Natural Birth
horsevaulter
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Does this really happen?
horsevaulter
member
I am early in my PG (7.5 weeks) but have always thought I would want a natural birth. My MIL is scaring the sh#* out of me and insisting on a c-section.. She said she had to have 6 reconstructive surgeries to recover and almost died.. She also told me that everyone who has a natural birth will ALWAYS be incontinent. I havn't researched this yet as much as I would like, and I will research it more. I was just hoping for some reasurance from you ladies 
TIA
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Re: Does this really happen?
You need to shut this woman down. Now. Just tell her you can't have this conversation. I do not need details about my mother-in-law's vagina.
No, her experience isn't normal. Yes, it could have happened. It probably happened with some pretty extreme circumstances. That again, I don't actually want to know about my mother in law's vagina.
No, every woman that has a natural birth is not incontinent.
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I had an unmedicated vaginal birth am not incontinent. I was pretty...uh....leaky during pregnancy but I hear that's normal. It went away pretty much right after the birth.
This is the time in your life where you need some serious support. I don't know about hypnobirthing but I did Hypnobabies and they teach you early on to establish your "bubble of peace" that gives you the courage to stop listening to stories like this. For some weird reason women always want to share their worst horror stories with pregnant women. I will never understand it. Try your best to block out all of that negativity. It will not help you.
FWIW, I will do an unmedicated vaginal birth again with my next one (God willing). I had quite a bit of tearing and although that sounds bad but it wasn't. It just took me a little bit longer to feel in tip top shape. I hear recovering from a C Section is much worse.
Run far far away from this woman!! Yikes. I would simply tell her that a CS is only an option in an emergency and that you're uncomfortable sharing anything more than that. I had to call my Mil and tell her to stop asking questions bc it was making me uncomfortable. It was easier over the phone than in person for me.
Ps- I have had zero incontinence issues.
She's right. Major surgery is a way better idea than a natural birth
Seriously, though, the fear of peeing a little when you sneeze (which I still do on occasion - big deal) isn't worth the risk of surgery. I wouldn't change anything (except maybe doing more kegels) and hope to never experience a c-section. GL dealing with her. She sounds fun!
Oh please, she's insane.
I had natural childbirth (well, pitocin induced but other than that...), no pain meds, no c-section, no epidural, no episiotomy.
I required 1 (1!) stitch.
I am not incontinent, I had almost no pain from healing, DH states that now that I'm healed up there is no uhm... tightness difference. ahem.
If that were true about all women who have natural birth being incontinent always, then every woman was incontinent always up until.. what, the early 1900's? Does that make any sort of sense to you?
She may or may not have had a terrible experience herself. Natural childbirth LIKE EVERY OTHER CHILDBIRTH including c-sections, comes with risks. The risks are very, vanishingly slight.
Do not listen to her.
The incidence of complications is statistically higher with c-sections. *Temporary* (note--resolves without intervention) incontinence is the only complication that is higher for vaginal delivery (again, *temporary* that resolves with mom doing Kegels or whatnot, not requiring surgery). And it's still not even close to every woman.
It sounds like your MIL had a horrible experience, but every birth situation is going to have a few horrible experiences. And do you think (or at least hope) that maternity care has improved in the last 30 years? Don't even pay attention to horror stories that aren't recent--many of the practices that they talk about are outdated.
Tell her that you're not comfortable talking about her hoo-ha and move on to discussing the weather or the Olympics or something
Yes, your MIL is incorrect and probably a little bit crazy. And her experience was incredibly uncommon.
I've had 3 natural (ie. unmedicated) vaginal births now and have zero incontinence issues. Sex is also better than it was before. My births were all great experiences with quick healing, and my LOs ranged from 7lb 15 oz to 9lb 7oz.
And you can tell her that pelvic floor weakness and mild incontinence (during pregnancy and healing), which certainly do occur, are not uncommon for unmedicated births, medicated vaginal births, AND c-sections. It's not always the birthing that causes problems so much as it is the 9 months of growing weight and pressure on the pelvic floor, which we all experience regardless of how we birth.
Do lots of research for the birth YOU want, feel confident in your decisions, and tell her the conversation is not up for discussion (and after dealing with my own in-law issues re:natural birth, I can assure you that discussion/arguments about it are never worth it).
Good luck!
Depending on how old your MIL is, it's highly likely she was put into a twilight sleep for her delivery, which would have necessitated a lot of medication and probably the use of forceps or vaccum, which would have necessitated an episiotomy. It sucks that she had such a horrible experience, but seriously...she needs to hush. Definitely read the books that pp's mentioned. I wouldn't discuss this with her anymore, because she is more than likely not going to support your decision. Take birth classes so that you are really prepared.
As for myself, no issues with incontinence. My sister who had an emergency c-section? She hopes to VBAC far away from a hospital next time.
I am not incontinent and I haven't had any lingering issues from my natural birth. I didn't even need stitches, to say nothing of reconstructive surgery. Yes, sometimes vaginal births go badly, but so can c/s. In fact a woman is three times more likely to die from childbirth if she has a c/s than a vaginal delivery. You MIL is projecting her own experience onto you and she's being irrational. You may need to tell her you aren't going to discuss it with her anymore.
tell her to SHUT It.. its not the DINOSAUR AGE.. and VAG birth is wayy easier to recover from.. besides if you dont need a C Section go Vag Birth in my perspective safer,, of course unless medically necessary.. my MIL says elective(esthetically reasoned) CSections are for sissies.. lol shes hillarious
Best of Luck
I do have a little stress incontinence...usually pee a little when I go extra hard for a ball at soccer or if running long distances.
It does suck a little...been dealing with it for two years after the birth of my first. It's not terrible, and no worse after my second. I don't feel I need reconstructive surgery at this time, but I do have to wear a little pad when I exercise now. Such is life. It's not anything to be afraid of...and will likely happen to all of us when we get old anyways. :P
Your MIL may have had a bad experience, but she's full of it!! Do NOT listen to her advice. Do your own research, and politely tell her that you would appreciate not hearing about her experience anymore because it adds stress that you do not want right now. If she can't understand that, it's time to do some avoidance.
ETA: Is your MIL the picture of fitness, in your opinion? I have physical therapy background, and I can tell you that women with very poor pelvic floor tone (that's what those kegel exercises help with..) can have incontinence whether or not they have ever given birth, and even have their uterus come inside-out through their vagina. Oh yes. It's all possible. But I can tell you, if this happened to everyone, you'd know about it.
I wouldn't believe anything that comes out of her mouth. I hate when people go out of their ways to scare women about the "dangers" of NB....
You can have a NB without needing surgery. You (obviously) cannot have a c-section without going through surgery. She makes no sense.
And by natural, you're meaning vaginally or med-free?