Is anyone telling their DH...

Shazzie116 · August 2012

Not to look when the baby is crowning and its head comes out? I watched a vaginal birth and never realized that once the head is out they stopp you from pushing and suction the nose and mouth. So the baby's head is just kind of there. I know it is relatively quick, but I am not sure I want DH to look. It's probably just me but it creeped me out.

Of course if he really wants to look, it's up to him. Maybe it'll be different when it's me and our baby, not a stranger's crotchshot on Babycenter.

ebb7 · August 2012

I absolutely did not let DH watch with DD#1 and will not with DD#2 either. I don't want him to be traumatized, as I've heard many horror stories about men not being able to see their wives in the same fashion ever again after witnessing it!

bmv1980 · August 2012

Funny, after our natural childbirth class (and the videos that we had to watch), I told him that I didn't want him "down there" during delivery. He then told me that he wanted to "catch" our LO! Lol...we'll see how that all pans out. I definitely draw the line at video taping. No cameras will be allowed when our LO is coming out!

ShesCrafty3 · August 2012

I don't want my husband to look and I don't think he wants to look either. I'd refer that remain a "happy place" for him. lol

ShesCrafty3 · August 2012

I don't want my husband to look and I don't think he wants to look either. I'd prefer that remain a "happy place" for him. lol

BPer · August 2012

I told DH to keep his eyes up top, and not to even peek at 'the business end'. I feel like much of my 'mystique' has faded with the unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, I'd rather he remember only lovely things about my lady parts.

Bookelly · August 2012

DH already asked permission to stay up by my head while I'm pushing

. He's an EMT, so he has no issues with the blood and gore, but he was honest about not wanting to see my vagina in that state.

misspunky · August 2012

I really don't give a fluck who looks down there. MH thinks it's awesome anyways.

hmp1 · August 2012

I told DH to stay by the head. He didn't argue. He gets squeamish anyway and it wasn't worth him passing out on me.

bmv1980 · August 2012

kate2904:
I really don't give a fluck who looks down there. MH thinks it's awesome anyways.

Yes

AKB090609 · August 2012

DH asked if he can have his back to the "business" end of the birth, no argument from me!

terri_doula2010 · August 2012

Of course I wouldn't tell him not to watch the birth of his own child. I expect to be utilizing a mirror at that point to help with pushing, but he is welcome to look or not look as he wishes. I will be *shocked* if he doesn't want to look.

DH has watched many birth videos and knows what is going on. He isn't going to see me any differently or be traumatized. Birth is beautiful.

Shazzie116 · August 2012

terri_doula2010:
Of course I wouldn't tell him not to watch the birth of his own child. I expect to be utilizing a mirror at that point to help with pushing, but he is welcome to look or not look as he wishes. I will be *shocked* if he doesn't want to look.
DH has watched many birth videos and knows what is going on. He isn't going to see me any differently or be traumatized. Birth is beautiful.

I agree 100%. I just don't want DH to feel like he has to look. Some of his coworkers who have kids say "Dude, you have to look. She'll hate you forever if you don't." That is not the case in the slightest.

jlh2716 · August 2012

Nope. He can look if he wants to. Which he probably will.

alli84 · August 2012

A good friend of mine had a c-section and she warned her husband to not look over the curtain. She kept trying to get him to just keep looking at her, but of course he looked over the curtain just as their little girl was being pulled out.... and of course immediately dropped and passed out!

Haven't discussed it with my DH yet, but I'm sure the topic will have to come up soon.

dmfan897 · August 2012

Of course not..both times the nurses encouraged him to look and he did..there is nothing that compares to watching your own child be born. There is a big difference between a vagina that is birthing a child and a vagina for uh pleasure. My DH has no hang ups about having sex after birth. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

diskogurl · August 2012

BobKat22:
He says he won't be looking, but I want him to see what I'm having to go through. We'll see what happens.

Eh, this is how I feel..he better look!

PrncesWife · August 2012

My DH had no choice but to look. He held one of my legs and the nurse held the other. He wasn't traumatized.

hunter91011 · August 2012

I don't care whether he looks or not, but judging by the fact that he excused himself during our birthing class when they showed the video I think his eyes will stay high. My dad said he had no intentions of looking when me and my sisters were born, but he couldn't help it and couldn't take his eyes off of the business end of things.

sfolola · August 2012

I am definitely on the "don't look" side on the fence. I know it's a miracle and the gift of life and all that, but I'm ok with not knowing what everything that happens to me looks like, and if I'm not looking, I don't want him looking, either.

VineyardMel · August 2012

I'm a c/s so it's different, but what I hate the most about not going vaginal is that DH can't see her be born. I was the labor coach for a dear friend and had no intention of looking (I was there for support and didn't want to overstep my bounds) but she was surprised I wasn't watching and said it was OK. It was absolutely the most incredible and amazing thing I've ever seen. At that point it's such a surreal thing that you really don't even realize you're looking at a vagina--and you're so focused on the baby that the parts are completely secondary.

