i need to CALM DOWN!!!

aboynamedbarry · August 2012

I have been getting soooooo freaking worked up over the stupidest things that people say to me... specifically stuff about how they have chosen to raise their babies. i always thought that once i had my own my opinions would simmer a bit since i could do whatever i wanted and could ignore other people stupid (well, in my mind) decisions. however, it is not the case. I find myself getting increasingly agitated when people don't agree with me (in real life mainly, not on here

last night i spent like a half hour before bed just trying to calm my thoughts and stop being so upset about things I have no control over. it's just so frustrating though. i must sound like a crazy person now to anyone reading this, but i'm sure we all experience similar frustrations. it's so easy to judge other people, but the reality is, we are all entitled to our own opinions and ways of doing things... however the things that get me most angry are health and safety issues... like when I saw two people get out of a 2 door car the other night smoking with the windows cracked about an inch and then pull an infant car seat out of the back that is piled high with clothes and garbage. now THAT pisses me off.

ugh. anyone else have a rant today?

fyrefairie · August 2012

I saw a no more than 7 year old boy ride his bike through my office parking lot smoking a cigarette...I want to hunt down his parents and knock their heads together. WTF

Rsoc23 · August 2012

I am a raging, pms-ing lunatic today and I fukcing hate everyone. especially DH. DS was whining this morning while DH was getting ready for work so I asked him to check on him. 2 minutes later DS is still fussing. I said 'I thought you were going to check him!' he said that he did.

so I get up to find a fussy baby in a loaded diaper with a terrible rash because he had been sleeping in it.

DH is a dumbass today and I just might gouge his eyes out before the day is over.

Huahine · August 2012

Rsoc23 - My DH might have found that diaper in his sock drawer if he had pulled sht like that.

Rsoc23 · August 2012

Huahine:
Rsoc23 - My DH might have found that diaper in his sock drawer if he had pulled sht like that.

HA! the day is young and there is poop every diaper change; it just might happen.

fyrefairie · August 2012

HilarityEnsued:
fyrefairie:

I saw a no more than 7 year old boy ride his bike through my office parking lot smoking a cigarette...I want to hunt down his parents and knock their heads together. WTF

Holy shitttt is this serious?!?!

Indeed, I was in my office in session with a client when he rode by....Had I not been midsession with a client I would have gone out there and talked to him myself. I was livid

namara5532 · August 2012

I get livid when I see someone doing something potentially dangerous with their kids too. I about flipped out when I saw this lady run into a chinese place and leave her 3 kids in the backseat, one of them screaming for his mama. The car was off, the windows cracked, and it was over 90 outside. I seriously wanted to call the cops on her, especially since it was after some news stories of babies dying in hot cars came out.

anhg80 · August 2012

I've managed to avoid being too judgy as I've realized that sometimes life changes your plans. However, there are some things I can't help but side-eye.

The other day I met a mom and her 13 month old. He kept throwing his sippy cup, and she mentioned that they had taught him to throw rocks while camping so he wouldn't get the rocks. They are now frustrated with him throwing everything.

All I could think of was "since when was throwing rocks a desirable behavior?"

And that's my bitchy comment for the week...

Huahine · August 2012

namara5532:
I get livid when I see someone doing something potentially dangerous with their kids too. I about flipped out when I saw this lady run into a chinese place and leave her 3 kids in the backseat, one of them screaming for his mama. The car was off, the windows cracked, and it was over 90 outside. I seriously wanted to call the cops on her, especially since it was after some news stories of babies dying in hot cars came out.

That pissed you off? Seriously? There is no way I would unbuckle three kids to run inside and pickup takeout. No way. No matter the heat. But I have a phobia about heat and babies and cars and would probably order takeout instead. Still, I wouldn't judge her.

Perhaps I should save this for FFFC, but I regularly leave my kid in the car to go inside and pay for gas (the diesel pumps usually don't take credit cards) and to turn in library books. Each takes me all of two minutes.

namara5532 · August 2012

Huahine:
namara5532:

I get livid when I see someone doing something potentially dangerous with their kids too. I about flipped out when I saw this lady run into a chinese place and leave her 3 kids in the backseat, one of them screaming for his mama. The car was off, the windows cracked, and it was over 90 outside. I seriously wanted to call the cops on her, especially since it was after some news stories of babies dying in hot cars came out.

