Who are my PGAL gals?

FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

I've already seen a few tickers and sigs, so who all is here after suffering a loss?

How are you holding up? How long has it been?

My answer.
BFP#2 was a natural m/c at 9 weeks in 2010, 3 months later we got our BFP#3, DS#2 who was born in 2011. I feel a little crazy with my changing emotions with this pregnancy, as I'm a little fearful, but overall just super overjoyed. It's like I'm fully aware that I'm forgetting the possibility.

crunchymnm · August 2012

We've had to early mc.. Dec and May. Both were right at or after 4 weeks. Yep, I test early. I was 4 weeks yesterday. So I feel like if I can get past this weekend, I'll feel a lot better.

EIsieMae · August 2012

My BFP #2 ended in an early loss back in April.

I've actually handled this pregnancy much better than I thought I would. I told myself when I tested positive that I wasn't gonna stress about another loss, because if it did happen again, there would be nothing I could do to prevent it. So far I've done pretty well at not stressing out, but I've still had my moments.

I passed my milestone last week, and my betas look good, so I've been a little more relaxed this week. Our ultrasound is on the 24th and I'll feel a lot better if everything goes well with that:)

KikiCohen · August 2012

I'm lurking the heck out of this board, does that count?

My plans are to test on Saturday! This is our first cycle TTCAL, so I'm trying to remain hopeful, but not get too confident.

FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

crunchymnm:
So I feel like if I can get past this weekend, I'll feel a lot better.

So glad you're feeling okay, I hope this weekend passes quickly for you!

EIsieMae:
I passed my milestone last week, and my betas look good, so I've been a little more relaxed this week. Our ultrasound is on the 24th and I'll feel a lot better if everything goes well with that:)

Yay for passing milestones! My u/s isn't until Sept 10th, augh! So glad you're getting in earlier!

KikiCohen:
I'm lurking the heck out of this board, does that count?

My plans are to test on Saturday! This is our first cycle TTCAL, so I'm trying to remain hopeful, but not get too confident.

Oh I hope you get a BFP!

medblais · August 2012

I am PGAL, although my story is a bit different. I had a full-term healthy pregnancy with my daughter, and birth, and when she was a month old she contracted meningitis. We spent 10 days in the NICU, and she died fom the damage the infection had caused to her brain. I am doing better than I thought I would be doing. I don't have as much fear and worry as I expected, which I am pretty proud of myself for. I hope this positivity continues throughout the pregnancy! But I do expect to have some rough days ahead.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

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FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

medblais:
I am PGAL, although my story is a bit different.

There are no words for the depth of my sympathy. I am so sorry and am so glad you are here.

KikiCohen · August 2012

Gknauff79:

BFP # 2 ended at 5 weeks in Feb. (which is exactly where I am today), and BFP #3 was a loss discovered at 12 weeks in May, though baby had stopped growing at 8.

I'm a total wreck, and while I am happy to be pregnant, I am not excited. My innocence is gone, and just about every moment is panic filled.

Would anyone be up for a weekly or bi-weekly PGAL check in? I saw one of my former TTCAL ladies does one for March and I thought it was a cool idea.

Ahhh I totally missed your BFP announcement! Congrats! I hope the days get easier for you

FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

Gknauff79:
I'm a total wreck, and while I am happy to be pregnant, I am not excited. My innocence is gone, and just about every moment is panic filled.

Would anyone be up for a weekly or bi-weekly PGAL check in? I saw one of my former TTCAL ladies does one for March and I thought it was a cool idea.

That's what I find so odd this time Gk, I feel like a FTM. I can't even wrap my head around how ignorant I feel. I'll be praying for you.

I think it's a great idea! My previous BMB did one too.

WorkinWeezel · August 2012

me!!! conceived ds on first cycle born march 2010 started trying for #2 in feb 2011 and diagnosed with unexplained IF in feb 2012. got first bfp last month and had a loss. scared to freaking death right now, hence no ticker just yet. first beta on tuesday (13 dpo) was 34; go for #2 tomorrow!!!

good luck girls

FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

Michbot12:

Augh! The wiping . . . I hope you don't have any more! I had a SCH with my first that completely resolved itself, but caused a lot of spotting.

ct103 · August 2012

BFP #1 was a natural m/c at 7 wks (see siggy/blog)

My loss was on 11/4/11 and it took me 14 cycles to get pregnant that time. This time (post-loss) it took me 7 cycles, and the last cycle (the BFP cycle) was a medicated cycle. There are MANY others who have a much more difficult time getting pregnant than me. But since it's clear that I can't just get pregnant whenever I want, I'm pretty grateful for this.

