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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Handling rude passengers on flight politely
We just had a really uncomfortable experience on a 2 hour flight where the passenger in front of my daughter turned to us and her and said, "No kicking the seat" before we had even taken off. I politely smiled, thinking he knew it "may" be a possibility. Before take off, she did move her feet a little bit.. So he kept turning around and telling her (21 mo. old) to "stop kicking the seat!" while glaring at my husband and me. She is very tall and in her carseat, her feet on our "close quarters" Southwest flight touch the seat in front. I took her shoes off to make it less of a problem, and was trying everything in my power to keep her feet restrained throughout the flight. Then, he leaned the seat back to make matter worse.
The more I held them down the more she wanted to kick and also scream! We tried toys, food, etc. Really I knew the solution, to just let her be and she'd stop! He complained the the stewardess, she spoke to us, yet gave us knew we were doing what we could. Everyone could see we were doing everything to try to stop her from moving her feet.The more attention I put on her feet, the more she wanted to fight back.
The flight to our destination a week before was fine, she moved her feet a bit, but it was a non-issue once we got in the air.
Later as we were leaving the plane, a woman turned around, glared at me and then my daughter and said, "Is this the screamer??" When I tried to just ignore out of anger, she kept repeating it... and finally my husband said something about her screaming was because we were holding her feet.
I guess my question is: Can any of you suggest polite ways to counter such comments or glares? I have a hard time not wanting to get defensive. I tried to just remain calm. We try to sit in the very back and be "first" so others our choosing to sit in front of us, per se. This situation though, the passenger was there first, a quite crowded flight not leaving us a lot of choice.
I realize others have posted something about handing out earplugs for people around, but really I think her screaming was due to the fact that I was trying to pin her legs down. This has never been an issue on other flights. Most people around us realize we as parents are doing what we can to make travels smooth as possible.
I need some good ways to respond in a calm way. Thanks for your help!
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Re: Handling rude passengers on flight politely
This. I probably would have switch seats as well since this person seems to think toddlers are little adults. As far as the person asking you the pointless question, I too would have been a smart ass back. DH only hates when I do this to another guy b/c he fears having to physically defend me hehe.
I agree with this. Except usually its my DH who does the retorts and me doing the not liking him to say things, but in this situation I don't think I would have handled things quite so well as you did. I would probably have blown up on the db in front of her and at the woman. That is so so so beyond rude of people to say/act that way. Like its their right to have a silent absolutely comfortable flight without any other passenger making a peep or causing them the slightest bit of discomfort, but it isn't your right to bring your child on a plane? I don't think I would have tried to restrain her feet though. Like you said, it was the reason she was more upset. I guess I would have tried to explain to the man in front of her that she would be much less likely to kick his seat if he'd allow her to get settled before becoming angry and that she is only a child, after all. And then if she didn't settle, I would have tried switching seats with her. If I was a passenger on that plane when this happened I'd have tried to encourage you as much as possible, if not yell at the jerk myself. Its ridiculous that no one on the plane had enough decency to do at least tell you they've been there before or something and that the stewardess had to come talk to you. Ugh! I'm sorry you had to deal with these people! I hope your next flight is a much better one.
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
I would just say, "Why yes it was. We did our best! These sorts of activities with a toddler are rough. I'm sure you understand."
Then walk away and forget about it. You know you did your best and you'll never see these people again, so no need to justify it.
If people are dumb enough to a) comment b) lack a bit of understanding they're not worth the response.
I seriously am really sorry you had to deal with people like this. There is no excuse for being rude. Clearly you are traveling with a child that is under 2. You have paid for a seat for her (which in most cases you dont have too). If she is kicking the back of the chair he should have addressed it with you and NOT your child. I would not be ok with a total stranger correcting my child. And as for the lady asking if she was the screamer, I would have said just like the PP, Yes she was, are you the A$$ hole bringing more frustration to a already uncomfortable situation?
Ugh, things like this really get under my skin. They are babies for goodness sake. I think people forget how hard it is with LO's in certain situations.....
Our World!!
Blaine Emerson Bailey Rae
3-31-14 6-10-11
People on airplanes are just horrible. I used to fly with DD#1 a ton when she was a baby. She was always a very good traveler, but once she was in a mood and cried for about the last 20 minutes of the flight. The glares that I received were so uncomfortable and really did make the situation worse. Why don't people understand that? I never did say anything to anyone because I always think of things to say after the fact. The line that I came up with was, "Oh, I am sorry - did you pay the same price that I did for my seat and for my child's seat? If you don't like it, then perhaps next time you should consider flying First Class, I've heard they have more room up there". People are so rude. I usually fly Southwest too and the staff are always accomodating and actually very helpful, at least in my experience. One time I had to fly Useless Air (US Air) and the flight was full. I was by myself with my child who was 2 at the time. Can you believe that they were going to actually make me sit in a completely different row, about five rows away, from my child? They said they asked other passengers to switch with me, but nobody would. So when I got on board, I told the attendant my situation and she told me to just sit in the seat that I was assigned and put my daughter next to me. The guy that was supposed to sit in that seat was FURIOUS. I did speak up, told him my situation and to feel free to sit next to my toddler and take care of her. He shut right up but still made a HUGE stink about it and made sure the entire plane full of passengers knew how mad he was. Such an A$$!
