One year mark this month...

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

Well, August is here. This time last year, my (at the time, fianc? -- now husband) and I decided to start TTC. In that time, I was pregnant for a short while, but that ended in a m/c. And we did take two months to TTA while I lost a bit of weight and we made some financial changes to our life. So I guess with the short TTA time, it's not a TRUE year... But it's still sad and frustrating.

Has anyone else who has hit the year mark really struggled emotionally? We still plan to keep on keeping on, but I guess my sense of anxiety has just increased a bit more now.

PattyandAlan · August 2012

I am just over the 1 year mark and I am in the same boat. What are you doing to TTC? Charting, temping, OPK's?

Hope this is your month! Good luck!

pianofanatic · August 2012

I've definitely been struggling emotionally for a while now, but yes, the one year mark was disturbing. It has been 2 years + for us and we recently found out about my DH's MFI. And NOW the family history comes out from his mother. We found out this week that he had an undecsended testicle when he was a baby and a hernia that were repaired when he was 9mos. old. Then we found out that his uncle had the same issue and his grandfather had low sperm count. His mother was conceived after 13 years of marriage! Yikes.

So yeah, emotions are up and down especially since I no longer want to do my current line of work but don't have a whole lot of qualifications for other lines (musician). I need to know what is next in life. If God doesn't have motherhood for me, then what does he have? Learning to be content in whatever circumstance.

Unknown · August 2012

This content has been removed.

rrdiva1 · August 2012

JB it is rough, rooting for you and I completely understand!

Stay encouraged!!!

lobosabby · August 2012

I'm sorry. I have no advice, but it seems that you got some good advice from PP's. Keep strong and your chin up - I know, easier said than done.

PrimRoseMama · August 2012

I'm so sorry you are struggling. E-hugs.

daynakako · August 2012

It is so hard hitting that one year mark. I am on cycle 15 (14 active) and I have been having a tough time staying positive. I try not to let it control my life. I am sorry that you have reached this point, but just remember you can always talk to us.

kristykay123 · August 2012

I'm at my one year mark this week. I think there are quite a few of us at our year mark this month. It sucks and makes me want to stab my eyes out with sticks sometimes but I just carry on in hopes that one of these days my treatments will work.

rrdiva1 · August 2012

kristykay123:

I'm at my one year mark this week. I think there are quite a few of us at our year mark this month. It sucks and makes me want to stab my eyes out with sticks sometimes but I just carry on in hopes that one of these days my treatments will work.

Raises a glass for all of us at year mark!!!! I was feeling stabby too, sigh.

tptbabe · August 2012

(((HUGS)))

Hitting the one year mark was an emotional disaster for me. I crawled into a hole and didn't want to come out. The next cycle was easier though. It might have been because of a new Dx and having something to work towards? But even before that, I felt like once that cycle was over, I could move on and just be TTC again.

lauriemel · August 2012

I, too, am hitting the year mark. Honestly, I am doing better with this milestone than I did last month when I turned 30. Turning 30 and not having a baby yet (when I had always pictured myself having 2 or 3 by then) was hard. But after the big day passed, I realized I was being overly dramatic about it.

Every day is different for me. Some days I am really bummed about it. Other days, I figure this is just a struggle I have to go through on the way to parenthood. I have to believe that God wouldn't give me this intense NEED to be a parent if I wasn't going to become one eventually . . . somehow.

Even though I'm feeling pretty zen about it right now, I'm sure I will be a wreck next month when we start the process of testing with an RE.

sunlavender · August 2012

I'm sorry it's been a year. TTC is a struggle. Best luck in the future.

SCSmith2011 · August 2012

This is my one year mark too. Add to it that I turn 39 at the end of the month and the feelings of sadness, anger, fear and frustration have been building since May. *sigh* I remember last year this time I was so excited to be off the pill and we were headed to Disney and I was so sure that I'd get pregnant there. Yeah, obviously that didn't happen. Sad

Rushmore · August 2012

I'm sorry you have reached the year mark. I just reached the one year mark as well. We started TTC last August, and, like you, we also got a BFP in October only to have it end shortly after. It almost seems unreal that all that happened almost a year ago.

