Pregnant after a Loss

Today I am pregnant.. And I feel....

Nothing. It's terrible and yet I just can't seem to kick this feeling. I mean I have some symptoms and soreness but I just feel like it's not happening. My parents are anxious to spread the good word and I just don't feel happy enough to even consider it. Any thoughts on how to break this funk? Sorry to rant.. I just don't know who else I can say this to.
"If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!

Re: Today I am pregnant.. And I feel....

  • Hugs. I'm so mixed about how we're going to handle that. I am seriously considering just waiting until people flat out ask. Even with my ILs. I just don't feel like announcing it. It's hard. Hugs.
    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

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  • I felt the same way. Its amazing how fast you get used to the little symptoms.  I stressed every minute until 13 weeks and then I gave myself "permission" to tell people and enjoy even though I still wasn't relaxed about it.  That seems to have helped me focus on the fun stuff.

    Even now at nearlly 20 weeks, I dont feel that different. (This is a first so I dont know what to compare it to)

    Don't stress - it will happen for you and you can share the news whenever you are ready.

    BabyFruit Ticker It's a Girl!
  • Focus on yourself and your LO. Be thankful for everyday that LO grows and even more thankful that LO is so nice to you and isn't making you sick.

     I had plenty of freakout days, but then remembered that no symptoms also meant no cramping or spotting, which is cause for celebration each and every day. We didn't tell ANYONE until 14 weeks...so don't let anyone rush you into it. It's a difficult time - lots of ups and downs. Hang in there!!! T&P!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Anniversary
  • imagebig_noise:
    Hugs. I'm so mixed about how we're going to handle that. I am seriously considering just waiting until people flat out ask. Even with my ILs. I just don't feel like announcing it. It's hard. Hugs.

    I was totally considering waiting until I was showing and letting people ask. But I had to tell my parents and they told my sisters. So then to be fair we told DH's mother. Now my grandmother is sick and my parents think I should tell her just in case... I am just so torn. I want to tell everyone but being that I don't feel pregnant it is just really hard to do...

    "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!
  • imagebklynbmp:

    I felt the same way. Its amazing how fast you get used to the little symptoms.  I stressed every minute until 13 weeks and then I gave myself "permission" to tell people and enjoy even though I still wasn't relaxed about it.  That seems to have helped me focus on the fun stuff.

    Even now at nearlly 20 weeks, I dont feel that different. (This is a first so I dont know what to compare it to)

    Don't stress - it will happen for you and you can share the news whenever you are ready.

    Thanks.. Hopefully I am just used to the symptoms..

    "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!
  • I agree with the ladies above...don't let anyone pressure you.  My parents and in-laws are anxious too, but I keep telling them that it will be in time.  Maybe next week?  Maybe the following?  I don't know.  But you do it when it feels right to YOU.  That is the only way that you will feel comfortable.  Do something nice for yourself and try to forget about the pressure - that only makes you more anxious!  T&P's with you!

     

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  • Thank you ladies.. You are all amazing and I'm so lucky to have this board!
    "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!
  • imageastarisborn:

    I agree with the ladies above...don't let anyone pressure you.  My parents and in-laws are anxious too, but I keep telling them that it will be in time.  Maybe next week?  Maybe the following?  I don't know.  But you do it when it feels right to YOU.  That is the only way that you will feel comfortable.  Do something nice for yourself and try to forget about the pressure - that only makes you more anxious!  T&P's with you!


     

    Thanks! I am so tired of hearing about how I'm hiding the pregnancy. I mean really people. It's so early... I think I am in need of some serious retail therapy...

    "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!
  • I am only like, 30 seconds pregnant right now. But the idea of telling people makes me want to puke! I personally don't want to tell EVEN FAMILY until we see a healthy heartbeat, but I'm not sure my DH could handle that. We definitely need to wait until all betas are looking good, at least we agree on that.

    Don't let anybody pressure you into announcing too soon, even to your grandmother. I understand your parents' point of wanting to make her smile while she is ill, but it's also important to not put added anxiety on YOU. If, heaven forbid, she does pass away before you tell her, she will definitely be watching over you and your LO.

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  • Hugs sweetie.  I still struggle with this - it's pretty normal I think!  Email or text me if you want to chat :)
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • ((Hugs)) I was the same and I think many of us have gone through that. Its definitely hard and a daily battle but it will get better each day. Hang in there hon.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • As time goes by, you will start to get excited. For me, the NT scan was a big deal...because I finally got to see our baby moving around, kicking her legs! Then a few weeks after that I could hear her often with our Doppler, then I could feel her, and then our a/s scan we got to see her again. I think all of these things help you bond, and will come soon for you. However you do feel is ok, so don't stress over that.
    m/c March 2009 @ 5 weeks ~ m/c June 2009 @ 10 weeks ~ m/c February 2012 @ 4.5 weeks Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I am almost 19 weeks and I am just barely starting to actually feel pregnant. I heard the heartbeat on Monday which was exciting and reassuring, but most days I still don't really feel all that different or anything. 

    And I still haven't told anyone yet! (Except my parents and DH's parents). I guess I will tell people when my belly starts to get big, which it kind of is, so either people are just being polite or they think I'm just fat?

    Sometimes I think PGAL brain just makes us feel so cautious and reluctant to actually feel and enjoy the pregnancy sometimes...at least I think it's that way for me. Unfortunate, but reality. I just keep taking one day at a time!

    Hugs! 

     

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  • I wouldn't be pressured into it but if you feel up to it, you could tell your grandmother.

    I should add that my immediate family knows and my boss knows. However, they have all been my rock and my support system during all of this m/c stuff, cycle issues, etc. They all knew it was possible and they all know it's one day at a time and they shouldn't get ahead of themselves like we aren't. Unfortunately, my ILs will have to wait, since MIL told the entire world about my m/c in Dec. She doesn't know about the 2nd one.

    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

  • imagebig_noise:

    I wouldn't be pressured into it but if you feel up to it, you could tell your grandmother.

    I should add that my immediate family knows and my boss knows. However, they have all been my rock and my support system during all of this m/c stuff, cycle issues, etc. They all knew it was possible and they all know it's one day at a time and they shouldn't get ahead of themselves like we aren't. Unfortunately, my ILs will have to wait, since MIL told the entire world about my m/c in Dec. She doesn't know about the 2nd one.


    This is exactly what I am feeling. I am just going to tell family. We have a close family and I know they would be supportive if something happened. Thanks for sharing.

    "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again." Anniversary Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker Stick Baby Stick!
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