Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: pregnant after one-night stand. New here
I already got you on our BMB, but I'd like to add a few things:
1. You really shouldn't fight access of your child. It's unfair to limit your child's access to his other parent. And depending on where you live and the circumstances, you might not have any choice on the matter.
2. Don't dwell on the bad things. It seems like a lot, to forgive someone who said those things to you and abandoned you/your child when you needed them most, but really, what's gained by holding a grudge? You'l be happier if you focus on yourself and your baby, just being happy.
Hope all goes well.
I don't understand these effing men. They just constantly LIE. My baby's father left me and my kids after 9 months and me being 21wks pregnant with his baby. He had been seeing a girl a couple weeks before he left..I just found out SHE is pregnant. What a winner eh? Anyhoo, its maddening how they can bang them out for their own selfishness and then totally deny the product.
If I were in your shoes I would be mature about it and let him panic about a paternity test and give him his visits. However you need to come up with some boundaries, for instance my baby's father loves his weed and his vodka rockstars so I will be requesting he has drug tests before he picks her up and he refrain from drinking while hes got my daughter. I'm also asking for supervised visits in the beginning because he has 2 pitbulls, though I love them to pieces, they're 2 females and they turn on each other daily..my baby doesn't need to be in the middle of that.
Just make sure that you stand your ground! Don't let him bully you into anything. Take notes of circumstances, bring them to court with you. Ultimately if hes freaking out about how he wants visits with the baby then obviously he's lied about getting fixed. Just do your best and remember that honey works better than vinegar sometimes, don't give him a reason to be unrealistic. The courts will see right past the silliness so keep ur chin up!
First of all congrats on being a new mom.
Second, I'm sorry about the BD...what a jerk. He doesn't deserve to be apart of your child's life right now.
Third, if you want him out of your life forever he can always sign over your rights.
... Anyways hun I wish you the best. We are all here to support you. GL!
I am sorry that he treated you that way. But you need to stop thinking of you and start thinking of your baby. Your baby who is a separate person deserves a dad. The court will not care how he treated you while you were pregnant. That isn't a good enough reason to keep him from his kid. And not only that but it looks bad on you as a mother to the court.
This is not true. Parental rights cannot be terminated just because a parent is a jerk, or you don't like him, or whatever. There has to be a good solid reason, like the father is deemed unfit by a court and the court seeks to terminate rights, or the CP is remarried and the step parent is trying to adopt the child. That said, a child support order does not mean the father has visitation rights if you are unmarried. He must set up visitation through the courts, if he wishes to do so.
Im not sure you ever planned on having children or not , but at 38 you have to see it as a blessing. esp being a o.n.s. So many woman have issues getting pregnant.
Enjoy this journey. Pregnancy goes by fast do take it all in. If he comes around great , if not you will be ok. His loss !!!