We have a biter...

tiffanymuegge · August 2012

So, my LOs will be 17 months next week - and over the past couple of weeks, we've noticed that DD is beginning to bite. At first, she would just bite my shirt and pull on it, but yesterday she bit DS and me and left little tooth marks on both of us (moreso on DS). Any suggestions about how to nip this before it gets worse???

festivus · August 2012

Dealing with the same thing. We say something similar to PP: no biting, just kisses (as they act as if they are giving kisses and then chomp down!). It has helped, but I'd love other suggestions. When I did a stern "no no!" they either cried or laughed in my face.

tiffanymuegge · August 2012

Yes, I try to not raise my voice with them, but it was a knee jerk reaction when she bit the inside of my arm to say "NO!" Of course, it scared her - and she cried and had the saddest little face. I've been telling her no biting - only kisses, but like others, she just laughs. I guess we are just going to have to watch her every move now. And to think I thought it was getting easier letting them play in the living room while I'm in the kitchen (it's an open room, but still)...like everyone says, one thing gets easier - another get more difficult! Oh, life with twins!

Rynleigh · August 2012

I've always had absolutely no qualms with being extremely firm with my kids, when they were toddlers, and letting them cry and understand that I'm thoroughly upset by their behaviour. Biting and hitting never happened more than a couple of times in our house - with either of our girls - because it was never, ever tolerated. The moment it happened I took their faces in my hands (gentle, not aggressively or in anger, to ensure that they make eye contact with me and understand how serious I am). I looked them dead in the eye, loudly and firmly told them, "NO. Biting is NOT OK. You DON'T BITE!!!". Yes, they cried. Yes, they were upset. But the behaviour ceased because they received the message that they cannot bite loud and clear. They were not hurt, I did not cause them physical pain, I did not give them a long drawn out punishment to feed aggression or guilt - just a blunt and direct "That will not be tolerated, period" instruction and the freedom for them to explore how it made them feel to have someone upset with them.

The real world isn't going to tolerate that sort of behaviour, and it is my job to prepare them for the reality of consequence in a safe and love filled environment. My children don't think I'm mean, or oppressive, or horrible. They respect me, and I respect them, because that's what all of us deserve and it is what we feed into our family.

earlyspring1 · August 2012

I hope you don't mind my responding as my LOs aren't born yet, but I'm a speech therapist that works with toddlers so I do have a little bit of experience in this area. Alot of times when kids that age bite it's either because (A) they're frustrated because they don't have the words to tell you that they don't like what you're doing or (B) they just need a little extra sensory input and biting on something helps with that. Children's sensory systems are growing and developing alot at that age, so there are alot of changes and sometimes when you see kids mouthing things it's not just because of teething.

If she's not already, encourage her to say "no!", or use whatever word you deem appropriate, rather than biting, if she's biting in response to you or her sibling doing something she doesn't like. If she seems to be biting out of nowhere, give her something else to bite instead ("mommy is not for biting. bite ____"). Chewy tubes are great for toddlers to bite on, as they don't break like teething rings can https://www.wayfair.com/Chewy-Tubes-C489184.html?refid=GX26147563665.Chewy%20tubes~e&position=1t3&network=g&pcrid=26147563665&gclid=CPTIrNOv07ECFQff4AodqX8AxA

Or, if you don't want to purchase something, you can try a wet washcloth. Just make sure it's available to her all the time.

Good luck! I hope that helps.

tiffanymuegge · August 2012

Thanks for the info! I didn't even think about her being frustrated! They are nearing 17 months and do not have very many words - maybe 2 or 3 each. Mama, dada and bye bye - with only bye bye being the one that I think they actually know when to use. They just say mama and dada randomly - I don't really think they connect it with DH and me - if that makes any sense. My pedi said at their 15 month check up if she doesn't see much progress by 18 months then we would be referred to a speech therapist. I hope they make leaps and bounds in the next month - but we will just have to wait and see. Is it common for twins to talk later than singletons?

earlyspring1 · August 2012

It is fairly common. I have worked with lots of twins. Other things to keep in mind are, do they understand you? Like if you said "give this to daddy" or "go get the bear" would they do it? Also, do they babble or are they very quiet? If they babble and they understand you, you can probably wait a few months to refer them because they may catch up, and depending on where you live they may not qualify for services at 18 months anyway. In the meantime you can try teaching them a few signs to reduce frustration. "more" is a good one to start with. Good luck!

Want a personalized experience?

We have a biter...

Re: We have a biter...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards