciplining, routines, patterns, etc. Way more room for disagreements.

ryry1977 · August 2012

I watch my friends 3 year old (4 in Dec) since she started back to work after he was born. It has worked out pretty great for us.

MrsBalletStar05 · August 2012

It depends on the friendship. I babysat for a friend regularly. I remember asking for advice here on how much to ask for pay and EVERYONE screamed at me to not do it, I'd ruin my friendship, ect. I never asked if it'd be ok, just what to charge, and got all kinds of unsolicited advice. We're still best friends and this was years ago. Stupid bump :-P We're just both pretty easy going and fair people.

Also, I have a friend (we're not terribly close) watching my boys a couple evenings a week. It works for us because I've known her since she was young and was her dance teacher. So I've always been the older one, and have been in a position of authority over her before, so the dynamic wasn't really messed with there.

jacksjerseygirl · August 2012

To babysit once or twice a week for a few hours = I'm ok with it.

To professionally nanny for me (which would imply the full week 40ish hours) = probably not.

The difference being - your expectations are lower witha few hours of babysitting. You wouldn't expect her to really clean up after baby or probably prepare a ton of meals. You wouldnt expect her to do all the things you do with lO in terms of development.

With a nanny they become the 3rd parent. The child spends their most waking hours with that person therefore the lessons and values they pass to your child are important. They will be directly involved in teaching your child.

If a persons my friend then I don't expect there to be an issue with her playing with my child for a few hours but if it turned to prof nanny then there is a greater chance of conflict - and I wouldn't want that in my relationship with her

Want a personalized experience?

Would you hire a friend as a nanny?

Re: Would you hire a friend as a nanny?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards