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Infertility Veterans
RFBsbride
member
Stupid things people say...
RFBsbride
member
I just can't believe some of the things people say to make someone "feel better".
I'm coming up on the two month mark since my m/c and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I am going t be cycling again in 2 weeks and I have absolutely no excitement about like I have in the past because I'm terrified that I will m/c again.
DH and I have been sporadically telling people about our m/c as we see necessary. This weekend I played golf with a girlfriend of mine - a girlfriend with 2 kids who she had absolutely no problem conceiving - and I told her about my m/c. Her response? "Oh my God! That's great! That means you can get pregnant!"
Uhm...what? I said " What? I said I lost the baby, I'm not pregnant anymore.". She went on to say its great that I can get pregnant and now I just need to "work on" staying pregnant.
I fought back the tears and just changed the subject... She doesn't get it...most people don't get it.
A coworker of mine, when she found out about my m/c said "Oh, I has one 25 years ago...it's really not a big deal.". Excuse me? After trying to get pregnant for six nada half years and FINALLY getting pregnant only to have it end in my toilet after just 8 weeks...yeah, I think that's a big deal!!!!
Some people are so effing stupid!!!!
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Re: Stupid things people say...
Sorry you're having to go through that. It's pretty incredible what a little bit of compassion or a simple "I'm sorry" would do, but people tend to negate the fears and worries of others.
At least you know which people to avoid anything but the superficial with.
((hugs))
I'm sorry people can be so obtuse. Huge hugs!
::hugs::
7 IUIs = All BFNs
2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN
2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
May IVF #3 = c/p
June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
July FET #2 = BFN
Aug FET #3 = BFN
Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
Dec FET #4 = BFN
2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
Sept FET #6 = TBD
**PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
TTC since October 2008
IVF/ICSI #1 12/7/2011 = BFN
IVF/ICSI #2 1/31/2012 = BFN
IVF/ICSI #3 March 2013 Cancelled
IVF/ICSI #4 5/30/2013 = BFP
EDD 2/5/2014. Baby Girl Born 1/21/2014
FET #1 1/29/2016 = BFN
IVF/ICSI #5 11/10/2017 = All Freeze. Not able to access one ovary
FET #2 4/10/2018 = BFN
FET #3 11/10/2018 = BFP - Miscarriage
IVF/ICSI #6 3/17/2019 = All Freeze. PGT
FET #4 9/10/2019 = BFP
**PAIF/SAIFW ALWAYS WELCOMED**
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
(((hugs)))
If there is one thing I've learned, it's that so many people really just don't get it. I'm sorry you had to hear such hurtful things...
TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
IVF Consultation, More Testing
Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
EDD: May 16, 2013
Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
Finally released from RE at 13w
~~ My IF Blog ~~
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Yuck!!! Major (((hugs)))!
Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures
2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN
12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue
1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13
PAIF/SAIF very welcome!
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
People really do suck sometimes!
big (((hugs)))
TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
Clomid/Femara no "O"
IVF #1 BFN
FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
my blog
People can be such idiots-I've had so many people say, well, at least you know you can get pregnant-so that must be a relief. Hearing that doesn't make me feel better at all. A) there are no guarantees I will get pregnant again and
getting pregnant does me no good if I can't stay pregnant. Idiots. HUGS!!!
TTC since 5/2010
DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate
IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
BFP! 11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13
5/31/2013- My miracles arrived at 34w2d! Welcome to the world Harper and Nolan!
My Blog- http://waitingonaangel.wordpress.com/
After more than 2 years of fertility treatments, FET did the trick!
IVF March 2012 - BFP! - Severe OHSS = 8 days in the hospital in kidney failure
No heartbeat at 10w6d
FET August 27,2012 = BFP!
It's a boy!
My Blog - 3 Dogs, No Baby
TTC#1 since October 2010
"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap." Mary Anne Radmacher
Me:35, 5 major abdominal surgeries for Ulcerative colitis, failed j pouch, perm. Ileostomy DX-DOR & Tubal abnormalities/Extensive Adhesions from earlier surgeries.latest fsh -26
IVF 1- March 2012 Antagonist Protocol; BCP until March 3; AFC this cycle is 10 (Hooray); Start stims on March 9; ER on March 19- 2R; 2T (1 perfect 8 cell, 1 scrappy 3 cell); tubal infection from ER-hospitalized. Doomed! BFN
Essure Procedure to treat bilateral hydrosalpinx; June 2012, wait 3 months for confirmation test.
IVF2 (Egg Banking)-letrozole/antagonist cycle; June/July 2012 225iu merional + cetrotide; slow responder, Ovulated before ER. Unbelievable. Canceled remaining cycles with my eggs
DE IVF in Brno, Czech. Approx. ET on Oct 6 CANCELLED-Essure didn't close both tubes-test again in 3 months
IVF3-DE IVF ET on Dec 9, 2012 (decided to roll the dice no matter what!)
2 perfect HB transferred; 8dp5dt beta:36; 10dp5dt beta 15; chemical pregnancy.
Turning our hearts toward adoption
DH:36, SA-perfect
Married since July 11, 2009
Fur baby Cairn Terrier
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
I feel like the first lesson we learned in life was to think before you speak. It blows me away that grown adults are incapable of remembering the courtesy basics. Big hugs pretty lady.
Countless BFN(s)
Moving to IVF
IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy
Pressing Forward
IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN
FET. 2TFR'ed.
Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
Where do we go from here?
Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
Finally some (tough) answers.
IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!
Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224!
1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats! Overjoyed!
::: Married June 2003:::
TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
IVF# 4= c/p
***CCRM ODWU***
Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
***New RE***
DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture.
IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015
http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!
Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
PAIF/SAIF always welcome
DH: Severe MFI/Azoo Me: Compound heterozygous MTHFR
IVF #1= m/c- methotrexate @6w2d
FET #1= BFN
IVF #2= m/c- D&C @8w5d
IVF #3= Beta #1 9dp5dt= 252, Beta #2 11dp5dt= 417, Beta #3 17dp5dt= 4,952
US #2 @ 7w2d= twins, baby B measuring behind
US #3 @ 8w5d= Baby A doing well, no HR in baby B
*S/PAIF always welcome*
I am so so sorry, people can be truly idiotic and so stupidly hurtful.