I guess I also can't imagine anything that would make my husband no longer want to have sex...

Jenelle101 · August 2012

I'm surprised by so many women not wanting their husband to watch. I don't know...I guess it's not a big deal to me. With DD, I had a mirror because I wanted to see her come out. So DH stayed by my head and held my hand while we both watched the mirror. He and I thought it was the coolest thing to watch our baby girl enter the world!

watercolor5 · August 2012

I don't mind at all if he looks... actually, I think the crowning and baby coming out is the part he wants to see most, as his brother said it was the most amazing thing when his wife gave birth.

I'm not at all worried about him feeling differently about my vagina afterward either... pregnancy hasn't phased him in the least, he still seems to find me sexy, and I want him to understand the whole 6 weeks of recovery thing. If anything is going to convince him of that, it's seeing what's actually going on down there!

Manx4 · August 2012

MH had a front row seat to the entire thing - I originally wanted him to stay up by my head but the doctor encouraged him to hold my leg when I was pushing so he moved down there.

He's not traumatized and said it was actually really cool to watch his son come into the world.

He'll probably be down there again to see this baby enter the world.

xrum · August 2012

i told him he can only be there during birth, if he stays on my level, no peeking down there

melody921 · August 2012

DH watched with DS. It never occurred to me to tell him not to. I don't remember the suctioning though.

terri_doula2010 · August 2012

alli84:
A good friend of mine had a c-section and she warned her husband to not look over the curtain. She kept trying to get him to just keep looking at her, but of course he looked over the curtain just as their little girl was being pulled out.... and of course immediately dropped and passed out!
Haven't discussed it with my DH yet, but I'm sure the topic will have to come up soon.

I think a c-section is VERY different from a vaginal birth in this regard. Seeing a baby come out of a vagina: normal. Seeing the insides of another human being: surgery.

If my husband wanted to look I'd still be okay with it, and I know someone whose husband helped pull the baby out from a c-section....but that's not my husband. Last time he was already having to focus on not panicking while walking past a bowl full of bloody gauze. He isn't even squeamish, but that is his wife's blood, his wife's internal organs....so that bothers him.

Unem · August 2012

I'm not sure. After watching random women give birth at our birthing class, I don't think I'm as worried about him seeing me like that. However, I will probably want him close to me when I'm pushing, so that might be the reason why I tell him not to go down there.

kvickery · August 2012

DH held a leg when I had DS and he looked. He said that it doesn't look the same and it didn't bother him. He actually liked getting to see his son enter the world.

INmommy871278 · August 2012

After watching the natural chldbirth video during our prep class DH informed me that he did not want to venture down there and that was that. My only request to him was if something where to happen, like a C-section end up needing to be done he is to stay with LO if possible.

Stasi · August 2012

terri_doula2010:

Of course I wouldn't tell him not to watch the birth of his own child. I expect to be utilizing a mirror at that point to help with pushing, but he is welcome to look or not look as he wishes. I will be *shocked* if he doesn't want to look.

DH has watched many birth videos and knows what is going on. He isn't going to see me any differently or be traumatized. Birth is beautiful.

This is how I feel exactly! My DH has been told by his daddy guy-friends that he will be more amazed by his wife's strength and courage and the excitment of his child entering the world, then concerned that his sex-drive might be tarnished by seeing a baby come out of a vagina.

I do think, however, if a dad is uncomfortable, or squimish then he should opt out of looking down there!!

MrsL0908 · August 2012

DH said he didn't want to watch - he thought he would get woozy or something. But, in the moment - he just couldn't help himself. And honestly? He said it was the most amazing thing in the world to see his son born. It didn't creep him out, or make him feel differently towards me (except that he now thinks I'm a rock star). So my opinion? Let him look!

cmiller0623 · August 2012

as soon as i found out i told DF not to look lol i think he looked w/his first DD i told him i dont want him looking and thankfully he says he doesnt really want to. i just hope he doesnt change his mind last minute and sneak down there

jbBeans · August 2012

I love whoever mentioned the idea that him seeing what actually happens will help him understand the post-partum moratorium on sex (although I think he'd get it anyway, but that's pretty funny).

I told MH he could watch if he wanted. I kind of picture myself squatting or pushing up against the wall, though, so I'm not sure if it'll be a convenient angle for "observing." I don't think he'll be less attracted to me after seeing our baby come out, though. He's pretty mature Wink

KateD12 · August 2012

While I CONSTANTLY joke with my husband about his "delivery view restrictions" and threaten to ban him from L&D :-) I will let him do whatever he wants: front row view or up by my head. Yeah, the thought of him looking down there with a head popped part way out can definitely sound creepy. On the flip side, he's been with me 100% through all the good and bad of pregnancy, and still finds me sexy even though at times I've told him I peed my pants, or I've sat with the A/C in the car pointed up my skirt, haha! We're in it as a team, he can choose, just don't blow my cover yet. ;-)

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