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Baby Names
Advice on MIL MN drama?
So, DH shares a MN with his father and grandfather. The MN is Thomas, which is a perfectly fine name, but I just do not care for it. While DH would love if we used Thomas, he understands that it's our child and that we should both like the name. Even though we've both (especially DH) explained our stance to MIL, she still will not let up and now my BIL (DH's brother) won't let up on it either.
Any advice? We're leaning towards the names Liam, Owen, Henry, or Logan, which all sound fine with Thomas, but I just don't like the name. I just want MIL to accept this and move on, but she feels like I'm not "respecting" their family. DH has tried to talk to her multiple times.
Thank you! 
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Re: Advice on MIL MN drama?
I dont understand why people can't let people name their OWN BABIES! They had their chance to name their babies, they need to move on! This annoys the you know what out of me!!!
& again....this is yeat another reason I do not do family names.
Natural M/C at 7 weeks 9.17.08 Natural M/C at 7 weeks 2.1.13
Thank you so much everyone! This makes me feel so much better! From all the backlash we've been getting, I was starting to wonder if I was being insensitive or something!
It's funny, she says stuff like "I know it's not our baby and we had our chance to name two boys..." but then there is always a giant "BUT..." at the end where she adds whatever reason she can to try to make us feel guilty, lol.
Thank you again!
It's your and DH's baby not hers! If you really have something against the name then don't use it! It's that simple.
That being said you rarely use or even hear the mn.. IMO.. so if it becomes that huge of a deal and you decide to give her what she wants at least it's the mn.
I feel like there should be some sort of PSA for grandparents on this issue. Maybe we can get AARP to write a feature in their magazine.
OP ? Please be firm and direct w/ your MIL. Tell her that she needs to respect the integrity of your new family and that this is the last time you will speak of it.
Is your baby getting your husband's surname? If so, you might want to bring that up ? he will have the family name. If I were in your position, I'd tell MIL that I'd be happy to use Thomas as a mn as long as you get to choose a different surname (maybe your maiden name, maybe something totally new).
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So far we don't have a definitive MN, but I was thinking of possibly using Joseph for my grandfather who just passed away.
Hahaha I totally agree about the PSA!
The baby is definitely getting his surname. I took his when we got married completely by choice, but I know if I hadn't, MIL would've thrown a fit about that too! Haha I absolutely love your suggestion to say that I'd be happy to use the MN if I can use a different surname. That is great and might actually get her to let it go!
Wow...not talking to you? That's nuts! Congratulations though! She is beautiful, and I absolutely love the name Amelia! Thank you for the advice and relaying your story...it really makes me feel better about standing up to her!
Option A: tell your Mil to buy a gold fish if she wants to name something
Option B: tell Mil that you're saving the MN Thomas for Bil since it obviously means more to him
Option C: tell your Mil, Bil, and everyone else that talking baby names is not a convo you're willing to have. Say you've already decided on a name and you will announce it when you are ready. (Even if its a lie, it'll shut them up!)
My Fil cried when he found out our child would not have his name. Ridiculousness!! I do not regret not using his name AT ALL. Name your baby what you and Dh love!
Thank you so much! This is great advice! I especially like option 1! Lol
I'd understand why your MIL would be hurt if you didn't use the name; I know I'd be hurt too. However, after it has been said once, maybe twice, it is time for people to button their lips especially if your DH is on board.
Otherwise, no advice other than what has already been said.
I agree with PP that your MIL doesn't get a say, but if it's important to your DH I say you need to do it. It's just a middle name and won't be used often, and also agreeing to it might give you more say over the first name.
Exactly. Plus, baby is likely getting DH's last name, right? I don't think it's right for anyone to command you to name your child something. This is your child, not hers.
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
In our case, Alex is named after my recently deceased maternal grandfather-- his MN is my grandfather's first name. DH wasn't thrilled with it, but he recognized that Alex will almost never use his MN.
My SIL gave me a list of names I'm "not allowed" to use for future children, since she has "claimed" them. I'll name my children what I want to name them.
If I were you? I'd make it very clear to your ILs that your son's name is not a topic for discussion. Frankly, it's none of their business what you name him, whether it's Thomas, Edward, or Engelbert.