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Tantrums and contradicting self?

NJLHNJLH member
in Pre-School and Daycare

Do other 3 year olds do this? I'm tired of thinking nothing my DD does is normal! Lately, one of my girls has been having awful screaming fits. I'm not even sure what provokes them. During these fits, she contradicts herself nonstop. For example, during a fit the other day, she started screaming she wanted a drink. I brought her 1. She threw the cup and screamed she didnt want it. I put it in the kitchen, just to hear her screaming for her drink. She'll scream to put her in her room (I tell her to go in and calm down). Once she's in, she screams and pounds the door to come out, just to scream to go in again. She's driving me nuts. I try to stay calm and not give in but its hard to deal with, especially when she's freaking out her sister. Is this just the terrible 3s? Thanks!

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Re: Tantrums and contradicting self?

  • RnMom2BeRnMom2Be
    Normal (annoying and exhausting for you) but normal.
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  • RidgebackmomRidgebackmom member
    Sounds familiar. Have her come in and ask for a drink/snack, nicely or she doesn't get it. Maybe even ask her to help. Mine begs to help. But at the same time I have to use the "correct" cup.
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  • KatFCoKatFCo member

    imageRidgebackMom:
    But at the same time I have to use the "correct" cup.

    Children at this age rely on predictability; when something they expect to happen doesn't, or the situation changes, their brains struggle to adjust. Add that to a sometimes inability to fully communicate, and tantrums ensue. This too will pass.

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  • KatFCoKatFCo member

    imageRidgebackMom:
    But at the same time I have to use the "correct" cup.

    Children at this age rely on predictability; when something they expect to happen doesn't, or the situation changes, their brains struggle to adjust. Add that to a sometimes inability to fully communicate, and tantrums ensue. This too will pass.

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  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member

    illogical preschooler?  Check!

    DD does this sometime.  She wants one thing, when it doesn't happen, she gets upset and then is all confused trying to figure out WTH she wants and she makes no sense.  I try a few different things - #1 if she starts to freak out about something stupid, but not a big deal - i.e. wrong cup, she wanted to get the spoon from the drawer, etc. I let her do it and tell her to let me know next time; #2 if she keeps going back and forth about what she wants and getting more and more agitated, I'll  walk away and tell her to calm down and let me know when she's ready to talk to me.  Then she cries about whatever for a few minutes and calms herself down.  When she's calmer, but still upset, I'll check on her and give her a hug, acknowledge whatever she's feeling, ask her take a deep a breath/count to 3 and then tell me what's wrong.

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  • RaeAntRaeAnt member
    Heck DS hasn't even hit 3 yet and he does that several times a day. Nap time seems to be a favorite time to have the tantrum. That's when he has a toy that I say has to go on his dresser or nightstand and not in his bed. I put it where ever I've said and he throws a fit. he wants it on a certain pillow; fine. I give it to him to put on his pillow and he flings it on the floor and then howls when I pick it up and set it back on the dresser or where ever because he NEEDS it. That's another favorite right now is NEEDING everything instead of wanting or would like. We're trying to get him to know the difference.
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