We're putting a call to the doctor tomorrow, and I imagine that first appointment is going to be tough one, but we keep hope that it's going to happen for us. All we can do is take it one day at a time and keep the hope.

((hugs))

BellaLux · August 2012

Sorry, it was and has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster. I've started to spend more time on 3TC and IF since our dx, those ladies are a ton of support. Gl moving forward, hopefully you get that BFP before having to more forward with RE.

deelopi9 · August 2012

Jellybean, I'm so sorry for your previous loss. It does get easier and you start to feel a determination to medically find out what can you do to better your odds. My DH and I are on month 20. The best advice someone gave me was not to be so hard on yourself. Have a good cry, cleanse out those feelings and tomorrow will begin a new day. Hoping it's your month!

scgirl89 · August 2012

Aug. is also our year mark.....

Lhyacinth888 · August 2012

I'm sorry you made it to a year. With my first pregnancy it took us 15 months to concieve our son and when we hit a year I was devastated. Hang in there.

jlshapir · August 2012

I'm sorry you're hitting the year mark. I'm just wrapping up my 12 cycle and am about to mark today CD1 of cycle 13.

The last few months have been tough for a number of reasons. I'm frustrated with myself because my OB was willing start testing at 6 mos. I put it off, because I just didn't think anything could be wrong and started testing at mos 9. Now we know there's something wrong, have an RE consult this month, but I can't help but what if myself if we'd gotten started earlier.

Also, we have the travel schedule from hell through January which makes any medicated/monitored cycle practically impossible.

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

Thank you everyone for the sweet and heartfelt replies and encouragement! Wow, so many of us passing or just now hitting that one year mark. :-( I am genuinely sad for all of us, but I guess the best option is to hold on to hope. I'm still pretty young -- only 24 years old -- but DH is now 32 and he's feeling more and more like now is his time to become a father. Almost all of our friends have children now, and that includes a lot of college friends of mine who are 7 or so years younger than him. I just wish I could give him that gift of fatherhood. He often says, "I just want to be young enough to still be able to play with my kids." I don't blame him.

Oh well... here's to continued hope.

kacelle · August 2012

Where is Jessuh when I need her?

JB, I'm sorry for your loss and for your struggles, but I have a really hard time reading your posts here after (summary of MIB drama):

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61848979.aspx

and

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62435941.aspx

Someone flame me if the drama ended better than I remember.

Spookster · August 2012

Big huge hugs, I hope you try and keep your spirits up, I never had to go through m/c but friends of mine have and I know its devastating on top of the 1 yr mark. You're in my thoughts.

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

talon1226:
I'm sorry for your loss and sorry you are struggling. August is the 1year mark for us too. I have my HSG and start Femara after this cycle and it's scary. Have you scheduled any testing yet? That helped give me a little peace because at least it felt like we were doing something to help. Good luck!

Well we did some initial fertility work up tests for me a few months ago. I went to a NFP doctor and I greatly respect their methods but I just have this weird hunch that this particular doctor didn't really test or read things correctly. I'm no doctor... But I show so many of the textbook signs of PCOS and the doctor basically said "I can't find anything wrong with you." I'm not trying to doubt her, but I struggle to accept that un-diagnosis. Maybe that's just me and my issues though...

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

GhostMonkey:
Jellybean902:
talon1226:
I'm sorry for your loss and sorry you are struggling. August is the 1year mark for us too. I have my HSG and start Femara after this cycle and it's scary. Have you scheduled any testing yet? That helped give me a little peace because at least it felt like we were doing something to help. Good luck!
Well we did some initial fertility work up tests for me a few months ago. I went to a NFP doctor and I greatly respect their methods but I just have this weird hunch that this particular doctor didn't really test or read things correctly. I'm no doctor... But I show so many of the textbook signs of PCOS and the doctor basically said "I can't find anything wrong with you." I'm not trying to doubt her, but I struggle to accept that un-diagnosis. Maybe that's just me and my issues though...
Fancy that. A doctor that does testing long before it is warranted might not know what they are doing.

True. Albeit, per my request because of so many of the symptoms I was exhibiting...

