Super Annoyed!

crene84 · August 2012

So, if you've seen my previous posts, I've been pretty upbeat and happy with how smoothly the HS process was going. It continues to go quickly but today I get an e-mail from my SW with follow-up questions. There was SO MUCH! We spent 4 hours of non-stop talking and she took pages of notes. I was surprised at how much she needed to clarify. And even worse, some of the questions were just so ridiculous. Throughout this whole thing, we've been kind of irritated (as I'm sure most of you are as well) at how invasive the HS is, especially since people getting preg on their own don't need one, but like..one of the questions was "what color is your house/shutters?" Seriously?

Even though it's only been a few weeks, I'm so ready for this HS to be over!

jillianmb · August 2012

Ugh I remember feeling the same way. Our HS meetings went really fast (I think 4 in 6 weeks) but then it took FOREVER for our SW to write the darn thing. And when I read it I was like, "I could have written this in a day." It seriously sucked, from writing style to formatting, I could have done better when I was in 10th grade. But at the end of the day it was what we needed to move forward with our adoption. This too shall pass! ((hugs))

srmmm09 · August 2012

I totally understand. Having just recently had a bio kid, I know full well there was no interview on our parental abilities the night E was conceived.

We're in the process of applying for grants and, man, it feels even worse. At least I have some sort of relationship with our case worker at the agency. People will be looking at our last 2 tax returns and cash flow worksheets and statements of faith, and judging us. I'm sure their hearts aren't judgmental, but it's hard to have people you literally have never met affecting your life in a profound way.

It's times like that that I have to take a step back and say, is baby A worth it? At which point I'm comforted, because of course s/he is. Of course.

sewolff · August 2012

I was really encouraged that our home study visits were done quickly and didn't seem nearly as invasive as I'd feared. Should have known it was too easy. The SW told us it would take two weeks to complete the report but I ended up making numerous calls to our agency and it took six weeks for her to send it to them. We still haven't received a copy. It seems like everything takes longer than expected. It did confirm that I have to push the process along rather than waiting patiently.

crene84 · August 2012

sewolff:
I was really encouraged that our home study visits were done quickly and didn't seem nearly as invasive as I'd feared. Should have known it was too easy. The SW told us it would take two weeks to complete the report but I ended up making numerous calls to our agency and it took six weeks for her to send it to them. We still haven't received a copy. It seems like everything takes longer than expected. It did confirm that I have to push the process along rather than waiting patiently.

Well, though I'm irritated at how invasive, I'm still optimistic it'll be completed quickly. I know anything can happen until it's actually in my hands, but only 1 week after our last home visit (today), our SW claims she is sending our HS for final review. The woman who does final review is going on vacation and claims to want to get it done before that, so we'll see if it helps or hurts us. Fingers crossed!

MarionB79 · August 2012

Hang in there! I promise it'll be worth it in the end!!!!

I guess we were lucky, because none of it seemed too invasive with our agency. All their questions made perfect sense to me and would be things that I would ask if I were in their place or in the place of a BP.

It seems to me that sadly enough a lot of these things depend on the agency and SW you are working with. Just remember, this too shall pass!

silliestbunny · August 2012

I hear ya... it's crazy!!!

Foster1Mom · August 2012

The laundry list of stupid invasive questions seems to be never ending. I always laugh at them because DH & I are the most boring people ever. If I do not laugh at it all I will lose my head. Hang in there.

IRR · August 2012

UGH. What you are going through is what we thought our HS would be like. We fortunately lucked out and have a great SW who made it painless from a question point of view even though all the paperwork was endless. Hang in there, once it is done, you don't have to worry about it for at least a year.

c&dwaiting4ourmiracle · August 2012

Totally understand. It is a very invasive process an there were times when I too would get upset at the piles of paperwork and intrussive questions, but then I would remind myself that it would lead us to our baby and it did. One year after submitting our application through our agency and starting the home study we are blessed with our miracle child. He is so perfect and all that paperwork is forgotten (almost starting our post placement visits next week).

It will be 100% worth it. Best wishes!

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