Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
boogerbearoriginal
member
Re: Toddler-wearing at home
I think they like being up high, there's a lot of new things to see. It's totally okay to wear them, especially if it means you can get some stuff done and keep him happy at the same time.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I like this idea but LO doesn't lol. I don't know if it's because I work or just his personality but when I'm home he wants me interacting with him 80-90% of the time. Part of the 'problem' is he wants me to play with him, or hold his hands and do laps around the house (even though he can/will walk on his own) or he brings a book for me to read or whatever silly baby idea gets in his brain.
FWIW I hate calling it a problem, because I love playing with him and interacting, but sometimes it's tough because I need to cook dinner or whatever. I am getting more excited for him to get a touch older/physically able to do more because I think he's going to be a great helper.
I guess the bottom line is I'm struggling a bit with balancing his needs with the chores in the household. I feel like wearing him could provide the closeness he's wanting while still enabling me to get things done. But I do worry about not allowing him sufficient time to roam/explore.
Sometimes toddlers do want to be held - and they will let you know for sure when they want down! I wear my kids in the house whenever they ask to go up or when they are being fussy and want to be held but I need to get stuff done. Sometimes Eleanor will stay up for half an hour. Lots of times she wants a 10 minute snuggle on my back and then she asks for down.
I wouldn't worry about "trapping" him - he'll let you know if he's over it and there's plenty that he is "mentally exploring" while riding along with you ;-)
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
This fits us to a T.
More Green For Less Green
Is he 1 on 1 with a family member or babysiter during the day, or in a group setting? If he's 1 on 1, he may be used to his caregiver's undivided attention. My DS is with my MIL and we had some of these issues. He is also an only child, so he is the star of the show wherever he goes. He started Children's Day Out at our church and being a group setting has done him a world of good.
Most days he's with Dad or babysitter, and 1 day a week he's with Aunt and 2 cousins, and our first so he's the only one right now. I think you've keyed in on a good point, a lot of it may be that he's just accustomed to getting lots of attention.
Of course yesterday he was happily toddling around the backyard without me holding his hand. Kids, always out to prove you wrong lol. I'm hopeful that part of it is him just getting better at walking that will lead him to less need of the hand-holding too.
My only other suggestion is that sometimes you have to let things slide. My house is up to toddler standards and that is about it.
And I did not mean to suggest that wearing a toddler is wrong. My daughter just does not tolerate it and I have had to come up with other ways to occupy her when I can't just sit on the floor with her. And also I don't like the idea that babies always have to be contained to get things done.
I also think this is a great age to start thinking about the difference between needs and wants. He needs you to be close by, but he does not need you to read a story RIGHT NOW! One thing Ro likes is music. So I turn on some music while prepping dinner and she and I dance and sing along. I can do that in quick spurts while cooking at the same time. Or I just jabber away to her about what I am doing, or I play fetch with her (yes, she loves that game). She may not be getting exactly what she wants at that point, but she has my attention and she's learning at the same time.
But, if he likes to be worn, then problem solved.