TTC after 35

Broke down at the beach yesterday....

Breaking down meaning sobs..not the car :)

Yesterday was a gorgeous day so I took the girls to the same beach we always go to. I set up my chair and started to read my book when wham...giant tears just started rolling down my face. I was in a good mood..not even thinking about babies or anything even as kids were all around me! I realize maybe my mind remembered that this week last yr when I had my breakdown with the text from my friend with her BFP? It's funny how that is. I thought about it last week prior to this trip but didn't think I would actually cry when I'm here!

So that kinda ruined the breezy picture perfect day. Then that made we actually see how many kids were on the beach making sandcastles and screaming as they get their toes wet in the cold water. Then I cried more for all you ladies!

Anyway I don't want this to be a sad post. The rest of the day was great because I hardly saw my boss and her gang :) Took the girls out for dinner and I got lost...as usual. Atleast I bring laughs to 15 yr olds...haahaa

I hope today is a good day for everyone!!

ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


 

 

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Re: Broke down at the beach yesterday....

  • I'm sorry, honey.  I hate how tears just come out of nowhere sometimes.  It sounds like a beautiful beach day otherwise and I hope you can enjoy the rest of your vacation / work.  Bury your toes in the sand and enjoy a good book for me please.  
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  • I don't know how our brains/bodies make the connections we make and what controls when they overflow... I just know it's inconvenient! LOL

    I'm sorry you had a breakdown, but I hope it helped let some of the frustration and sadness out so that you can continue to enjoy getting lost on the way to dinner. It sounds like your work vacation is actually turning into kind of an enjoyable trip! 

    ((hugs))

    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a2798" style="font-size:smaller;" >
    <br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>

  • I think breakdowns are okay, although I'm sorry you are feeling blue.  I hope the sun and sand helped put a smile on your face!
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  • Yes this trip is alot better from previous years! Maybe I matured...haahaaha. THe less I see my boss the better.

    I will have to say that I was really spooked last night when we got home. Everyone was still out and the one door leading to the patio and pool was wide open! No one ever locks their doors up here! I made the one girl walk out to the guest house with me (so dark...no one believes in lights up here) to grab the boy's towels. Gave me the creeps all night thinking someone was hiding in this house going to grab me and I'm a goner!!

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • imageowlprof:
    I think breakdowns are okay, although I'm sorry you are feeling blue.  I hope the sun and sand helped put a smile on your face!
    Thanks but I'm all better now :) Only lasted at the beach! What's NOT putting a smile on my face is how much I am eating up here!!

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • imageBeckyP005:

    Yes this trip is alot better from previous years! Maybe I matured...haahaaha. THe less I see my boss the better.

    I will have to say that I was really spooked last night when we got home. Everyone was still out and the one door leading to the patio and pool was wide open! No one ever locks their doors up here! I made the one girl walk out to the guest house with me (so dark...no one believes in lights up here) to grab the boy's towels. Gave me the creeps all night thinking someone was hiding in this house going to grab me and I'm a goner!!

    Hugs for yesterday. It can hit you from nowhere..

    When was the last murder on Nantucket?  Maybe we can start our own series of Nantucket books that are murder mysteries!! LOL

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • imageMrs.McIrish:
    imageBeckyP005:

    Yes this trip is alot better from previous years! Maybe I matured...haahaaha. THe less I see my boss the better.

    I will have to say that I was really spooked last night when we got home. Everyone was still out and the one door leading to the patio and pool was wide open! No one ever locks their doors up here! I made the one girl walk out to the guest house with me (so dark...no one believes in lights up here) to grab the boy's towels. Gave me the creeps all night thinking someone was hiding in this house going to grab me and I'm a goner!!

    Haahaa heck why not. You already have a child-free housing community in the works BUT I am thinking you will not need to live in it :) Positive thinking only!!

    Hugs for yesterday. It can hit you from nowhere..

    When was the last murder on Nantucket?  Maybe we can start our own series of Nantucket books that are murder mysteries!! LOL

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • WTH did I do? haha my response is in your response...:)

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



  • imageBeckyP005:
    WTH did I do? haha my response is in your response...:)
    I figured out your response, lol. I guess I do have several "projects in the works"!!

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • Break downs are your brains way of recharging I think... we go for so long being strong and then all of the sudden we are a complete mess.  You can only be strong for so long I think.  Hugs.
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
  • I think we all break down at some point :(  It sounds like you recovered nicely - and I have to say I'm absolutely green with envy about your work/vacation trip hope you get lots of time to decompress by the beach :) and that your boss stays far away ;)

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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