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May 2012 Moms
janiem1120
member
Taking Baby Out
janiem1120
member
I am usually a lurker, especially since I have been back to work (yay for bump time at least LOL) but I have a question for you ladies.
Maya was an early May baby so she is three months old. We do get out with her, but a lot of times it isn't for a very long time because she is so interested in what is going on she won't nap well and hates being in her car seat. My family (whom I usually go out to lunch/breakfast with) on the weekends has commented on it like they can't believe I can't sit around a restaraunt for 2 hours with her or go out to dinner at 7pm at night. And now my husband is out of town and my girlfriends (who don't have kids) wanted to do something this week and I asked if they could just come over because she is soo tired after daycare. They agreed, but now want to do it at like 7 and the order pizza. I give her a bath at 8:30 and in bed by 9 every night and that doesn't leave much time.
I now this just sounds like babbling, but I feel like during the week I get very limited time with her and I don't want her schedule messed up. But the way people are reacting to how long and how often we take her out has me thinking if I am doing something wrong? I got to take her out more when I was off work obviously because I had the whole day, but now we mostly do stuff on the weekends. Am I being "that mom"? Is anyone else running into this?
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Re: Taking Baby Out
Thank you! Every now and then I have been catching a bought of crazy with this parenting stuff LOL
Had it been family coming I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but I didn't even think of that as an option with the girls! LOL They are some I don't see super often so we aren't super close, but I can at least throw the option out.
The best thing to happen to my social life is my daughter learning to take naps in the car seat while it's not in the car. When I go to a multi-hour family gathering, hanging out at a friend's house, or bridal/baby shower (seen to have been to a ton of those lately) and she needs to nap, I excuse myself to a quiet room, put her in the car seat and turn on the portable white noise machine ($10 at Target, my favorite baby product!) and rock her to sleep. It works really well for us. The car seat is a great napping spot because it goes with us everywhere anyway, and it's a familiar spot to her no matter where we are. She used to hate it too, but putting her in it and rocking her at home helped that.
This. The more you go out and do stuff, the more flexible they become. The more you coddle to their "schedule", the more high maintenance they become. We drag DD everywhere, and if it happens to be during naptime, then she naps in her stroller/carseat. Our lives didn't come to a screeching halt just because we had a baby. That's not to say that we don't have some routines (night time, morning, etc), but those aren't set in stone either. Sometimes things come up/people come over, and we adapt and overcome.
The problem usually lies when it a noisy place where there is no quiet area to retreat too. If there is stuff going on around her she wants to be sitting up and looking around to see it all. Don't get me wrong I have gone out for hours with her, but it usually ends up with her napping like crap, eating like crap because she is overly tired, and then ending with a melt down when we do finally get home.
I don't keep it super quiet in the house when I am home and she is sleeping, I can clean, vacuum, tv on, whatever, but if the place is different she ends up fighting a nap. Even at daycare she is starting to get used to napping there, but didn't do so hot the first few days because she wanted to check everything out. Even trying to feed her out becomes a hassle because she wants to look around so much she pushes away the bottle LOL.
And PotomacSt thank you for the suggestion on rocking her in the car seat at home I will try that!
I'm sorry my thoughts were a little jumbled this morning and I don't think I worded anything very well. I was complaining about two different things and the girlfriends issue is more because one of the girls just gets on my nerves to no end, the rest I would love to see.
We don't sit at home day after day never taking her out to get used to new sites and sounds. I do like to keep her on a schedule at night and that is really the only thing I won't bend on. It just seems like one she is out and gets fussy and tired not much works to get her soothed when out. I just didn't know if I am the only one who has a baby who gets fussy out and about?
I feel the exact same way. I know that my lo does best when she is at home and gets her naps in. It is important to me that she gets her sleep, they do so much growing! She is a TOTALLY different baby if the routine changes. A few times we have been gone all day, at a family reunion or visiting, and she never naps well elsewhere... and it means she will be WAY CRANKY for the rest of the night. I told my husband a few days ago that taking her out for a long length of time is totally not worth the crabbiness! So if we do take her out for more than a few hours, we try to do it at the end of the day. Could you invite your family over to your place??
Edit: My lo takes one long nap a day, and we definately try to be home for that nap. I wouldn't like napping in a crowded restaurant!
BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
Thank you ladies I am glad I am not the only. She is still taking a few naps during the day and up for about an hour and half between so it can make it a little tricky. I know once she gets a little older with less naps or more time in between it will make it easier, just for now this is how we work.
His sister has young ones too so they are very understanding and usually we do stuff at their house or they come to our house, but my family seems to forget what babies can be like and none of them ever come over unless it is a holiday and I am doing the dinner/lunch for it. They always say they want to see her, but that is a whole other complaint. LOL Thank you again it makes me feel relieved to know we aren't the odd ones out.
I may be totally off base here, but it sounds like baby gets over stimulated and tries to keep herself up because she's too excited about the new environment/people? Our LO does this, but we just keep taking her out and she's getting used to it now that there will still be fun things to look at when she's awake. We have an uppababy and we moved her to the stroller (w infant insert) because she hates her car seat - this has done wonders for us. She gets to look around, she's elevated, not all squished up in her seat, and so she'll stretch out and go to sleep if she's tired. If I see her start to look drowsy, I pull the canopy up and throw a light A+A blanket over the front and give her her paci so there's not too much to look at. It really helps, especially with the motion of the stroller.
I don't think it's a big deal to want to stick to a routine. But from previous experience it will make a world of difference to your life if you try and get baby to nap or sleep almost anywhere.
Also it really is OK to skip routine once in awhile. In fact with both my girls it's really good. With my first when I was so strict she got to be a bit high maintenance. When we mix up little things in the routine every now and then its not the end of the world. Kids are really adjustable, and much more flexible then you think.
Hope you find something that works for you, that is really what matters most!
My Blog on PPD and life in general**
I know schedules work really well for some of my friends with babies (some follow very rigid schedules, like a bath on x, y and z day of the week, and if we invite them out on bath night, they have to decline), but I have to say that I'm more on board with this. Having a baby that is adaptable and flexible just feels natural to me, even as a first time mom. I don't judge those that keep regimented schedules, but for me, I like to think that the baby will be an extension of our family, and we like doing things and being social
Find out what works for you. You could always try to add a little flexibility into your schedule to get out of your comfort zone, and just see how it feels. Maybe it won't work, but maybe it will and you might find that keeping up with, and making time for friends doesn't mean you have to neglect baby, and it might just help keep you sanity all around 