Your opinion on birthing plans?

BabyCarryingVessel · August 2012

First time MoM here! For those of you who had birthing plans, did the doctors and nurses actually look at it and understand all your wishes? I wrote up a short plan of some things that were important to me, but I'm wondering if anybody will actually read it, or should I just make it clear when that time comes? My sister had this really wonderful, typed birthing plan and I think it pretty well went out the window when she delivered.

Is there anything not on the standard birthing plan that was important to you? For instance, my SIL had a c/s, and she didn't want other family members besides her H to hold her baby before she could. I think that's a good one.

mysteriousmommy · August 2012

I think it's important to have a birthing plan if for no other reason than it helps you educate yourself, and when talked over with your partner or spouse it prepares them to advocate for you in the event it is needed.

My birth plan went really well. I felt it was received well by the staff at my hospital and they were very supportive of my wishes. A few things didn't go as I wanted them to, but when those situations arose I already knew what option I wanted in lieu of my preferred option because I had done a lot of research in the process of putting together my plan.

tarajayne · August 2012

I think they usually go out the window. It's a personal preference whether it's important to you to have one though. I did the same thing about not letting anyone else but DH hold them until I did...but that was pretty easy, I just told the nurses I didn't want my parents back until I held them.

If BF is in your plan, I would try to include being able to do that right away as long as the babies and you don't need medical attention.

bearfootz · August 2012

I think it's a good idea to let your dr. know what you'd like to happen. But I also think it's important to remember that sometimes it's up to the babies. I dreamt of a vaginal delivery and instead went into preterm labor with two sideways babies that meant I needed a c-section. That doesn't mean your birth plan won't happen, I just suggest being ready so that you're not dissappointed if something doesn't work out the way you want.

My new dr. told me as far as birthing plans that she's willing to do it my way - but if there's a problem with the baby then we do it her way. And as long as we trust each other, it will work just fine.

I do agree with your SIL's idea though.

E&RMommy · August 2012

Look at it this way. It's not your wedding. You cannot dictate when your bridesmaids walk down the aisle. Instead, it's impotant to be educated about the process and d/w your care provider how the normal process may differ with twins.

To actually type out a birthing plan especially with multiples is a waste of effort and energy IMO. There are far, far too many variables. You should rather focus your energy on understanding what may happen and go with the flow.

Even as a doctor on my OWN unit, there were so many things I could not control. I wasn't even allowed in the nursery with my babies the first night when their temps dropped. So you really just have to be flexible and informed about what to expect.

leapgirl8 · August 2012

At our first MFM appointment we filled out a birth preferences form (pain management, breastfeeding plans, etc.) on the computer, and it was added to our file and made accessible to every doctor, nurse and lactation consultant involved with our care at the hospital. This was hospital policy and they definitely respected and followed our wishes. It was a very patient- and baby-friendly hospital.

We also wrote an additional one that included specifics about how we wanted things handled if one or both babies passed away at the hospital and gave that to our MFM to share with the hospital staff. (I'm sure some people find this offensive or morbid or seems like "jinxing" ourselves. It was important to us for personal reasons, and comforted us to know ahead of time that should the worst come to pass, we would not have to make or communicate decisions on the spot.)

MuseumMaven · August 2012

There are birth plans and then there are birth plans. I think it's a good idea to educate yourself and have some idea of what you would ideally like to have happen. For example, I knew that I wanted a vaginal delivery, epidural, to breast feed immediately, and to hold my babies as soon as they were born. But I was flexible on EVERYTHING. If my doctor had said that a c-section was needed for my health or the babies' health, I wouldn't have argued for a minute. Know what you want in an ideal situation, but be willing to change if the situation does.

A plan that dictates you give birth in a dimly lit room while Enya plays and you smell lavender aromatherapy candles? Probably not going to happen with a twin delivery.

ougrad1 · August 2012

My OBGYN always took a lot of time talking with me and she exactly what I wanted and did what she could to make that happen. I didn't write a BP.

bethCT · August 2012

My logic is that the doctors and nurses are the experts, so I just let them do their job. I saw a birthnplan once that said "no episotomy" and she was adament. I had no choice, with my 3 year old, it was cut me and get her out fast. It saddens me that sge might have refused to let them do a procedure that may have saved my daughters life. I like the idea of discussing preferences with doctors, but letting them run the show.

rachelle2824 · August 2012

I would say to write one just to discuss important factors with your husband/partner and get them straight in your own head...sort of like processing it all just in case. And then if your husband wants a copy to keep with him, let him have one. Beyond that I think it's far more effective to have discussions with your doctor about it and then once you arrive at the hospital, let your nurse know your wishes. If they aren't listening, find someone who will. I think pieces of paper just don't mean as much as someone in person saying "this is what I need and this is what I expect for my baby and I."

I wrote one for my Bradley birthing class and never used it but it did help a lot to have talked everything out with my husband and my doctor ahead of time. In the end I did have an amazing team present at my natural, vaginal delivery of my twins. Good luck mama!

macchiatto · August 2012

mysteriousmommy:
I think it's important to have a birthing plan if for no other reason than it helps you educate yourself, and when talked over with your partner or spouse it prepares them to advocate for you in the event it is needed.
My birth plan went really well. I felt it was received well by the staff at my hospital and they were very supportive of my wishes. A few things didn't go as I wanted them to, but when those situations arose I already knew what option I wanted in lieu of my preferred option because I had done a lot of research in the process of putting together my plan.

Ditto almost all of this.
I talked through my birthing plan with my OB at my 31w visit to find out what he thought was reasonable/realistic. He was cool with almost all of it and the one point he said wouldn't work was NBD to change. It was also helpful to talk through with DH so we were on the same page regarding preferences.

Once I arrived at the hospital for my induction, I gave the birth plan to the nurse on duty and after that, pretty much everyone found, read, and followed my birth plan without me having to say anything. They were used to birth plans at my hospital and I appreciated that they were very respectful of us and our preferences and our role as parents--while we of course also respected their knowledge and expertise; made for a good team.

I find people who are anti-birth plan don't always seem to know what a birth plan actually is or perhaps have only seen bad examples; mine and all the ones I've read from my friends all expressed preferences (not some kind of naive script of "This is exactly how my birth will proceed" ) and included eventualities like "If I have a C-section then..." "If the babies and I are doing well then ..." etc. rather than assuming things are going to go a certain way. It includes things like if you're hoping to BF, if you want your son(s) circ'ed or not, etc.

I realize that we were very lucky to make it to full-term and lucky that many of our preferences did play out. I realize there are no guarantees and that twins are, of course, high-risk. I think not having a birth plan is fine but I think having one is fine, too, as long as you are realistic and flexible.

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