Told my mom about TTC

Lenox1975 · August 2012

This past weekend I was home visiting my mom - she lives in another state - and I decided to tell her of our plans and challenges of TTC. Up until now we have not told our families as we didn't want to deal with the questioning, etc. However, we have our first RE consultation next Monday and I wanted to tell her in person of what was going on, in case I called her crying next week and needed support - I didn't want to catch her off guard, etc.

The talk was so different than I expected. It's been 7 months at at this point (which I realize is not long for many) - as you all know, you start off really excited and happy, and then you move into frustrated/sad and in doctor/fix the problem mode. When I opened the conversation with "DH and I are ready to start a family" she started crying out of joy. I got all down to business, etc and said "I know it's great but it's not working, etc" and now I feel bad. I forgot how amazing and exciting it would be for her and I feel like I didn't let her get even 5 minutes of that.

No reason for posting - I just needed to share.

freeman2121 · August 2012

Oh, I see how she could have thought that was going in another direction. I bet she is glad you told her. Our moms are still our moms & I'm sure they like to still be needed as a mom for support. Now she can be with you on your journey & upon success. Best wishes to you

cheryegrace · August 2012

I'm going to tell my momma about TTC soon as well. I keep hearing the "you're getting too old" line from her (I'm 38, but she had me when she was 40) so I'm sure she will be happy but concerned. i know she has plans for any child I have though...she and my sister have already told me they basically want the baby on the weekends to dress up and play with LOL. I think that's how all mom's are though...they have and "idea" of what being a grandparent is like...the spoiling and the fun. It's good that you were up front with her though. Sometimes you just gotta be real...you are her baby afterall and sometimes you someone to be really behind you.

Snapdragon333 · August 2012

I decided to tell my mom right before I had surgery for my cyst in April. She knows that it is likely that I will probably have to start giving myself shots now. I think that it makes her feel good knowing that I can tell her about our problems. I don't tell her all details but she at least knows that we are struggling. She has all of the cliche' advice such as 'just relax' and 'don't give up'. I don't let it bother me though because I know it isn't just flippant advice like some people like to give...she really does care and worry.

I also remember how excited she was when I told her 1 1/2 years ago that we had decided to start a family. At that point though, I didn't realize it would take so long. It's good you were able to tell your mom, hopefully she will give you space when you don't want to talk about it and also be there when you need her.

jjs2010 · August 2012

I am sure that is a load off.

On another note, your chart looks good!

Lenox1975 · August 2012

Thanks everyone! After reflecting on everyone's comments - it's amazing how I was missing the obvious - which is about her loving me and supporting me as a mom - wanting to celebrate with me and help me, not judging or thinking I'm a failure - which I think deep down I thought was going to happen.

IRL I am so guarded and private about this stuff - I don't want to let people in because I don't need anyone pitying me, judging, always thinking but not saying, etc. It's amazing how horribly debilitating that is when I step back and realize that's how I'm feeling. People, like my mom, really want to help and sometimes help is what we need. I think in this journey, the sooner I learn to be able to lean on people and get the support I need, the easier it will be.

JJS2010 - thanks for the compliment! My chart is blushing

annalisel · August 2012

I think it's great that you told your mom. I didn't dare because of what happened to you. I was afraid she'd get her hopes up and they'd be dashed rather then just assuming we were CFBC. We ended up having to tell for logistical reasons when we were having the miscarriage. It would have been so much nicer to have the support earlier.

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