debating on whether or not to tell my mom

RussianMommy · August 2012

my mom and i are close, but i literally just found out over the past few days that im pregnant (god that sounds so weird to say)...

she is in town for a week, and it's her birthday. so i can either "surprise" her with a "happy birthday grandma" card or wait to tell her, but it wont be able to be in person since she lives far away. she leaves aug 10th

should i just wait or tell her?

pitterpatter129 · August 2012

I would tell! If something goes wrong, you'd probably tell her anyhow right? I always figured if it was someone I would tell about a miscarriage, then why not go ahead and share the pregnant news early? You can ask her to keep it quiet from other family/friends until later.

RussianMommy · August 2012

ya thats my feeling on it as well. its not like im telling a co-worker. but it would just be sad if i had to go back and tell her bad news if somethng happened

dribilie · August 2012

I told my mom right away, mostly out of fear of her hearing it from somewhere else first. She was really excited. Shes half way across the country but now that she knows she can start saving up to come visit, so she was grateful I told her early.

RussianMommy · August 2012

GhostMonkey:
Your call. My mom knew before my beta, which was done at 4 weeks.

as in you told her, or she guessed?

dande2129 · August 2012

My mom was the first to know other than the father both times. I couldn't imagine holding out.

This time, we had a scare that the pregnancy may not be viable. By that point, I had only known I was pregnant for a week or so. She had already known I was having a difficult time "connecting" to the pregnancy, but she was there for me when I was terrified that something was wrong. We opted to have the hcg two-day screening, and even during that time, she was helping me through it, to stay calm, to not think anything until I knew what was going on. I can't imagine going through that without her.

PrimRoseMama · August 2012

My mom found out right away all three times. She had IF troubles a history of miscarriage 6 of them I found out later before she moved on to adopt myself my other siblings.

She was my rock through 2 miscarriages. She held me when I cried celebrated with me when DD was born healthy.

You have to decide for you. Yes, it was horrifically sad to break the bad news twice in a row, but I could not have made it through without my mama.

For every story like mine there are horror stories of mothers that say the wrong thing or are not supportive. Follow your heart.

meheron80 · August 2012

We found out today and will tell everyone Saturday night (after I tell my husband at dinner). We have been pregnant two times before and told immediatly. The last one we had a mc and retold on facebook after telling family. Suprising it was a huge support for me during my mc. I had tons of personal msg from people who had mc in the past that I never knew. I am glad we told right away and plan to do so again with this pregnancy.

Isobel+1 · August 2012

Just want to say how awesome all your mothers sound! Wishing I had that kind of relationship with mine (just told her yesterday, and her first response was "Oh no, are you keeping it? I already told all my friends you weren't having a baby!) ...

Besides hoping and praying this baby and pregnancy are healthy, I am also praying I will always be a supportive mother and able to be there for my child in times of need...

js1002 · August 2012

OP, what does your partner / SO think? We have told only our parents and my brother / SIL -- and we told everybody together, but discussed it first. We aren't teling anybody else until after the first u/s.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · August 2012

I think you should definitely take that opportunity to tell, as long as you trust her not to tell anyone else, and make sure you specify that you are keeping it quiet.

We have always told our immediate families right away, because we figure that if anything goes wrong we are never going to keep it to ourselves and need/want them there for support, so why not let them be excited with us in the beginning, too?

When we did have a loss, it was nice for us not to have to pretend that everything was okay, or to have to tell them after the fact.

RussianMommy · August 2012

jessicaseaberg:
OP, what does your partner / SO think? We have told only our parents and my brother / SIL -- and we told everybody together, but discussed it first. We aren't teling anybody else until after the first u/s.

My husband could not be happier. in the car he goes "we're having a baby!!!" when i wake up he says "baby!!!!!!" LOL he wants to tell EVERYONE!

I trust my Mom not to say anything because she's always telling me "when you get pregnant, make sure u dont tell ppl right away" (shes very superstitious)

MNgirl326 · August 2012

I told my mom right away. It was so nice to be able to talk to her about things right away. And if something had gone wrong, I would have needed her.

I told my mom after the pg test

My dad, brother and best friend at 5 weeks

Everyone else at 12 weeks

js1002 · August 2012

No, I meant, what does he think about you telling your mom? I would talk to him about it and see what he thinks.

Glad he's psyched though -- so is mine!!

fieldofwildflwrs · August 2012

My mom and I don't have a great relationship. We barely talk and when we do, it usually ends up in a fight. My boyfriend doesn't want her involved in our baby's life, and frankly I don't either. However, I feel like she has the right to know that I am having a baby and that we are very excited.

My best friend was the first to know after my boyfriend of course. We told his parents at 10 weeks. My family is in Europe so I told them at 12 weeks. Im now almost 14 weeks and starting to show. Still haven't told my mom. Any advice on how to break the news to her?

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