Twinkie0612 · August 2012

I am 8 days from my 1 year mark. It sucks.

kristykay123 · August 2012

jessuhmarie:
kacelle:
Where is Jessuh when I need her?
JB, I'm sorry for your loss and for your struggles, but I have a really hard time reading your posts here after (summary of MIB drama):
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61848979.aspx
and
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62435941.aspx
Someone flame me if the drama ended better than I remember.
jelly, haven't you and your husband been avoiding since April or so? Unless I misread your blog.
ETA Nope. Didn't misread it at all.

Oh snap

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

wickedsugar:
kristykay123:
jessuhmarie:
kacelle:

Where is Jessuh when I need her?

JB, I'm sorry for your loss and for your struggles, but I have a really hard time reading your posts here after (summary of MIB drama):

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61848979.aspx

and

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62435941.aspx

Someone flame me if the drama ended better than I remember.

jelly, haven't you and your husband been avoiding since April or so? Unless I misread your blog.
ETA Nope. Didn't misread it at all.

Oh snap

I guess she hasn't fixed that lying issue she has..:: Snickers::

More like I'm snickering at your lack of reading skills. Did anyone read the content of my OP? I said that we took a few months off of TTC, so it hasn't been a TRUE year yet.

Wow.

What a hardcore lie that was.

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

bbg676:
Jellybean902:
wickedsugar:
kristykay123:
jessuhmarie:
kacelle:

Where is Jessuh when I need her?

JB, I'm sorry for your loss and for your struggles, but I have a really hard time reading your posts here after (summary of MIB drama):

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61848979.aspx

and

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62435941.aspx

Someone flame me if the drama ended better than I remember.

jelly, haven't you and your husband been avoiding since April or so? Unless I misread your blog.
ETA Nope. Didn't misread it at all.

Oh snap

I guess she hasn't fixed that lying issue she has..:: Snickers::

More like I'm snickering at your lack of reading skills. Did anyone read the content of my OP? I said that we took a few months off of TTC, so it hasn't been a TRUE year yet.

Wow.

What a hardcore lie that was.

You're right - it has been 9 months. April - June = 3 months. I am sorry you are struggling and for your loss.

That said - when you post a thread about "one year mark" when you actually haven't been TTC for one year, it is a bit insensitive to those who ARE actually on the one year mark this month (and there are quite a few of us here).

I get that you are struggling. Every day is a struggle for me. But when you title your post that you are at the one year mark (when you are not actually there), it seems AW-y and manipulative.

FWIW - I never had a problem with you, even knowing your past history on TB. But there are members here who were hurt and angered by your actions the first time around. Then you come back and make posts about being at the one year mark (which is considered the length when the "infertility" label can be applied), when you really aren't officially. With your track record of being less than honest, this is going to stir the pot with some of the older members.

Bbg, I haven't updated my blog in almost exactly three months. That doesn't mean I have been TTA-ing since then... You are right that I haven't been TTC for 12 consecutive months. We took off for two cycles and changed our mind about TTA. I did make the disclaimer that it hasn't been a *true* year, but a calendar year has gone by since our efforts began. I hope that didn't hurt or offend anyone because it certainly wasn't meant to, and if anyone IS offended -- I AM sincerely sorry.

And wicked, I hardly consider correcting incorrect information with a fact to be the same as "a justification for everything." But there "there we have it!" moment I DO see here is your inability to ever admit you're wrong about anything when it comes to someone you don't like.

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

jessuhmarie:
My biggest question is why. Why do you keep coming here? There are loads of other TTC sites out there where you don't have a bad reputation for being a crazy lying liar. Why gbcb like 20 times and KEEP coming back. Why are you here looking for sympathy when really you haven't been trying for a year.. More like 3/4 that time. Why would you even be TTC after the things you wrote on your blog? You had paragraphs of reasons on why you shouldn't be bringing a child into this world, but you come back to a place where a good part of the community doesn't like you and ask for support and understanding when you even said yourself that you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Why do you love this kind of attention?

Why do you care so much? You go out of your way to comment on my threads in a derogatory manner when you don't like me. I haven't updated my blog in three months but you still have the web address? Why bother?

