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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
CIO--how long?
So, we are now trying to let the LO CIO in the crib. She is very stubborn and cries for a very long time. How long do I let her do this before I give in? I wasn't a big fan of CIO, but other methods haven't seemed to work for us either so we're trying this. Thanks.
Krystal
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Re: CIO--how long?
I also don't do CIO but I agre with this. Don't just put her in her crib and let her cry. Be educated about it and have a plan for how you are going to do it.
This.
I did CIO when DD was 7 months, although I didn't just lay her down and walk away.
When considering how long to let them cry, start very short, with just a few minutes. Never let it go above 10 or 15 minutes.
I recommend what pps said. Make sure to be educated first. Dont try to do it without any research. I did the Sleep Easy Solution. It was so helpful. DS went from waking up 1 time a night to hourly. Nothing helped and everyone was miserable from a lack of sleep.
The first night he cried 30 minutes but then went to sleep. Every night has gotten better. Now, he's asleep in 10 min or less. Naps are so much easier too. DS is a good kid but would get fussy when tired. Now, he's almost always happy. It's amazing now that he's getting sleep. He went from maybe 7-8 hrs of interrupted sleep to now at least 11 plus two good 1.5-2 hr naps during the day.
Its not for everyone, but it was for us.
Never! And I quote...
"What does the baby actually cry out when you let him cry, and where does it go? Does the infant cry out the ability to cry? Can he just get all that crying out and be done with it? No! An infant can cry for hours and still retain the ability to cry. What the baby looses is the motivation to cry, and some other valuable things along with it. When no one responds to baby's cry, the baby has two choices: he can cry louder, harder, and produce a more disturbing signal, hoping desperately that someone will listen; or he can give up, become a "good baby" (that is, a quiet baby) and not bother anyone. Think how you would feel if you had a need and tried your best to communicate that need, but no one listened. You would be angry. You would feel powerless and unimportant, and you would believe that no one cares about you, since your needs matter little to anyone. What goes out of a baby that is left to cry is trust: trust in his ability to communicate and trust in the responsiveness of his caregivers."
This is how I feel about CIO. There's no reason to let an infant CIO. They need something, not to be left alone to cry.
Yep, Mabenner said it best...
The idea of CIO with an infant makes me so sad for the baby. Infants cry FOR A REASON. That reason may just be that they want to be held and there is nothing wrong with that. Human closeness is what helps babies to develop in every way. Being left alone to cry in a crib is cold and harmful IMO.
When my son was born I said to myself that I would give him a year before doing any sleep training. Around 8 months I discovered the book No Cry Sleep Solution and it helped a lot, there was no crying and figuring out a schedule helped throughout the entire day not just at night.
Before NCSS (which I wouldn't try until AT LEAST 6 months), I would suggest WIO.
https://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/
oh! AND THIS!!!!!
I'm pretty anti- CIO, but if you're going to do - make sure you have a video monitor or can see your kid. I've read to many posts of "i thought my kid was just crying, but when I went in, XYZ"
IMO, that's a bit too early to be sleep training. Your baby is probably crying for a reason. Don't forget that you are in a crucial spot here; your goal for the few months is to establish trust with your LO. Leaving her to her own "soothing devices" (which she doesn't yet have) will do the exact opposite of building trust.