In terms of pg symptoms, I do feel different this time. Although, I'm not really "counting" my symptoms yet since I'm only 4wks and it's probably just nerves at this point.

ct103 · August 2012

KikiCohen:
I'm lurking the heck out of this board, does that count?

My plans are to test on Saturday! This is our first cycle TTCAL, so I'm trying to remain hopeful, but not get too confident.

::waves hi::

Good luck Kiki! I'll stalk the HECK out of you!

ct103 · August 2012

Gknauff79:
BFP # 2 ended at 5 weeks in Feb. (which is exactly where I am today), and BFP #3 was a loss discovered at 12 weeks in May, though baby had stopped growing at 8.

I'm a total wreck, and while I am happy to be pregnant, I am not excited. My innocence is gone, and just about every moment is panic filled.

Would anyone be up for a weekly or bi-weekly PGAL check in? I saw one of my former TTCAL ladies does one for March and I thought it was a cool idea.

To the bolded; GREAT IDEA! I would love to see that happen.

EIsieMae · August 2012

Gknauff79:
BFP # 2 ended at 5 weeks in Feb. (which is exactly where I am today), and BFP #3 was a loss discovered at 12 weeks in May, though baby had stopped growing at 8.

I'm a total wreck, and while I am happy to be pregnant, I am not excited. My innocence is gone, and just about every moment is panic filled.

Would anyone be up for a weekly or bi-weekly PGAL check in? I saw one of my former TTCAL ladies does one for March and I thought it was a cool idea.

I'm all for a PGAL check in:)

FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

Gknauff79:
Would anyone be up for a weekly or bi-weekly PGAL check in? I saw one of my former TTCAL ladies does one for March and I thought it was a cool idea.

Gk, do you want to take the lead on this? What day should we check in?

Sue&Pasquale · August 2012

to make a long story short, I had 3 miscarriages, they discovered a uterine septum, had surgery. Did IVF got pregnant with my son. tried to get pregnant again with out success, did IVF again. Hdd my 4th miscarriage. Now I am pregnant (almost 5 weeks) with a FET cycle.

So when I was pregnant with my son I was a barrell of nerves. I have to say I didnt enjoy the pregnancy. I just was to scared to enjoy it. But I did just take one week at a time. I would constantly say mantras over and over. I did relaxing every night to relieve the stress.

now with this pregnancy I vowed to myself to enjoy it. to savour every moment with being pregnant. take one week at a time. to think of the positives.

here are some mantras that will be helpful. I actually made copies and put them in my night stand and on my fridge, when I needed some reminders.

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

My past does not dictate my future.

A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage.

Hope does not make bad things happen.

You cannot ?jinx? your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.

Whatever path you and the baby are on, you're already on. There is nothing you can do about it now, especially worrying, to change the outcome. Try to enjoy being pregnant and celebrate your little one!

My past does not determine my future.

History does not have to repeat itself.

One day at a time.

Today I am pregnant and nothing else matters.

I am going to have this baby!

good luck ladies.

smcjmk09 · August 2012

I'm so sorry for each of your losses.

I'm another PGAL girl. We lost our first in January at 8.5 weeks. We knew from a week in that the pregnancy want going well, but we had a little fighter on our hands. We saw the heartbeat 2x, but he was always behind in growth and my numbers didn't double and he never grew beyond 6w2d. We had tried for 9mths for that BFP and it was absolutely crushing, as I know you all know.

We are thrilled but also a big ball of nerves. I think I will feel better in a couple weeks if everything continues to stay on track. I am so nervous for our u/s next week - I pray this LO is doing ok and has a nice strong h/b!

I would definitely be up for a PGAL check-in.

Casie13 · August 2012

I'm with you. I got pregnant without any help (I have PCOS) and it was a total shock! We hadn't prevented for over a year. Just about as soon as I found out, I lost it 3 days later. There is no way to really know how far along I was, but my Dr. thinks I was waaaay early (about 3 weeks).

