Stupid Question...but I'm a FTM, so don't judge.

bezbenak · August 2012

I'm pretty sure this is a stupid question...but, what is a "birth plan"? I was thinking a person just goes into this and says to their partner, "ok, I don't want an epidural, my body was made to do this, but I reserve the right to change my mind, and I only want a cesarean if it is absolutely necessary". So I guess I'm unsure of what else a birth plan would be. My plan is...I hope it doesn't hurt too bad for too long and I hope I don't poop (sorry, I know that's graffic but that's my biggest birth fear).

JBos82 · August 2012

I haven't done too much birth plan research, but I believe my doctor gave me a sheet to fill out to have ready for the hospital so they know my wishes. I know I don't want pitocin and that I want to try without an epidural, but I reserve the right to change my mind. I also want to avoid c-section unless it's absolutely necessary. I want to have this written out so that if for some reason I'm a big mess when the time comes, my husband or doctor will know my wishes and we can start from there, and if things change, they change.

Don't worry about pooping. Almost every woman does it when giving birth. You won't even know it happened. Every doctor and nurse who has been in on a delivery has seen it, and they'll immediately clean you so don't worry about it. Everybody poops. Nothing to be afraid of.

InspectorSpacetime · August 2012

Honestly, most of it gets tossed out the window (at least in my experience, and that of most of my friends) - you can certainly go in with preferences, but you really just have to go with the flow. Nurses will think it highly entertaining if you come in with a detailed birth plan - the parody one on McSweeney's a few months ago is actually not far off the mark in some cases.

My plan included using the birth center (which the hospital suddenly closed about a week before my due date), no drugs, soft lighting and the like - in real life, I ended up needing to be induced, had an epidural that never worked, needed a lot of emergency interventions - anything can happen.

mommy7292011 · August 2012

Your birth plan is basically your "ideal" delivery, including if you want the baby on your chest after delivery, if it is boy if you want them circumcised or not, if you want to nurse right away, what type (if any at all) of pain relief do you want, who you want to cut the cord...everything you can imagine. I kind of laughed when my OB gave me a sheet of paper and said to think about it and write everything down. I said mine plan was simple and didn't want to write down all the details... I wanted to delivery vaginally, potentially have an epidural and I want the baby on my chest after delivery. What actually happens can be completely different though, so you should try to keep an open mind just in case it does not go as you planned. In most cases, everyone tries to respect your birth plan and follow it as closely as possible.

bezbenak · August 2012

Thank you Ladies! I guess I was assuming that simple things don't have to be written down. But it makes sense. I really have no idea what kind of shape I will be in, nor my partner, so it will be important to have it written down for him also. Do you really have to specify that you want the baby immediately placed on your chest? I guess I'm seeing that a lot of things shouldn't be automatic assumptions!

emizer · August 2012

I had discussed with my Dr. beforehand the few things I wanted specifically. I said I wanted to try with no meds, I wanted to be able to walk around and labor, I wanted to try and nurse right away. I never wrote anything down so when I got to the hospital they asked me similar questions as we went along. Things went smoothly for me with nothing written down but I could see how it's important if you aren't able to answer their questions. If they don't know the answer they will ask you so don't feel like if you miss something you're screwed!

eddy92482 · August 2012

I know someone posted that a lot of nurse's find it humorous when patient's come in with a birth plan. I used to be a labor and delivery nurse and I WAS one of those nurses. But in my defense, I will say our hospital had strict policies on how patients are handled at certain points during their labor, so although they would come in with these birth plans, sometimes they weren't met to the patient's satisfaction. But at the end it's always healthy mom and healthy baby. Now that I am on the opposite side and I am the pregnant one, I am on the fence on making a birth plan. I don't want to rule out anything or say I want something a certain way because I don't know what my labor may bring. But I know many women who make a birth plan and try and stick to them as much as they can. My SIL had a strict birth plan that denied any pain medication or Pitocin. She even denied IV access (mostly due to her fear of needles), which was granted. The nurse in me thought she was absolutely crazy, because there are so many instances where IV access is absolutely necessary in emergency situations, but she did it with 3 healthy babies....

kelly321 · August 2012

I didn't have anything written down because my hospital's policies were pretty much in line with what I wanted anyway. So you'll want to talk to your doctor and hospital to see how much what you want varies from their standard procedure.

In the end, I had an unplanned, premature c/s with no labor and I got to see DD for just a minute before they took her up to the NICU, so it was pretty much the opposite of what I wanted my birth to be. I would just encourage you to know what you'd like if everything goes well, but to keep an open mind in case the situation calls for something different.

bezbenak · August 2012

Thanks so much for the advice and things to think about! I will definitely talk all of it over w/my doctor during my next appointment.

Heartstrings13 · August 2012

I plan on putting something very small together. Basically a broad idea of what I'm hoping will happen, but I'm also trying to remain flexible because the more elaborate your birth plan, the more likely things you hope for will not be possible. The baby is going to come in their own way, so you can plan until your blue in the face and once you get to the hospital, it'll all go out the window when baby has different plans!!

On mine, I plan to try for a med-free, vaginal birth, but will be open to meds if I need them. I want the doctor to leave the umbilical cord attached until it stops pulsating. I want skin to skin time as immediately as possible and lastly, I want to be able to move around. However, if something were to happen, then the hospital staff will have full rights to do what is necessary to protect the baby. I will work on the baby's schedule and needs, not mine. Even though I'm a planner and would like it to go my way. Smile

altandra · August 2012

My nurses asked me all of those important questions right away, so I didn't even have to get my birth plan out. I had it all typed out and everything and had multiple copies, haha! This time I just plan on interjecting if they are doing something I don't want.

pitterpatter129 · August 2012

I went in with no birth plan at all and was induced. I kind of wish I had made my wishes more clear because I was so out of it I was in no shape to stand up for myself. I ended up with a csection (which my new OB assures me was NOT needed at all based on the hospital reports!) and I encourage anyone who writes a birth plan for a vaginal delivery to also write up a short paragraph for a csection, since you might end up with one! This time I will request that if I have csection and there is nothing wrong with the baby (there wasn't last time) that the baby and my husband stay with me while I'm being stitched up. Last time they whisked both of them out of the room and I didn't get to see the baby for more than five seconds. When I got into the recovery room, our entire family was in the RECOVERY room and had already held the baby before I ever even really saw him!! I had specifically asked them to stay away and they came anyhow. We didn't tell the nurses our wishes and so I had a whole room full of people holding my 30 minute old baby before I did. Write a birth plan!!