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Today started out okay and then belly flopped big time

dhreczuckdhreczuck member
in TTC after 35

This weekend was my planned visit to my sister in leiu of going to her baby shower next weekend. I held it together fairly well, my sister always ends up inviting her inlaws to our family gatherings and that gets annoying because I don't know them well and of course all her MIL wanted to do was talk to my mother about the baby on the way. Then they proceeded to discuss the shower that I'm not going to, totally ackward.

I was fine until my mother started talking about my sisters baby names and going on and on about them and then everyone else started talking about their kids names and I was just left thinking, well I have a son named Liam because DH and I loved that name but he's not here and I can't talk about him because then everyone will be uncomfortable. That's about when I had to excuse myself, and hide in the bathroom for the next 15 minutes until everyone left.  And then I called DH and made him start sobbing, it wasn't good. I know someday I'll be better, I just wish that day would be here like tomorrow ..

nate and teddy
Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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Re: Today started out okay and then belly flopped big time

  • Lenox1975Lenox1975 member
    oh sweetie, i am so sorry.  that sounds so hard and i'm sorry you had to experience that. 
    Me: 37 DH: 37 TTC since Jan 2012. RE consult and initial testing done in Aug 2012: SA fine, AMH 1.1 & HSG clear - on way to IUI but got BFP on 9/10/2012. m/c 10/3/2012 at 6w5d. BFP next cycle which was a c/p. IUI #1: Clomid 100mg 12/6= BFN. IUI#2 (unmedicated) Jan 2013 = BFN. Hysteroscopy 1/25/13. IUI#3 Clomid 100mg 2/23 = BFN IUI# 4: BFN. IVF #1 April 2013, BFP!  EDD 1/12/14 with Boy!
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  • danieleandwaynedanieleandwayne member

    I thought the whole point of going to see your sister before the shower was to avoid all this?!? I'm very angry with your sister for inviting the ILs and your mother-- of COURSE they'll talk about the new baby on the way! (Although boo to your mom-- she should have known better, too!)

    Now that I'm done being angry at your family, though, I'm sending you mucho ((hugs)) because that just dang sucks arse and it breaks my heart. I think Liam is a lovely name and you can talk about him any time with me/us! ((hugs hugs hugs))

    I also am going to send out props to your DH for crying with you on the phone. Not that I'm happy that he was also upset, but I think it's great that you're not in this alone-- he's just as emotionally invested and is sharing your pain to make it a little easier to bear. 

    I hope your weekend gets better...

    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a2798" style="font-size:smaller;" >
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  • LlamamamaLlamamama member
    imagedanieleandwayne:

    I thought the whole point of going to see your sister before the shower was to avoid all this?!? I'm very angry with your sister for inviting the ILs and your mother-- of COURSE they'll talk about the new baby on the way! (Although boo to your mom-- she should have known better, too!)

    Now that I'm done being angry at your family, though, I'm sending you mucho ((hugs)) because that just dang sucks arse and it breaks my heart. I think Liam is a lovely name and you can talk about him any time with me/us! ((hugs hugs hugs))

    I also am going to send out props to your DH for crying with you on the phone. Not that I'm happy that he was also upset, but I think it's great that you're not in this alone-- he's just as emotionally invested and is sharing your pain to make it a little easier to bear. 

    I hope your weekend gets better...

    THIS!  Hugs to you..
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
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  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    imagedanieleandwayne:

    I thought the whole point of going to see your sister before the shower was to avoid all this?!? I'm very angry with your sister for inviting the ILs and your mother-- of COURSE they'll talk about the new baby on the way! (Although boo to your mom-- she should have known better, too!)

    Now that I'm done being angry at your family, though, I'm sending you mucho ((hugs)) because that just dang sucks arse and it breaks my heart. I think Liam is a lovely name and you can talk about him any time with me/us! ((hugs hugs hugs))

    I also am going to send out props to your DH for crying with you on the phone. Not that I'm happy that he was also upset, but I think it's great that you're not in this alone-- he's just as emotionally invested and is sharing your pain to make it a little easier to bear. 

    I hope your weekend gets better...

    Ditto-Huge hugs!

    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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  • irishgirl0525irishgirl0525 member

    I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all of this, especially when you were specifically trying to avoid this situation.

    Does your sister have any idea how all of this is affecting you? I mean, granted, people have to go on with their lives despite all of our TTC issues, but this seems to have been a really bad situation despite your best efforts to avoid it. 

    Do they have any idea that you ended up crying in the bathroom, or that this has happened before?  Is your mom just (and I say this in the kindest way possible) completely insensitive? 


    TTC since 3/2010. Me 41, DH-49. After 3 years, 6 IUIs and several IVFs we have finally have our beautiful baby girl, born on 11/7/13.



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  • dhreczuckdhreczuck member
    imagedanieleandwayne:

    Now that I'm done being angry at your family, though, I'm sending you mucho ((hugs)) because that just dang sucks arse and it breaks my heart. I think Liam is a lovely name and you can talk about him any time with me/us! ((hugs hugs hugs))

     

    That's incrediby sweet of you and now I'm crying again. Dammit..

    I have no idea where their heads are at, I did notice my other sister was trying to keep me occupied with conversation while all the baby chatter was going on. So she does get it, but she's not inside my head so she can't cover all the bases.

    My pregnant sister is notorious for avoiding any and all difficult conversations. I was hoping she would come and check on me  last night or something, but nope. I will hopefully have the opportunity to bring it up today before I leave, but I was planning on making as quick an exit as possible.. 

    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • annaliselannalisel member
    I'm sorry your thoughtfully planned weekend turned out like this. You are very kind to consider other people's feelings to your own detriment. May your tomorrow come soon ...
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  • Mayzie15Mayzie15 member
    So sorry this happened and ruined your weekend.

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • BeckyP005BeckyP005 member
    I am sorry you have to be dealing with this. That must of been so hard. I don't understand why your mom and MIL were there. Wasn't this for just you and your sister? I hope the rest of the day got a bit better. Big hugs.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • AbeilleAbeille member
    I'm sorry the weekend was so rough.  I know you were trying to avoid that ((hugs))
    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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  • HeatherIconHeatherIcon member
    Oh, that just stinks. Sensitivity is so underrated sometimes, I admire you for going there and making an effort to spend time with your sister. I know the feelings you are having and they are incredibly hard to deal with. I hope you begin to feel better and maybe do something fun for yourself next weekend, so you won't feel left out, if you wish.
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