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How well do you adoptive parents know your children's birthmothers?

greenteabeegreenteabee member
in Adoption

^^

Would you say you're close, friends, acquaintances, or strangers? 

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Re: How well do you adoptive parents know your children's birthmothers?

  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    We're somewhere between close and friends.  I truly consider her family.  We talk quite a bit, get together every 3-4 months or so, share big moments (like her graduation and birthdays - hers and our daughters), etc.  We love her very much. 

    Our daughter is almost 3, so it's a relationship that has grown over time.

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  • silliestbunnysilliestbunny member

    DD1-  we have sadly never met but I would drive hours to meet her when/if she wants to at some point.   I wish she was at a place to get to know my daughter.   I can start crying just typing this out... but DD1 is just a fantastic little girl... she's so bright and funny (today she took an altoid and put it on her sister's head and called it a little hat... funny to me!)  I want BM to be proud of the decisions and of her birth daughter.  I don't even know DD1's BM but I am so proud of her... she made the decision so she could pursue her college education, keep on track, etc.  It's super weird to feel so strongly... to love someone... yet I don't even know what she actually looks like!!  PS-  We do see and keep in contact w/Birth grandpa which is fantastic.

     DD2-  I feel like we were closer than acquaintances.... I saw myself more as a big sis/mentor type.  She'd talk about her issues w/family and friends.  I'd offer advice.  We'd laugh.  We enjoyed each other's company.... I really enjoy her personality.  Unfortunately life's shifted so it's just letter writing for a few years... but we still write and "get each other".    FWIW-  We just got back from our summer vacation.  We spent two extra days/nights travelling so we could see birth grandma for DD2.  It was great... special... and just what we all needed.  Birth GMa was against adoption but she's come full circle seeing how it can work well.  She said, "I was so worried that I'd lose my granddaughter.  I never knew that adoption could be like this... where I get to see her grow up in pictures, where I can text you if I want.... where you'll come and visit us."  

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
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  • steph196steph196 member
    We are very close. She and her family are part of our family and we love them all. We test daily and see each other every 2-3 weeks. She comes to me for advice and confides in me. 
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    Acquaintances. We update a blog for her regularly, and we see her 2x/year. We exchange occasional notes and acknowledge her birthday.
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  • House of LovelockHouse of Lovelock
    Strangers. For the moment. She isn't ready for a relationship yet, so we just send updates & photos to the agency so she can collect them when she is ready.  We even have her address, but she wouldn't want us to use it.  I really hoping that someday she will want to meet us, but until then...
    < img width=450 src="http://alturl.com/b76m9" border="0" /> Wife to Joel. Mommy to Jude, Zara, Cruz + Ever. Adopting #5 & Enjoying life in Southern California. www.houseoflovelock.com
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    I would say we r close, like she is a cousin or something. I love her dearly.her though we are at different maturity levels so I def know her better than she knows me.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • kmkaull2kmkaull2 member
    imageArt Teacher:

    We're somewhere between close and friends.  I truly consider her family.  We talk quite a bit, get together every 3-4 months or so, share big moments (like her graduation and birthdays - hers and our daughters), etc.  We love her very much. 

    Our daughter is almost 3, so it's a relationship that has grown over time.

    We have a very similar relationship.  We spent a weekend with her extended family at a lake house recently.  Our relationship with our son's birth family is one of the great blessings in our life.

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  • firecracker8firecracker8 member
    I would say we are friends. We chat every few week and text awesome. I live in a different state, but she lives where my parents do, so I visit and see her often. I try to not make it a relationship where she will confide in me and tell me about her problems. We are almost the same age but we are light years away when it comes to maturity and she is somewhat emotionally unstable. I don't think that a super close relationship would be healthy for us right now. She is super sweet and I absolutely adore her though!
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  • Julie721Julie721 member

    I would say close friends except more like family. We text frequently and call sometimes and have done one visit since we brought DS home. I talk to her more than I talk to my sister, who lives in another state.

    If you are hoping for an open situation where you are good friends (at least), you should be able to find that. I have heard many situations where the BM just "knew" it was the right couple because of how well they clicked.

    imageimageimageDaisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers November 2011: after nearly two years of infertility, we are moving on to domestic infant adoption. February 2012: Matched! May 2012: Placed with our son!
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  • so1966so1966
    we had a closed adoption. if my LO wants to meet up with her in the future, i'd be open to it, of course. i think of her often.
    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
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