Work and PPD

wheelsonthebus · July 2012

I've been having some problems with PPD and PPA since returning to work. I run a small home daycare (I take care of two children in addition to my own two) and I went "back to work" after four weeks. I had been having some depression during my pregnancy, but thought it was only pregnancy related. I felt totally NORMAL after having the baby.

Within days of starting work again, I starting having trouble sleeping. Everything just seemed so overwhelming and stressful. I have a tough group of children and every day feels like a marathon. That paired with the isolation of being stuck in my house with no adult contact all day is hard. I ended up getting so bad that I couldn't stop crying and hadn't slept in a couple of days. I got Mastitis and was forced to take a week off of work. During that week, I felt happy and healthy again. I reopened my daycare after a week and felt like my normal self. Well, this weekend I started feeling stressed again and had trouble sleeping. HEre it is Monday and I feel like I'm losing it again. I've started having severe stomach pains. I slept ONE hour last night and have been having panic attacks at night. I feel like getting up everday is just torture and I'm so sick of my son seeing his mother completely miserable all of the time. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I am realizing that my issue is related to work. I think I went back to work too early and am now paying the price. I don't know what to do. We need my income. We have plans for me to quit, but not until we refinance and pay off some debt. I was thinking by Christmas. However, now it feels like I can't make it until then. I'm just so completely burned out.

Is anyone else having this problem? How do you handle it? I went to see a therapist to help me get through this and to learn some ways of coping and she said that medication wouldn't really be a good option. She said that she believes it's the job causing the stress. I feel very stuck.

blondie87 · July 2012

I am so sorry for how you are feeling. I feel stuck at work too, but at least you have a light at the end of the tunnel. I will be working forever. I also didn't get paid during my maternity leave (I had to take 6 weeks off before for bedrest and then only 3 after she was born) so I have been trying to play catch up ever since. I'm glad you got to talk to someone I feel so stuck and stressed out all the time. I hope we both get back to "normal" soon.

PastaFanatic2012 · August 2012

I disagree that medicine isn't a good option. It certainly sounds as if it's the job that causes the depression but that doesn't mean that medicines won't help to raise the 'happy' hormones in your brain. Even if you are BFing, there are still relatively safe options - Zoloft, for example.

I would imagine it would be hard with 4 but could you get out at all? Even for a walk?

What about at night? Maybe take the baby and go to the mall? Not sure how old your older one is (bedtime and all). Could you get out with friends one night a week? Any 'adults' you could talk to for a few minutes during the day?

Hugs!

teachermother · August 2012

I feel exactly the same way except I go back to work next week (I teach) and I am completley OVERWHELMED with the thought of going back. I also cannot sleep and can barely function with my 3 yr old and 3 month old. I called my OB doctor he told me that I definatly need to try meds and get this under control before I get back into swing of work again...I just started meds and they have not done anything yet...I am hoping it starts working soon...I would see about meds because chances are its not going to get better on its own since you have to work...take care

cottonlily84 · August 2012

I think anyone who has to work to pay the bills (different from working bc you want to) would feel "stuck" at times. Work is why I finally got honest with myself and went to the dr about PPD. I knew I had it but thought I could keep pushing through. Then there'd be days where I'd have to shut my office door bc I'd cry for hours. I was pumping and spent what little free time from breaks doing that. I didn't get to go to lunch and after hour things with friends anymore, and didn't want to anyway. The final straw was how horribly impaired I became at doing my actual work. The anxiety of project deadlines was enough to make my stomach physically hurt. I was on pregnancy bedrest a long time so when I came back there was this expectation of hoorah, she's back, now everything will be perfectly normal. I was not perfectly normal. I was a damn mess. I couldn't remember anything. I'd make notes and then forget where I put them or what exactly they were about. I was ill and moodly, withdrawn from everyone and didn't care. The forgetfulness and inability to sleep (making it 10x worse) is why I saw my dr again. IDK why your therapist says the medication won't help you. Sure, stress doesn't help but I still have stress in my job but now with the meds I tackle it head on and feel proud to have done so. I was not like that before the meds. I actually feel better now than I did before I got pregnant. I hope you can find some relief and someone who will help you by offering possible solutions to you.

Work and PPD

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