husband cutting the cord

dufferoo · August 2012

It weirds me out. I can't totally put it in words, but does anybody else find this new custom kind of weird? My husband really wants to cut the umbilical cord after the baby is born-I think just because it's "the thing to do"-but I'm really uncomfortable with it. For one, it's just kinda creepy to have him cut something that's part of my body, but also I think it's the symbolism of it. Like, I don't like the idea of my husband eagerly cutting the connection between myself and my baby. I feel like I might not have put this is words properly, but does anybody else feel similar? Or does anybody have any compelling reasons why the husband should/would want to cut it?

sdlaura · August 2012

I don't know if I'd call it a new custom. My DH's father cut the cord when he was born. But if it weirds you out, it's obviously totally fine not to do it!

dufferoo · August 2012

kikimo327:
I'm the opposite... I want my husband to cut it, but he's not so sure, especially after someone in our birth class explained that it took a few snips. Personally, I think it's something for the father to do to feel a part of the birth, but I see your point of view too. Have you shared your feelings with him?

I did finally bring it up to him and he's really receptive to my feelings, but you can tell he's disappointed. I don't want to let him down and I do like that he wants to be so involved, I just wish there was another way that didn't creep me out. I don't understand why dudes want to do this out of all things to be involved. Why not sweep up the afterbirth or change the baby's first diaper? Out of curiosity, why did you want your husband to cut the cord? Can you put your reasoning into words? I want to understand this tradition.

Merried_2008 · August 2012

I understand and feel your perspective, but men don't get to do much when it comes to babies. They can't grow them, they can't birth them, they can't nurture them with their breasts, but they can be the first to welcome them into their lives/the world. Maybe that's what this is about for your DH? It's something he gets to do that no body else gets offered?

punkrockabye · August 2012

I know it's typical for the dad to cut the cord but I guess I haven't ever thought of it as something they always do. DH is really squeamish but he thinks he'll be fine cutting it... he did ask me what he's supposed to cut it with, though. haha. I don't have any strong feelings either way and I don't think he does either, he just wants to cut it just because, not because he feels like it makes him more involved or anything. And if he happens to freeze at the last second, I'll cut the cord.

For us, we just think the less the doctors do, the better; I'm really sick of the prevalent "we control everything, just lay there and do as you're told" attitude among doctors. Unless there's a dire emergency I wouldn't want anyone other than DH or I to cut the cord. It's my birth, after all. Not a doctor's birth.

gracefulash · August 2012

I think you will get more answers from the other board you accidently posted to.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67822959.aspx

Lotus birth all the way!

jesslinnn · August 2012

gracefulash:
Lotus birth all the way!

OMG! Why did I have to google that?!?!?

Edit: back to the topic.... I agree with Merried, it's the first thing he gets to really do. I thought it was weird that DH didn't want to at first. When the time came he cut the cord and he's glad he did.

SpruceGrouse · August 2012

He doesn't want to do it. It doesn't matter to me either way.

Raserei · August 2012

kikimo327:
Personally, I think it's something for the father to do to feel a part of the birth, but I see your point of view too.

This is where I'm at with it. My husband is also unsure because of the texture of the cord. He explained it to me like it was a ribbon cutting ceremony, opening us up to our new family lol. I see what you're saying, but I also don't think that he'd be cutting away a connection between you and your LO, but more of the joining of the family as a unit. Truth be told, I think it's weird, too. Sounds like a medical thing to me, but if my H wants to do it and can do it without passing out, more power to him.

TechieGirl1 · August 2012

to be honest me and DH haven't really discussed this but i don't think my DH will be able to do this! My DH gets lightheaded and is on the verge of passing out anytime he sees blood from me, so this isn't an issue for us. He's concerned he won't even be able to be in the delivery room at this point. I told him to just stay by my head and he'll be fine. Geeked

SayAnything84 · August 2012

I don't really care either way. But my DH has zero interest in 'cutting flesh with scissors' that is how he thinks of it.

mindymaske · August 2012

why dont you think of it differently? how about like this, instead of the symbolism of cutting the connection between you and the baby, think of him severing the connection from the baby to ONLY you. Now, the baby can be connected to BOTH you and hubby. It frees the baby to the world, instead of just a uterus.

dufferoo · August 2012

gracefulash:

I think you will get more answers from the other board you accidently posted to.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67822959.aspx

Lotus birth all the way!

Whoa that was an exciting thread! I should mis-post more often!

Thanks to everybody who gave feedback. I realize I'm overthinking this, but that is my specialty, and that is why I posted in the first place! I really do appreciate the responses, especially the ones about re-framing the symbolism of the whole thing. I get it, I get it, I think I just have to process it a bit. Which is fine, because I feel like I'm never going into labor anyways.

HoneyBunn24 · August 2012

DH wants to, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I feel like it is his part of bringing the baby into the world. He's there to support me and to be there for me through labour and I know that this means a lot to him...for whatever reasons he has.

shakinros · August 2012

As a bunch of others have said, I think of it as DH's chance to welcome the LO into her independent life. Like he's cutting her loose to live for herself. I'm not all that articulate in the morning.

But I think he's going to do it, though he's got a little of that look of terror in his eye when it comes up.

pixieprincss · August 2012

I've heard of other moms feeling the same way. Personally, my DH isn't interested in catching or cord cutting (though he's otherwise very involved in the birth). These are both things that I would like to do myself, so our plan is for the MWs to offer us each the chance to do it so we can decide in the moment. If we don't want to then they will do it.

hooslisa · August 2012

gracefulash:
I think you will get more answers from the other board you accidently posted to.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67822959.aspx
Lotus birth all the way!

my god. that is the craziest thing I have ever heard of.

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