What an a$$hole and what a beatch. We fly a ton with DD and luckily we have never had any problems. That said, we also don't put her in the car seat. We did that once and it was such a pain to take it on board (especially the little domestic flights that we take) that it just wasn't worth it. We have a CARES harness and I would recommend using that if you fly on a regular basis. It is very easy to install and take off. They are sort of pricey but if you fly regularly it would be worth it. Plus they have a really good resale value on eBay.
Pas for the poster who had a guy get mad because he had to move.... wTH was so special about that seat that he got mad? That is just nuts. Even more ridiculous that they separated you from a 2 y/o and couldn't fix it.
We fly United and so far we haven't had any problems. We have had a few times where people had to switch with us because of the oxygen mask availability and it has never been a problem. WTH is wrong with people to get all upset about unimportant things. I can see where someone would be annoyed with have their seat kicked but to make an issue of it before it actually happens would annoy the crap out of me. I probably would be to chicken (or not creative/quick thinking) enough to come back with a smarta$$ response.
I would have just asked to move.
I am very sensitive to people touching my seat from the row behind me. But screaming kids don't really bother me that much because generally the parents are trying to keep them quiet and I feel bad when their ears hurt and they are bored, no matter how hard the parents try to play and occupy them.
DD did this on our last flight so I ended up rear facing her carseat which made a huge difference. Made it a bit hard for the person in front to lay their seat back but I'd ask the guy what he prefers- rear facing and no kicking or leaning his seat back and maybe some kicks...
Rear facing is the way to go I think and DD could kick the seat all she wanted and she was actually happier that way looking at me...
We haven't flown with LO yet, but I know when we fly just the two of us, I always try to get the front row seat by the emergency hatch. I have some clostrophobic issues and there are no seats in front of you there and more leg room. However, you do agree to the person in charge of the emergency hatch... For that reason, I'm not sure if they would allow a small child to sit there or not, but it would be a great seat for kids.
Very true. The carseat or booster seat must be against the window. We've flown U.S. Airways, United, American and Jet Blue and it's the same rule on all flights.
I have no advice. We've flown 8 time round trip in the past year and have never encountered a rude person. I've actually been impressed with how accommodating people on flights have been for DD.
Sorry you experienced this.
No advice for the situation for responding, but the couple times I've flown with LO, I've packed a dozen cookies from this amazing local bakery in my carry-on. When those passengers immediately in front/next/behind take their seats next to us, I say something along the lines of "She's pretty good but sometimes she has her moments. I'll try my best to keep her calm. But in case that doesn't work, cookie?"
I've gotten a couple of laughs and rueful smiles, and at least they know I'm aware of the situation.
You can sit in the bulkhead seat with a LO - which is the best!! You cannot sit in an emergency row though with a LO.
Besides fucck off lol jk but I eom want to....
I would have smiled and said yes and we were all her age once!
We fly transatlantic, so our flights are very long. The good news is that on those flights, they have bassinets for kids under 2, so we get bulkhead seats and a bassinet for DD. In a few weeks we'll be flying again with one domestic leg and a transatlantic one. We went ahead and shelled out the extra $ for United economy plus seats for the domestic leg because DD is really antsy and we'll need the extra space.
I'm always afraid someone is going to say something because she's not particularly well behaved when she's restrained, but so far so good. I've gotten some looks when she's screaming for the whole take-off, but no one has said anything. I'm prepared, though. My line is going to be: "Well, we tried getting a rowboat over the Atlantic, but they were all booked out until March." Because really, what other option do we have?
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I don't know if anyone else suggested this because I didn't read all of the replies but we have had the same issue with my DS. He is very tall and can easily reach the seat in front of him. He usually doesn't keep kicking the seat on purpose but he's squirmy (as most kids) and moves a lot and will kick the seat. What we do is we split up. One of us will sit with my DS and the other one will sit in the seat directly in front of my DS. Yes it sucks that we aren't all sitting together but it's much better than having to worry about keeping DS from p!ssing off the person who sits in front of him. Plus as you said, the moment you try and keep them from doing something the worse it's going to get. This way you don't have to worry about it because, it's your child and they will be kicking you (or DH).
Southwest lets families board after Group A (unless your in group A - then you board first) so finding this seating arrangement shouldn't be a problem.
I install DS rear facing which is great, but once he outgrows our travel seat and we are taking th Radian he will have to ff on the plane. I will only carry my seats on bc I don't consider it safe to check them, even planeside. I paid for a seat and I have a right to use it, the person in front of me be d@mned. My issue is usually that the seat can't be reclined and I always warn the person in front of me. They are generally nice, but we had one jerk on an 8 hour flight. As for the screaming, I've gotten glares before bc DS cries bc he is being restrained. If the fasten seatbelt sign is off, I'll let him get out, but if not, he stays in. I don't care if people glare at me. I have every right to keep him safely restrained in his seat. Their ears are far less important to me than my child's life.