That pissed you off? Seriously? There is no way I would unbuckle three kids to run inside and pickup takeout. No way. No matter the heat. But I have a phobia about heat and babies and cars and would probably order takeout instead. Still, I wouldn't judge her.

Perhaps I should save this for FFFC, but I regularly leave my kid in the car to go inside and pay for gas (the diesel pumps usually don't take credit cards) and to turn in library books. Each takes me all of two minutes.

Have you ever sat in a car on a hot day with the AC off, even with the windows down? It gets pretty toasty after only 5 minutes. Kids have died that way. Sorry, but if you're not willing to unbuckle your child and bring them with you, either get drive thru or run your errands when you have someone to watch LO. I'm sure in other respects you're a great mom, but I won't tell you it's ok to leave your child in the car for any reason, even on a not so hot day.

CharlieTheUnicorn · August 2012

namara5532:
Huahine:
namara5532:

I get livid when I see someone doing something potentially dangerous with their kids too. I about flipped out when I saw this lady run into a chinese place and leave her 3 kids in the backseat, one of them screaming for his mama. The car was off, the windows cracked, and it was over 90 outside. I seriously wanted to call the cops on her, especially since it was after some news stories of babies dying in hot cars came out.

That pissed you off? Seriously? There is no way I would unbuckle three kids to run inside and pickup takeout. No way. No matter the heat. But I have a phobia about heat and babies and cars and would probably order takeout instead. Still, I wouldn't judge her.

Perhaps I should save this for FFFC, but I regularly leave my kid in the car to go inside and pay for gas (the diesel pumps usually don't take credit cards) and to turn in library books. Each takes me all of two minutes.
Have you ever sat in a car on a hot day with the AC off, even with the windows down? It gets pretty toasty after only 5 minutes. Kids have died that way. Sorry, but if you're not willing to unbuckle your child and bring them with you, either get drive thru or run your errands when you have someone to watch LO. I'm sure in other respects you're a great mom, but I won't tell you it's ok to leave your child in the car for any reason, even on a not so hot day.

I'm with namara on this one, I'd never leave any of my kids in a car alone, even for 2 minutes, even with it running.

Huahine · August 2012

CharlieTheUnicorn:
namara5532:
Huahine:
namara5532:

I get livid when I see someone doing something potentially dangerous with their kids too. I about flipped out when I saw this lady run into a chinese place and leave her 3 kids in the backseat, one of them screaming for his mama. The car was off, the windows cracked, and it was over 90 outside. I seriously wanted to call the cops on her, especially since it was after some news stories of babies dying in hot cars came out.

That pissed you off? Seriously? There is no way I would unbuckle three kids to run inside and pickup takeout. No way. No matter the heat. But I have a phobia about heat and babies and cars and would probably order takeout instead. Still, I wouldn't judge her.

Perhaps I should save this for FFFC, but I regularly leave my kid in the car to go inside and pay for gas (the diesel pumps usually don't take credit cards) and to turn in library books. Each takes me all of two minutes.
Have you ever sat in a car on a hot day with the AC off, even with the windows down? It gets pretty toasty after only 5 minutes. Kids have died that way. Sorry, but if you're not willing to unbuckle your child and bring them with you, either get drive thru or run your errands when you have someone to watch LO. I'm sure in other respects you're a great mom, but I won't tell you it's ok to leave your child in the car for any reason, even on a not so hot day.
I'm with namara on this one, I'd never leave any of my kids in a car alone, even for 2 minutes, even with it running.

Namara - I do actually sit in the car with it off with LO regularly. Just yesterday, after his pediatrician appointment we went to the library to do story hour. We parked in our usual spot under the trees. I had already turned the car off when I realized LO was asleep. We were 25 minutes early, so I spent 15 catching up on work on my phone with the car off and the windows rolled up. Granted, it was only in the 80's here yesterday, but it was still comfortable in the car.

Every weekend we stop at a fish store on our way back from the shore. Often it is in the mid to high 80's. We rarely have temps in the 90's here, but sometimes we do. DH runs in and I sit with LO. It does get warm during the 5 - 10 minutes he is inside, but not uncomfortably so.

