Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
tdmklm
member
Re: Have you guys seen this?
Yup. It made my wife so mad that she wrote an impassioned response that's making it's way around my facebook world...
Most of these things just roll off my back, but this one even makes me want to throw up. How dare he?
I just saw this and read it to my wife and our employee who is gay and expecting and HOLLY COW ... serious !!! OMG is all i can think ...OMG - this makes me thing crud now so many will run back in to the closet and live in fear and for our LGBT group we run we have to be very selective on how we present ourselves for fear that a crazy will infiltrate( not really but you get the just as it was ny first reaction )
I am sorry HOLLY *** !!!!!!!! is just all that keeps coming out !.
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
here is another
https://www.advocate.com/politics/religion/2012/08/09/bryan-fischer-advocates-underground-railroad-abduct-children-same-sex
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
Somehow I don't think that idea is going to catch on. What an idiot.
Absolutely horrific.
I don't know how people end up with so much hate.
I think what is showing up is more extreme - and I think it's the last, pathetic gasp of a dying philosophy. They know they lost this battle and lost it HARD. The polling numbers in favor of gay marriage have gotten dramatically better - and even that is putting aside the fact that we now discuss gay people in our society in terms of marriage, not in terms of whether we should put them in jail for being sodomites. There is really nowhere to turn now for people like this - the Republican party is no longer safe quarter. I don't care how many people ate chicken sandwiches at that chicken-sandwich-in or whatever they called it - we won, and they know it, and all that's left is impotent raging.
via social media for sure... we are going out today and I will be very interested to see how things go as we are doing a LGBT dinner... We have a sign but I was telling M maybe we should not have it out ( it does not outwardly say we are a gay group) but its is rainbow.. and the group is We Are Family LV.. so .. eeek i am a bit worried.
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
Leap, I hope you're right.
The problem with idiotic statements like the one Asshat Deluxe made is that, even if he doesn't really mean it (which he has confirmed he does, by the way, they attract the attention of crazies. Crazies are dangerous. Remember Dr. Tiller? All it takes is one crazy person to take it upon him/herself to do what these people say... I, for one, am scared.
I guess it doesn't help that I've witnessed an astounding amount of homophobia on the September 2010 board. There are plenty of bumpies who are quick to jump to our defense, but some of the conversations that have happened over there about CFA lead me to believe that I am very sheltered because of where I live. At least here, when people are homophobic they know it's something they should be ashamed of. There are parts of the country where being homophobic is the expectation. One poster over there actually said gays are annoying because we won't stop talking about rights. She actually asked, and I quote, "What other rights are you wanting?" Uuhhhh, let's see... ALL OF THEM.
It frustrates me that people are ignorant but still feel like they have a right to a valid opinion - and a really loud one at that - about something. Sorry, you don't. Educate yourself, and then you will have earned the right to have an opinion, whatever it is. If you're well informed, I'll respect you even if I don't agree with you, but if you don't know what the he** you're talking about, do yourself - and the world - a favor and SHUT IT.
Seriously, instead of saying the CFA debate is annoying, just ask why it's so important to us. Just say, "Hey, T, I don't really understand why this is a big deal from your perspective. Can you tell me what you think about it?" And then we can have a conversation.
This has turned into a vent. I could go on and on, too... *sigh*
Yes, crazies are dangerous. But they are less dangerous than 90% of the country thinking we should go to jail for lady-lovin', so on the whole, I remain very optimistic about our future. The overall trend of gay acceptance and gay rights in the last 50 years is nothing short of astounding. It's true, I am frustrated that I got married and then moved to a jurisdiction where I had to register for a domestic partnership, and then that jurisdiction started recognizing gay marriage so I was married again, and then I moved again and my marriage automatically converted to a domestic partnership, and now this November we're voting on whether to let me be married again. But I GOT MARRIED. To a very cute lady. And then we had babies and our doctors were super-positive about it and the hospital staff treated us great and then I adopted those babies with no problem. I have seen the revolution with my own eyes with Jen's (Southern, evangelical) family and my older coworkers. You may call me Pollyanna if you wish. I do not mind, and I have been accused in the past of naivete or just straight up ignoring the bad stuff. I'm just happy with where we are going.
I've lived all over the place - I was raised in Wichita, lived in Boston and DC for long periods, live in the Pac NW now, did short stints in Texas, South Dakota, Colorado, Wisconsin. There were homophobic people and accepting people in all of those places. I never had any trouble in high school. In fact the most I ever heard against gay people was when I lived in Boston during the gay marriage debate in 2003-2004. That was hard, and shocking in some ways. But change scares people and makes them stupid, and this is a time of rapid change.
I think geography does have something to do with it, but the internet also has a lot to do with it. Those people would never say half of that stuff to your face - let alone donate to an anti-gay group or commit a crime to "prove" their point. I would never say that you shouldn't worry about keeping yourself or your family safe or take precautions - that's something we all have to do. I just hate to think of anyone letting stupid chicken zealots get the best of them
I think we have made HUGE progress, and I also think we have a ways to go. Looking to the civil rights movement, I think the gay rights movement is having our "Bloody Sunday" moment. It's the moment where people realize that this whole rights movement might actually be going somewhere, and get scared and try to stop it. The gay rights movement is somewhat blessed that this has mostly taken on the form of saying stupid things on the Internet and eating chicken sandwiches, as opposed to public beatings and lynching.
It is also the moment that in the civil rights movement turned the tide and brought out more vocal support. And we are seeing this now too. Straight people no longer feel that they can be neutral on this issue, or just not care. While Dan Cathy was defending his right to give money to hate groups, Target sold Pride t-shirts in June and my local American Apparel has a pro-equality sign in the window. Many of my straight friends, who used to be completely in the dark about the issues faced by LGBT people, now know about the issues and are willing to speak out.
So yes, we will win our rights. We will get marriage equality in all states, and DOMA will be overturned or repealed. And we will get the protections plenty of people forget we don't have - protection from employment and housing discrimination in all states. But there will still be hate and homophobia. There will still be people who think of us as second class citizens, and people who think our families shouldn't have a right to exist, just like there is still racism. But it will eventually be less okay to be vocally homophobic, or to teach your kids homophobia. Religious defenses of homophobic hatred will eventually be seen as preposterous as those used to oppose interracial marriage or defend slavery.
But right now, it is hard, and living in Alabama is certainly different from living in Massachusetts, just as it was in the Civil Rights era. C and I are still nervous when we leave the city, and especially when we go to rural areas. When living in Michigan and Illinois, most people stare at me blankly when I say I have a wife, as if to say "I didn't know you could do that." And I often get questions about the legal status of my union, or if I am "really married", since people don't really know what it means to be married in Massachusetts, civil unioned in Illinois, and not recognized at all in Michigan. We have openly discussed staying in states with legal protections for us, and it is one of our priorities. So I'm between leap's rosy view of the future, and tdmklm's despair. In the meantime, I just want to live my life without having to hear about everyone's opinion on it.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
Just to be clear, I'm not despairing (yet) - I'm just pretty angry and a little scared.
Heh...yeah...I understand. But I was making a rhetorical point!
I would describe my predominant emotion on this issue as "crabby".
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts