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December 2011 Moms
proudboxermommy
member
Really DH? A Vent
proudboxermommy
member
I'm just so sick of DH coming and telling me every time one of his buddies has a wife or girlfriend that cheats on or leaves him, he has to come tell me about it and ask if I'm going to do that to him.
I understand that his confidence may be shaky because he's been gone for so long, but I'm tired of hearing it. How many times do I have to reassure him that I'm not going to leave him? That I'm not going to cheat on him?
I feel like he doesn't trust me, and I don't know what I could possibly have done to make him not trust me. I just don't know what to do. I've tried to tell him all of this before, about how much it hurts my feelings. Every time I tell him, he promises he won't say anything about it again but then he does. Usually less than two weeks later. I don't understand how he can possibly have this many friends with cheating/leaving SOs.
I'm sorry if this seems scattered and hard to read, I just had to get it out of my head.
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Re: Really DH? A Vent
Yeah that sucks. My Dh and I went through this for a while a long time ago. When we first started dating like a million years ago he cheated and I forgave him and stayed. Since that my Dh has always thought i would get pay back or something. I just laugh and tell him "If were going to do that to you it would have been beofre we bought a house, got married, and had a baby because divorce is just to much work and I'm lazy" LOL!!!
They need to get over it and realize they have good women that love them.
A huge lot of my friends when through this a few years ago. Cheating wives, cheating husbands. No one trusting anyone anymore.
What if you start saying "not having an affair" ...every 1.5 weeks for a few weeks and then every 2 weeks...then every month. Maybe you could "trust train" him
That or let him know that you'd consider a 3-way long before you'd consider cheating
Exactly. That's almost exactly what I said to him when he first started up with this.
Haha, that could work!
we are opposite. I'm always worried he will cheat. Has he given me any reason to doubt our relationship? Nope. Do I have any reason (besides being paranoid) not to trust him? Nope.
It's a confidence thing on my end. He's done nothing wrong. I just don't feel like I measure up in terms of his previous girlfriends (or girls he "dated" while we broke up in college). We were both completely free to do what we wanted. This was no Ross/Rachel "we were on a break" thing.
i was extremely insecure when i first started dating my husband b/c i had been cheating on before in my 20's with someone else & kept going back to the same person who repeatedly cheated & me & lied about it.
my husband has never done anything for me to suspect him but i was just very insecure at first b/c of my past experiences. once we get married, i finally stopped accusing him & being insecure. i know it's frustrating for you & you don't feel the need to defend yourself but if he sees that around his friends, he probably worries too & feels a little insecure. this might be cheesy, but maybe you could write him a nice card that explains how much you love him & treasure your relationship so that he has it with him & he can read it when he feels nervous/insecure.
That's when you say "Oh Honey, I fell in love with the new Man in my life (insert DS's month count) months ago who has the most handsome of eyes, hair, and features, he's so handsome just like his Daddy! (and give him/DH a kiss)"... Usually it shuts them right down!
(DH & I have had a joke for years now that the family business is his "Other Woman" ... when I started training with a group of meatheads he at first had a little insecurity until I invited them all over for dinner one night and he realized he was the safest man on this planet LOL)