Those are just two examples. Based on my experiences sitting in our vehicles with LO, I think I'm in a pretty good position to judge how long they stay comfortable when parked in the shade or sun.

Maybe it is a regional thing, but I see other moms around here leaving their kids alone in a vehicle for a minute or two all the time. I'm not talking about going and doing their grocery shopping or strolling around Target for 30 minutes, but hitting the ATM or picking up dry cleaning or, yes, grabbing takeout. In situations where you can see your vehicle and you aren't gone long, I don't see the big issue. But maybe I'm missing something.

I could see with older kids, who can get themselves unbuckled from their car seats and unlock the doors on their own, hesitating to leave them. But depending on the kids, I might still leave them for a minute or two. I'll have to see when I get there.

Charlie - Your situation (several young kids) is so similar to Namara's example above. I was wondering why you would never leave your kids in your car.

aboynamedbarry · August 2012

Huahine:
CharlieTheUnicorn:
namara5532:
Huahine:
namara5532:

I get livid when I see someone doing something potentially dangerous with their kids too. I about flipped out when I saw this lady run into a chinese place and leave her 3 kids in the backseat, one of them screaming for his mama. The car was off, the windows cracked, and it was over 90 outside. I seriously wanted to call the cops on her, especially since it was after some news stories of babies dying in hot cars came out.

That pissed you off? Seriously? There is no way I would unbuckle three kids to run inside and pickup takeout. No way. No matter the heat. But I have a phobia about heat and babies and cars and would probably order takeout instead. Still, I wouldn't judge her.

Perhaps I should save this for FFFC, but I regularly leave my kid in the car to go inside and pay for gas (the diesel pumps usually don't take credit cards) and to turn in library books. Each takes me all of two minutes.

Have you ever sat in a car on a hot day with the AC off, even with the windows down? It gets pretty toasty after only 5 minutes. Kids have died that way. Sorry, but if you're not willing to unbuckle your child and bring them with you, either get drive thru or run your errands when you have someone to watch LO. I'm sure in other respects you're a great mom, but I won't tell you it's ok to leave your child in the car for any reason, even on a not so hot day.

I'm with namara on this one, I'd never leave any of my kids in a car alone, even for 2 minutes, even with it running.

Namara - I do actually sit in the car with it off with LO regularly. Just yesterday, after his pediatrician appointment we went to the library to do story hour. We parked in our usual spot under the trees. I had already turned the car off when I realized LO was asleep. We were 25 minutes early, so I spent 15 catching up on work on my phone with the car off and the windows rolled up. Granted, it was only in the 80's here yesterday, but it was still comfortable in the car.

Every weekend we stop at a fish store on our way back from the shore. Often it is in the mid to high 80's. We rarely have temps in the 90's here, but sometimes we do. DH runs in and I sit with LO. It does get warm during the 5 - 10 minutes he is inside, but not uncomfortably so.

Those are just two examples. Based on my experiences sitting in our vehicles with LO, I think I'm in a pretty good position to judge how long they stay comfortable when parked in the shade or sun.

Maybe it is a regional thing, but I see other moms around here leaving their kids alone in a vehicle for a minute or two all the time. I'm not talking about going and doing their grocery shopping or strolling around Target for 30 minutes, but hitting the ATM or picking up dry cleaning or, yes, grabbing takeout. In situations where you can see your vehicle and you aren't gone long, I don't see the big issue. But maybe I'm missing something.

I could see with older kids, who can get themselves unbuckled from their car seats and unlock the doors on their own, hesitating to leave them. But depending on the kids, I might still leave them for a minute or two. I'll have to see when I get there.

Charlie - Your situation (several young kids) is so similar to Namara's example above. I was wondering why you would never leave your kids in your car.

I'm sorry but I have to agree with namara and charlie on this one. Even after your response here. I can understand being defensive about something like this as you probably hadn't thought of that being unsafe before being called out on it, however, even if heat isn't an issue for you, the fact is it is ILLEGAL in several states to leave children in cars unattended no matter how long. I hesitate to leave my daughter to put my cart in the cart corral at the grocery store. and because i hate leaving the carts, i usually find a spot next to a corral so that i don't have to walk away, otherwise i leave the cart in the parking lot. Also, you may want to consider the fact that as namara stated she almost called the cops. You may be the one someone calls the cops on one of these days. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to point out something you may not have seen before...