So, naturally I am way more nervous this time around. Although, this time we used Clomid to get pregnant. Clomid really helps PCOS women because it will make you ovulate a GOOD egg. Normally PCOS women have trouble with ovulating bad eggs, according to my Dr. As long as all goes well, this will be my first child.

I feel a lot more confident in this pregnancy. With the last one, I knew that I was going to lose it. I just had a feeling. Even though I am more confident, I still deal with a great deal of fear. It's hard to be relaxed and happy when you want this baby so badly.

Best wishes to you! I have a feeling that everything is going to be ok!

FamilyofFive2013 · August 2012

Casie13:
I feel a lot more confident in this pregnancy. With the last one, I knew that I was going to lose it. I just had a feeling. Even though I am more confident, I still deal with a great deal of fear. It's hard to be relaxed and happy when you want this baby so badly.

I felt the same with my loss. My DH kept talking about DS1 being a big brother and I always had a knee jerk reaction when he said it.

d3esika · August 2012

I've been trying since April 2011, since October 2011 with an RE, and had BFP and early loss in June of this year. This is my first medicated cycle after that, and I just got another BFP. I'm terrified, but hopeful. GL to us all!!

d3esika · August 2012

Sue&Pasquale:
to make a long story short, I had 3 miscarriages, they discovered a uterine septum, had surgery. Did IVF got pregnant with my son. tried to get pregnant again with out success, did IVF again. Hdd my 4th miscarriage. Now I am pregnant (almost 5 weeks) with a FET cycle.

So when I was pregnant with my son I was a barrell of nerves. I have to say I didnt enjoy the pregnancy. I just was to scared to enjoy it. But I did just take one week at a time. I would constantly say mantras over and over. I did relaxing every night to relieve the stress.

now with this pregnancy I vowed to myself to enjoy it. to savour every moment with being pregnant. take one week at a time. to think of the positives.

here are some mantras that will be helpful. I actually made copies and put them in my night stand and on my fridge, when I needed some reminders.

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

My past does not dictate my future.

A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage.

Hope does not make bad things happen.

You cannot ?jinx? your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.

Whatever path you and the baby are on, you're already on. There is nothing you can do about it now, especially worrying, to change the outcome. Try to enjoy being pregnant and celebrate your little one!

My past does not determine my future.

History does not have to repeat itself.

One day at a time.

Today I am pregnant and nothing else matters.

I am going to have this baby!

good luck ladies.

I love your mantras. I will adopt them for myself, cause as of right now, I'm pregnant, happy, and terrified!

kshrimplin · August 2012

BFP #1 ended in April with a D&C because my boby wouldn't do it naturally so I was ready to get it over with. Loss was before 6 weeks D&C was at 10.5 weeks.

I am so nervous this go around. I worry with every symptom or lack of. I had my 3rd (hopefully final) beta done yesterday afternoon and I am waiting on results, hoping for great #s. GL to us all!

gnomely · August 2012

We had our daughter, Claire, in August 2010. BFP #2 in February of '12, and we lost the pregnancy in late March. I felt that something was wrong the whole time. I didn't want to tell people, I couldn't envision the end of the pregnancy...

This time, I feel anxious--when I started to spot a bit I freaked out--but overall, I feel 'more' pregnant than last time. So, I'm positive.

Ilovebeingamom · August 2012

I think a PGAL check in would be awesome! 3 years ago I was a part of the PGAL board but change my username when I signed back on. I got pregnant the first time we tried and we lost it at 6 weeks in June 2009. We got pregnant again in July 2009 and had our sweet baby boy in April 2010. I still think about my first pregnancy...I don't think you ever forget, no matter how long ago or how far along you were. I am a nervous wreck and cannot wait until my first appointment!

mrskumie · August 2012

Third pregnancy of 2012 here. #1 ended at 8 weeks, although they (twins) stopped growing at 5 wks. #2 ended at 5 weeks. I've made it further than ever without any bleeding, so i 'm very hopeful. I've also had more symptoms with this one and that's a good thing, right Have my first appointment and u/s next Friday i'll be seven weeks *knock on wood*

I love the idea of a check-in. It seems like there are quite a few of us here and the extra support would be amazing. PGAL definitely sucks some days!

