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Teenagers locking bedroom door

MrsHKMrsHK member
in Blended Families

How do you feel about your teenagers locking their bedroom door?

FD doesn't have a real lock on her door, just the kind that hooks. She's typically not real secretive or anything, most times doesn't even close the door behind her. She tends to lock it at night, and now sometimes during the day.

We've always knocked and waited to open the door. We've wanted her to know we do respect her privacy as we expect hers as well. She hasn't been in there with her BF. We also do let her smoke (she's 17) and that's outside only. We know she's not smoking up there. DH has a bloodhound nose, he would know. (His sense of smell is really crazy).

So really I'm not all that concerned that she's doing something she shouldn't and she shouldn't fear that we're barging in either. So I don't really see any reason to not let her lock that door, I just think it's a little odd. Though I kinda understand, having grown up in a votile atmosphere myself,  the need to lock the door. I understand needing that little bit of security. Is that all it is?

Proverbs 12:10 "A righteous man cares for the needs of his animals ChipMonkey 3/19/08 *** Turtle 1/26/10 *** CarBear 10/06/11
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Re: Teenagers locking bedroom door

  • Serendipity07Serendipity07
    In our house, the boys aren't allowed to lock the doors. They know we have the rule of "knocking first" for everyone - so we aren't going to barge in on them, but to me, there's no reason to lock the door unless something fishy is going on. (my SS's are 15 and almost 12...) When they're adults they can do what they want as long as they're not bringing drugs or anything weird into our home which I would hope wouldn't happen...
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  • PlannedChaosPlannedChaos

    Our house is a little skewed.  DD, who is 14, is allowed to lock her door, and does every night, and occasionally when she is being bothered by her sibs.  She's very responsible, gets good grades, and has NEVER given us a reason to worry about anything, so I don't have a problem with it.  She always immediately opens up if you knock.

    SD, on the other hand, we've had tons of problems with, so she does not even have a lock on her door.  She took to sitting in front of her door when it's closed, which is generally because she'd doing something she's not supposed to, and doesn't want to get busted.  Because, you know, her sitting in front of it isn't a dead giveaway.

    My SSs...I'd just be happy if they would CLOSE the door.  I don't need to see SS(8) going pee ONE MORE TIME.  *scream*

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  • j+kj+k

    We didn't allow SD to lock her door but she was (is) a problem child.  But if you generally have a good kid, and you really feel you have nothing to worry about, I'd just stay in tune with her and not worry about it.

     

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  • Serendipity07Serendipity07
    Forgot to mention - with ours, they're normally up to no good OR it takes them FOREVER to unlock the door, so it makes us wonder...and that's why we don't allow it at our house.
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  • anniya77anniya77

    Personally, I'm not sure I would want to walk into a teen's room if the door was shut or locked. God only knows what they're doing in there.

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  • FloF9FloF9 member

    SS tried to do that to me.  once.

    It's one thing if he was resting and closed it but kept it unlocked. However - he was upset about a punishment and walked away from our conversation and locked it to keep me out

    I took off the door for an entire month.  He got the point.

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  • IlumineIlumine member

    Heck NO! 

    I did not have a lock on MYdoor until my sister started taking my things.  And then, my parents had the key and I knew that they could and would go into my room at any time.

    Its not a question of trust and privacy as a question of hygene (not cleanliness = HYGENE) and stopping him from locking us out when he is in a snit (a no no while we are undergoing behavioral modification).

    Were he to be hygenic or not try to lock us out when he gets in trouble, then I probably would not have an issue with it. 

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • taagenttaagent member
    SD isn't able to lock her door - she does close it and I have to say I am bad about knocking (she is only 8 though).  She mainly keeps it closed not for privacy but to keep the dogs out.  If she asked to lock it I guess I would ask her why she felt the need to lock it.  She is a good kid but I don't really see why she would need a lock on her door - we don't go into her room unless we need to get something out of her closet or a book etc (for her). 
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    I honestly do not know how I feel under normal circumstances.  When you are talking to her about something lighthearted ask her why she feels the need, just tell her you are not annoyed or trying to pry but curious.  The only time I had an issue with this was when my 18yo SD was screaming and cursing on the phone which we do not tolerate especially with a little one listening and I told her to get off the phone so she locked it...the lock was removed the next day and replaced with a closet door-knob.  Oh, on a side note if you ever have the need, locked doors make it easier to easedrop, lol.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • DaringMissDaringMiss member
    My instinct leans toward no locked doors anywhere in the house. ?We don't lock our bedroom door and the kids don't lock theirs. ?Only bathroom doors get locked.
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