Rsoc23 · August 2012

I would never leave my kid in the car-even for a minute. at the store I will load the groceries, take the cart back WITH DS and then carry him back to the car.

Huahine · August 2012

aboynamedbarry:

I'm sorry but I have to agree with namara and charlie on this one. Even after your response here. I can understand being defensive about something like this as you probably hadn't thought of that being unsafe before being called out on it, however, even if heat isn't an issue for you, the fact is it is ILLEGAL in several states to leave children in cars unattended no matter how long. I hesitate to leave my daughter to put my cart in the cart corral at the grocery store. and because i hate leaving the carts, i usually find a spot next to a corral so that i don't have to walk away, otherwise i leave the cart in the parking lot. Also, you may want to consider the fact that as namara stated she almost called the cops. You may be the one someone calls the cops on one of these days. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to point out something you may not have seen before...

I don't feel defensive. I was explaining the thought processes and circumstances behind the actions.

Legality aside, I still don't see how it is unsafe. If the car isn't hot and isn't likely to get hot, what is the danger with leaving a child who can not get itself out of a car seat to unlock the doors in a car for a minute or two? The car is off. There is no danger of them opening the power windows. There is no chance that they are going to throw the car into gear.

Sure, a boogy man could jump out of the bushes and break the window and steal my kid, but I choose not to live my life being afraid of the boogy man.

And as to legality - because I don't use my legal research skills nearly often enough, and I dig case law - I looked it up. It is not illegal in my state to leave a child in a car.

Huahine · August 2012

Rsoc23:
I would never leave my kid in the car-even for a minute. at the store I will load the groceries, take the cart back WITH DS and then carry him back to the car.

Why? I can see that I'm in the minority here, and I'm genuinely trying to understand why you and the others who have posted similar things feel this way.

aboynamedbarry · August 2012

Huahine:

Rsoc23:
I would never leave my kid in the car-even for a minute. at the store I will load the groceries, take the cart back WITH DS and then carry him back to the car.

Why? I can see that I'm in the minority here, and I'm genuinely trying to understand why you and the others who have posted similar things feel this way.

check to see what the law states about this issue in your state

namara5532 · August 2012

The idea of leaving a child in the car unattended still makes me cringe. 5 minutes can easily turn into 15, which makes, if nothing else, a hot and sweaty LO when you come back out. All the windows in the car turns it into an oven, and a rear facing infant isn't getting much direct air when you're driving with them in the first place, so they aren't starting at an ideal temperature when you run in somewhere to run an errand or get food. Also, there are messed up people who would see an unattended child and kidnap them, especially a baby. Not the issue I was trying to make, but still a legit concern. Some fear of the boogy man is healthy.

And for the record, the lady I was complaining about had run into a chinese buffet. She was getting a to-go box to fill up, but it was like 100 degrees outside to begin with.

CharlieTheUnicorn · August 2012

Huahine:
Charlie - Your situation (several young kids) is so similar to Namara's example above. I was wondering why you would never leave your kids in your car.

I've got 5, ranging from 12 years to 6 months. I could probably get away with it since the 12 year old could be in charge, but frankly it's just not worth the risk of something happening. A fight breaking out amongst them, it getting too hot (our temps are in the 110s), a kid getting out (highly unlikely since I have child locks) or the more rare but still scary car/child getting stolen. 5 minutes worth of convenience is just never makes it ok to me!

Huahine · August 2012

aboynamedbarry:
Huahine:

Rsoc23:
I would never leave my kid in the car-even for a minute. at the store I will load the groceries, take the cart back WITH DS and then carry him back to the car.

Why? I can see that I'm in the minority here, and I'm genuinely trying to understand why you and the others who have posted similar things feel this way.

check to see what the law states about this issue in your state

I did. I read some cases this morning that discussed the statutes that might be applicable. The courts here have determined that it is not illegal.

raefre · August 2012

Huahine:
Why? I can see that I'm in the minority here, and I'm genuinely trying to understand why you and the others who have posted similar things feel this way.

