Trying again . . (sigh)

princesa2423 · August 2012

So STBXH wants to settle things outside of court, namely CS, custody and visitation.

Now I don't mind making our own visitation arrangements, but in terms of CS, since I'm on welfare for now (still looking for work to no avail ::sigh::), I doubt there is any way to do that on our own (not like I'd want to!) However, right now we have to wait until the results of his psychiatric eval to even determine what kind of visitation arrangements we can make, because right now they all have to be supervised, and finding a supervisor can be rough sometimes.

I guess I'm just wondering, has anyone else had success without a CO for visitation? I plan on putting everything in writing and having it notarized, I just want to make sure this time it will work because I've tried feverishly before, and to no avail, he wouldn't agree to anything. Now that a judge stepped in, it seems he wants to be more flexible. I guess he's as tired of court as I am.

As always, any and all tips are welcome. You all have been extremely helpful and patient lol, along the way in this divorce stuff, and I thank you all in advance.

FyreFlyeRush · August 2012

My ex (DD) and I don't have a CO for visitation. It took a LONG time, but we do fine. Occasionally, we'll get into it about the lack of one, but its almost always a miscommunication problem. We've tried to keep one, but schedules just don't mesh.

KTdidit · August 2012

My XH and I don't have a written agreement and it is HELL. Our divorce decree states that he has "frequent and consistent" visitation because in the beginning we could agree. He was living in the area and had a set work schedule so things were fine. Now he has moved over an hour away and it isn't as easy as it was. I'm wishing that we would have put something concrete in place.

DaringMiss · August 2012

As tempting as it is to just try to come up with one between the two of you, it makes sense to work with legal advice. While you guys may be able to arrive at an agreement now, you may not anticipate all of the things that may come up 5 or 10 years down the road. You wouldn't want to pen yourselves into something that doesn't work anymore. A family law attorney has handled dozens if not hundreds of agreements and can write one for you that gives you plenty of protection and flexibility.

LightTouch · August 2012

As someone that has tried the "nice" route and not doing CS or CO legally....DON'T DO THAT TO YOURSELF, you will pay for it later.

I got screwed on the CS "agreement" i.e., he just decided to stop paying without notice. So guess what...I filed with the state, it is sucked out of his check each pay, no if's, ands or buts.

They always seem more flexible when the court in involved...always. Stick to it, get it legal. (BTW getting something notorized isn't worth the paper it is on. Just means someone watched you sign something, it isn't legally binding)

fauxshelley · August 2012

Always get a CO, and always have the cs set up by the court. This way, everything will be done fairly, for both parties.

lovemarriagebabydivorce · August 2012

As tempting as it may be to be "nice," outside of court, I don't reccomend it. You need that CO to CYA in the long haul. Remember, you're not just doing this for yourself, you're doing this for your baby. You are his advocate. Get everything in writing and legalized.

lilhockeygurlMOM · August 2012

I would be careful doing CS outta court. He most likely will try to go as low as possible. If you go through the courts they have something set on how much he makes and what he owes and also its written paperwork and through the courts so he has to pay it....he can't flake fyi. Without courts he doesn't have to pay.

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Trying again . . (sigh)

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