February 2012 Moms

Not the little family I imagined

Yesterday SO decided that our relationship isn't going to work. As you may remember he left when I was pregnant and then came back the day DD was born. Well he admitted he hasn't been putting in the effort to make it work and he is leaving for good. 

He's been kind of sullen and negative for awhile, but I just thought he needed more time. It's hard for me to accept that he's giving up when he acknowledged that he hasn't even tried.

I'm sad for DD. If it were up to me, I feel like we should try our hardest to make this work, for her. But it's not up to me. 


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Re: Not the little family I imagined

  • Oh honey, I'm so sorry. ((hugs))
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  • Oh honey ((hugs))

    Your little girl has an amazing momma who loves her and that is all she needs.

    We are here to support you

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  • I'm so sorry.
    Pass the sheet cake.

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  • Well that's just awful. And I don't mean awful for you or baby (you know in the end you're better off if he feels this way). I mean awful for him because he cannot see how wonderful life would be with a woman who loves him and a beautiful baby to hug every day. His loss for sure. 
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  • I'm so, so sorry.  How can he look at that precious little face and want to leave?  Your daughter is lucky to have such a strong mom and you two will get through this.
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  • I'm so sorry Sad
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  • imagesparks2987:

    Oh honey ((hugs))

    Your little girl has an amazing momma who loves her and that is all she needs.

    We are here to support you

    All of this from me too.  

  • Thinking of you and sending you and baby love.
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  • I'm so sorry!  

    We're always here if you need anything.  

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  • You guys are better off without someone who doesn't want to be there, IMO. If all he's providing you with is negative energy, then let him go. It will be hard. I hope you have support where you are that can help you with LO. But as far as your SO goes, you don't someone bringing you down. I hope the love you have for your LO can fill any space in your heart that this arsehole may have left.

    Thinking about you. xoxo

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  • I'm sorry!!

    And he will be very sorry one day.

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  • I am so sorry momma! We are here if you need to talk
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  • Awww, that is terrible!! I am so sorry Hattie!! Does he not have any interest in making it work? Maybe a marriage counselor? I am sure you addressed it, but thought I would ask!
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  • Oh no, many hugs your way and like pp said its better for your lo to have happy parents than miserable ones even if its a hard choice to make.
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  • I'm so sorry :(

     
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  • Thanks everyone. Despite everything I just thought it would work out eventually, but I guess not.

    imagenaturegal79:
    Awww, that is terrible!! I am so sorry Hattie!! Does he not have any interest in making it work? Maybe a marriage counselor? I am sure you addressed it, but thought I would ask!

    We've been in counseling for a little while, but not very regularly. But he just barely talks when we're there. I don't know how he can't be interested in putting in the effort. It's probably for the best. 

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  • imageHattieLove:

    We've been in counseling for a little while, but not very regularly. But he just barely talks when we're there. I don't know how he can't be interested in putting in the effort. It's probably for the best. 

    I know it's so hard to imagine that now, especially with DD, but it just may be. If he doesn't want to work at a relationship with you, he doesn't know what he will be missing out on with your little family. So sorry, mama.


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  • I'm so sorry to hear this! You guys will be okay, and it will be his loss. Hopefully he figures out what he is missing eventually...but DD will have you to love on her.
  • imageferris0906:
    imagesparks2987:

    Oh honey ((hugs))

    Your little girl has an amazing momma who loves her and that is all she needs.

    We are here to support you

    All of this from me too.  

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  • I'm so sorry.
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  • I'm so sorry ((hugs))
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  • Oh, I'm so sorry!  SO and I are up and down all the time.  Sometimes I feel like running, but sometimes I feel like staying.  I feel like I put in way more than he does, so I can understand what you mean if he hasn't even tried.  I'm a firm believer that "staying for the kids" is not good, for anyone!  Maybe it's for the best.  Though being a single parent is not an easy task, it is "do able", and it may be what's best for you and your LO!  Reach out for help and support where you can.  Of course we're all here for moral support as well!

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  • Hattie,

     I am so very sorry for you and your DD.  You did everything that you could to make this relationship work.  My heart just hurts for you.  I'm sure it's hard to see right now but in the long run you will be happier.  It's impossible to be happy feeling like you are walking around on eggshells and trying to not let someone else's negative energy rub off on you.

    Please know that we are all here for you! 

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  • Awww ... I'm so, so sorry this is happening. Sad

    Part of me agrees that you should try to make it work, but the other part thinks it's better to just accept it and carry on.  Unfortunately, you really can't make him change his mind. He has to do it himself.  It's his huge loss and one day, he'll realize it.

    We'll be here for you, through thick and thin.  {{{{BIG HUGS}}}} 

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  • I'm so sorry to hear this.  But, I'm sure that years of stress and fighting isn't what you would want either.  I hope that you guys can find a way to work this all out in the least stressful way possible.  Sending you lots of hugs!

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  • Aw I am so sorry to hear this :( Even though it is probably for the best, I'm sure it is still hard on you. I will be thinking about you and praying for you.

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  • I am so sorry :-(  It certainly will be his loss.  I also agree with PP that sometimes, staying together for the kids is not always best.  I have a friend with a 4 year old DD who's tried to make things work with her DH for the past 5 years and they are still not happy, and they now are getting divorced, which I think is the best thing for all of them. 
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  • I'm so sorry. Lots of ((hugs))
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  • imageHattieLove:

    Yesterday SO decided that our relationship isn't going to work. As you may remember he left when I was pregnant and then came back the day DD was born. Well he admitted he hasn't been putting in the effort to make it work and he is leaving for good. 

    He's been kind of sullen and negative for awhile, but I just thought he needed more time. It's hard for me to accept that he's giving up when he acknowledged that he hasn't even tried.

    I'm sad for DD. If it were up to me, I feel like we should try our hardest to make this work, for her. But it's not up to me. 


     

    I'm not around here much anymore, but I popped in today...I am in a similar situation.  SO left when I was 5 months pregnant and since DS was born we have been trying to work on things.  If you ever need to talk to someone who is going through a very similar situation I am available.

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  • I'm so sorry ((hugs))
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  • so sorry. I know how you feel. H and I are going through a rough patch too. I know what you mean about picturing your family a certain way because that is a big reason I'm staying with him. Sending prayers to you and your LO
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  • Oh dear, I'm so sorry. ::hugs::
  • I'm so sorry, Hattie :(
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