I'm two minded about this. I would never leave my dog or kid in the car in the summer for obvious reasons. I would leave my dog in the car in winter time if I was going to be in-and-out. I've left my kid in the house while I've done yard work or to run to the mail box the next street down.

However, even if it is winter time, I don't think I could leave my child in the car--even if I'm willing to leave my child in his crib for a longer time while I'm outside.

Maybe it is the distance of space (I'm closer to the house than if I were to run inside the store). Or maybe I could hear my child if I'm outside my house but not inside the store.

lp0 · August 2012

I have to agree that it's not worth the risk leaving lo in the car. Yes you are planning on running in for two minutes but god forbid if something out of the ordinary happens. What happens if you slip and fall and knock yourself out? I know it's out there but it could definitely happen. Also it's sad but there are sickos out there that wait for that split second opportunity to take advantage of a situation like this. I just wouldn't take the risk, it's not that important and with the way car seats snap in and out of the base now it's so easy to take lo with you.

aboynamedbarry · August 2012

Huahine:
aboynamedbarry:
Huahine:

Rsoc23:
I would never leave my kid in the car-even for a minute. at the store I will load the groceries, take the cart back WITH DS and then carry him back to the car.

Why? I can see that I'm in the minority here, and I'm genuinely trying to understand why you and the others who have posted similar things feel this way.

check to see what the law states about this issue in your state

I did. I read some cases this morning that discussed the statutes that might be applicable. The courts here have determined that it is not illegal.

well i'm glad then that you feel like you have nothing to worry about. just keep in mind that the other day I watched someone get fined for leaving their dog in the car. and in my state it's actually not illegal to leave your kid in the car. so i guess if you wanna stick by your guns and say there is nothing wrong with it, just be prepared to swallow whatever comes your way the day that someone decides to call CPS on you.

fyrefairie · August 2012

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kid%20left%20in%20car&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CFIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2Fblogs%2Fheadlines%2F2012%2F06%2Fkentucky-father-arrested-after-son-left-in-hot-car%2F&ei=ZBQkUNPaCaOKjAKw64GQDA&usg=AFQjCNEYO2y2rlyAM4h9CdKQQRa3RWdFqg

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kid%20left%20in%20car&source=web&cd=2&sqi=2&ved=0CAkQqQIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nydailynews.com%2Fnews%2Fnational%2F2-kids-die-a-scorching-car-tragedy-mom-samantha-harper-falls-asleep-hour-wakes-toddlers-dead-article-1.1130243&ei=ZBQkUNPaCaOKjAKw64GQDA&usg=AFQjCNGhBFGCgFNvSISaaJ12cJxX5vcB_g

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kid%20left%20in%20car&source=web&cd=3&sqi=2&ved=0CA0QqQIwAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.krmg.com%2Fnews%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Frecord-breaking-number-children-died-hot-cars-with%2FnQFCD%2F&ei=ZBQkUNPaCaOKjAKw64GQDA&usg=AFQjCNGdr_fIYkwVHMK846hXUwNCq-wLCg

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kid%20left%20in%20car&source=web&cd=8&sqi=2&ved=0CF8QFjAH&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sltrib.com%2Fsltrib%2Fworld%2F54450440-68%2Fcar-indianapolis-girl-hot.html.csp&ei=ZBQkUNPaCaOKjAKw64GQDA&usg=AFQjCNGX-hKuc3psHQolhty6hTfmMHh3Mg

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kid%20left%20in%20car&source=web&cd=7&sqi=2&ved=0CF0QFjAG&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usatoday.com%2Fnews%2Fhealth%2Fstory%2F2012-07-10%2Fhot-cars-children-deaths%2F56125706%2F1&ei=ZBQkUNPaCaOKjAKw64GQDA&usg=AFQjCNGBEmV5pEA6tEWS8lIP1_vCw9hNAw

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=kid%20left%20in%20car&source=web&cd=9&sqi=2&ved=0CGEQFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fggweather.com%2Fheat%2F&ei=ZBQkUNPaCaOKjAKw64GQDA&usg=AFQjCNFJpEuFi6dlpuFrljEhAMK5toSSKw

i need to CALM DOWN!!!

Re: i need to CALM DOWN!!!

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