RachaelMarieB · August 2012

I had a very early miscarriage just last month. I was devastated as one of DH's good friends & his wife found out they were pregnant and were just a few weeks ahead of me. I felt like it was going to be such a reminder of what I was missing out on. But one month later here I am pregnant again. I am a little hesitant to get so excited in fear of losing this baby too. I would feel so much better if I could just find out what my hcg was at when they took blood on Monday, but I won't hear anything until tomorrow . FX it is an awesome # and I can relax a little bit. Only 3 people know about last months loss and 2 of those 3 know I am pregnant now. My dear cousin has been checking in on me every day since Monday to know how my appt went and how the results were. Bless her heart.

Congratulations to all of you ladies and I am very sorry for your losses. Praying we all have sticky babies !!

Bbelle88 · August 2012

I suffered an early loss before getting pregnant with DD, I was 5 weeks 6 days.

I'm doing okay this time around. I'm still really nervous but not nearly as bad as I was while pregnant with DD.

It's tough to not worry, ESPECIALLY when you've suffered a loss.

ThereBeDragons · August 2012

PgAL here, although I tend to stick to the infertility boards instead of the loss boards. We had a c/p that was over before we knew it existed in April 2011 with our first IVF. I never really mourned that one because it was never a real pregnancy in my head. Then we had a miscarriage with our first FET in June 2011 at 6 weeks exactly. We'd known for over a week, had ultrasound pictures, saw a flickering heartbeat and then... It was just gone.

Its been over a year though and I'm in a pretty good place in my head. Terrified of how this pregnancy will go though. I'm listening to my body more, sleeping the day away if that's what baby wants- eating nothing but bean tacos if that's what the craving is. I'm trying to revel in this pregnancy- it will be my last regardless of outcome so I might as well love my baby every day.

BeautyfromAshes · August 2012

SO good to know I'm not alone. There is comfort in numbers isn't there?

We have two kids, then had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. We then had a perfect baby girl who had a cord accident and was born at 20 weeks, then another miscarriage at 6 weeks. This pregnancy was not planned and a total shocker as I really don't know how it happened! (Obviously, I know HOW it happened! Just the timing makes no sense!)

So far I am in denial for the most part. Other than lurking on here now and then, I really have not let it sink in at all.

aeasterl0320 · August 2012

Like a few others on here, my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. It was really hard for me to deal with even though it wasn't a planned pregnancy because after a short time, I knew I wanted that baby really bad. Up until I got pregnant with my DS, I had a really hard time dealing with it. This pregnancy makes me nervous because when I found out the first time, I was due April 9th. I am now due April 9th again, so I get bad feelings that this pregnancy is going to end up the same way that one did. I know there is nothing I can do about it, and I think I'll be okay if I miscarry again, but like that first pregnancy, I really want this baby. I know we can't predict them, but I really hope that none of you ladies has to suffer through another miscarriage or stillbirth.

xxswebbxx · August 2012

I'm doing ok. I have good days and bad.

Olivia was born on April 24th at 34 weeks. She has severe PA-IVS and she only lived for about 4 hours. Aug 24th Olivia would have been 4 months. I still go to the same OB so going back to the hospital is hard sometimes. I cried leaving my appointment yesterday....I made the mistake of using the crosswalk bridge to the garage (it was raining & I usually walk outside). The last time I was in the crosswalk was when I was discharged & I had to leave without my daughter.

I feel like a crazy woman with the pregnancy. I'm so happy that we maybe blessed with our rainbow this time but then I feel guilty about being so happy about this pregnancy when I feel like I should still be morning the loss of Olivia. Then other times I feel like why get all excited about being pregnant because to me now pregnacy doesn't mean baby. I guess this feeling is why I don't want to tell anyone that we are expecting now....only my BFF (Because she figured it out when I wasn't having wine with dinner) & our parents know. I cry alot too...I dunno if its just pregnancy mood swings or if its to do with missing Olivia or because once we got out BFP I opted to stop my anxiety meds (what I was taking has been known to cause fetal heart defects & well we don't need anymore increased risk of that) after talking with my Docs.

Sending all you ladies Sticky Dust!

xxswebbxx · August 2012

ct103:
Gknauff79:

Would anyone be up for a weekly or bi-weekly PGAL check in? I saw one of my former TTCAL ladies does one for March and I thought it was a cool idea.

To the bolded; GREAT IDEA! I would love to see that happen.

I LOVE this idea!

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