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January 2012 Moms
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Oh mom... you just know what to say...

bigbearbigbear
in January 2012 Moms

.. and totally make me f'n miserable!

Seriously! I'm close with my mom and she's an amazing woman BUT man she has no filter and just can't let go of certain things. I don't know what is up with that but her ideal of what I should look like is just hurtful.

I've struggled with acne since I was 13. It bugs me a lot and it makes me very selfconscious. So I don't need my mother constantly reminding me how horrible my skin is.

She hasn't been in town for 48 hours and she sat next to me, gave me that look of pity, concern and annoyance and just said, while touching my shoulder "so, what are we going to do about your face"

REALLY? Thanks a lot! Now I feel like total $hit!

She also has to remind me all the time that my hair is too fine, doesn't look good and that I need to cut it.

I know I shouldn't let this bother me, but it does when it's constantly coming from my MOTHER. I feel like I'm just never good enough..

Ugh, sorry ladies, I had to vent.

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Re: Oh mom... you just know what to say...

  • aboynamedbarryaboynamedbarry member
    that's horrible. i'm sorry :( i would be so hurt if my mom was doing that to me!!! i guess all we can do is remember how it feels so we don't do this to our own daughters!!!
    eliza bopple
    Eliza born 1-25-12
    Baby 2 EDD 7-18-14
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  • bigbearbigbear

    imageaboynamedbarry:
    that's horrible. i'm sorry :( i would be so hurt if my mom was doing that to me!!! i guess all we can do is remember how it feels so we don't do this to our own daughters!!!

    Definitely!

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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  • bigbearbigbear

    imageMrsMooney:
    Do we have the same mother? My mom likes to point out my acne too I have had bad acne forever due to my pcos. It makes me feel terrible. My mom also likes to comment on my weight. Like when we go shipping she will say something like "that will look better when you lose that ten pounds you want to." granted I may have said I wanted to lose weight, but it still makes me feel like crap when she says that. I have always struggled with self esteem issues, in part due to her, and I have been trying so hard to overcome them so I don't pass them on to DD, but it is tough. I'm really sorry you had to deal with this too! I know it sucks!

    Oh I'm sorry you have to deal with the same thing :( It is definitely frustrating and not easy to deal with. I'm going to have to have a very serious talk with my mom so she doesn't pull that kind of BS with my DD or all hell is going to break loose.

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  • raefreraefre member
    As much as I complain about my MIL, she at least compliments me when I lose weight, even if it is just a pound. My mother and grandmother, on the other hand, nag and comment.  And my mother is always comparing my slim brother to me, saying how *healthy* he is and how I should become a vegetarian, like her; but guess who has high blood pressure and cholesterol at the tender age of 25--not me!
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  • bigbearbigbear

    imageraefre:
    As much as I complain about my MIL, she at least compliments me when I lose weight, even if it is just a pound. My mother and grandmother, on the other hand, nag and comment.  And my mother is always comparing my slim brother to me, saying how *healthy* he is and how I should become a vegetarian, like her; but guess who has high blood pressure and cholesterol at the tender age of 25--not me!

    I also have to admit that my MIL will always say that I look good.

    And I always try to think my mom means well blablabbla but it's still fn wrong! I'm not perfect but neither is she or anybody else! It doesn't make us less of a person and it certainly doesn't mean we need to change. Some things you can't change, so why rub it in. I tried talking to my mom and told her that she's hurting my feelings and then she turns it around and acts all heartbroken how she's my mother, wants only the best for me and wants to help me and I'm attacking her. OMFG!!

    And this comparing to somebody else, and how you should be like somebody else, not cool!

    If it wasn't for my DH who every morning tells me how beautiful and hot I am I'd be hiding under an oversized sweater and hat LOL

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  • raefreraefre member

    imagebigbear:
    I tried talking to my mom and told her that she's hurting my feelings and then she turns it around and acts all heartbroken how she's my mother, wants only the best for me and wants to help me and I'm attacking her. OMFG!!

    Oh. Wow. I've had that talk with my mom and...while it takes some time to sink in...it eventually does. Gosh. 

    It is so nice to have supportive and loving husbands. I always tell mine that I never felt loved until I met him.

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