The people on this board rotate. Some are still here, and there's many more new people as well. Have you seen the other TTC message boards? They're not user friendly and the web layout is crap. I'm guessing TB gets the most funding which is why they have the nicest layouts.

Also, for some people, life circumstances change. And in the past three months, my husbands and my life has become extremely blessed. I got a better job that's more family friendly. My husband not only got a job, but in three months time he was promoted to management. Our marriage is fantastic. It has grown through our trials and we've come out on the other side stronger, thankful, and ready to have a family.

But again, why do you care? Why are you wasting so much time and energy on someone you don't like? The only reasons I could possibly think of don't reflect very well on you as a person. So if you don't like me -- fine. I'm not asking you to. But why go out of your way to pick a fight? For what purpose? To get brownie points and accolades from minions? Just leave it alone and how about not stir the pot?

KitT.Kat · August 2012

Jellybean902:

jessuhmarie:
My biggest question is why. Why do you keep coming here? There are loads of other TTC sites out there where you don't have a bad reputation for being a crazy lying liar. Why gbcb like 20 times and KEEP coming back. Why are you here looking for sympathy when really you haven't been trying for a year.. More like 3/4 that time. Why would you even be TTC after the things you wrote on your blog? You had paragraphs of reasons on why you shouldn't be bringing a child into this world, but you come back to a place where a good part of the community doesn't like you and ask for support and understanding when you even said yourself that you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Why do you love this kind of attention?

Why do you care so much? You go out of your way to comment on my threads in a derogatory manner when you don't like me. I haven't updated my blog in three months but you still have the web address? Why bother?

The people on this board rotate. Some are still here, and there's many more new people as well. Have you seen the other TTC message boards? They're not user friendly and the web layout is crap. I'm guessing TB gets the most funding which is why they have the nicest layouts.

Also, for some people, life circumstances change. And in the past three months, my husbands and my life has become extremely blessed. I got a better job that's more family friendly. My husband not only got a job, but in three months time he was promoted to management. Our marriage is fantastic. It has grown through our trials and we've come out on the other side stronger, thankful, and ready to have a family.

But again, why do you care? Why are you wasting so much time and energy on someone you don't like? The only reasons I could possibly think of don't reflect very well on you as a person. So if you don't like me -- fine. I'm not asking you to. But why go out of your way to pick a fight? For what purpose? To get brownie points and accolades from minions? Just leave it alone and how about not stir the pot?

So you were hoping that no one would remember you? You probably would have been further ahead making a new sn (again).

JellyTwoPointO · August 2012

KitT.Kat:
Jellybean902:

jessuhmarie:
My biggest question is why. Why do you keep coming here? There are loads of other TTC sites out there where you don't have a bad reputation for being a crazy lying liar. Why gbcb like 20 times and KEEP coming back. Why are you here looking for sympathy when really you haven't been trying for a year.. More like 3/4 that time. Why would you even be TTC after the things you wrote on your blog? You had paragraphs of reasons on why you shouldn't be bringing a child into this world, but you come back to a place where a good part of the community doesn't like you and ask for support and understanding when you even said yourself that you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Why do you love this kind of attention?

Why do you care so much? You go out of your way to comment on my threads in a derogatory manner when you don't like me. I haven't updated my blog in three months but you still have the web address? Why bother?

The people on this board rotate. Some are still here, and there's many more new people as well. Have you seen the other TTC message boards? They're not user friendly and the web layout is crap. I'm guessing TB gets the most funding which is why they have the nicest layouts.

Also, for some people, life circumstances change. And in the past three months, my husbands and my life has become extremely blessed. I got a better job that's more family friendly. My husband not only got a job, but in three months time he was promoted to management. Our marriage is fantastic. It has grown through our trials and we've come out on the other side stronger, thankful, and ready to have a family.

But again, why do you care? Why are you wasting so much time and energy on someone you don't like? The only reasons I could possibly think of don't reflect very well on you as a person. So if you don't like me -- fine. I'm not asking you to. But why go out of your way to pick a fight? For what purpose? To get brownie points and accolades from minions? Just leave it alone and how about not stir the pot?

So you were hoping that no one would remember you? You probably would have been further ahead making a new sn (again).

Nope, I never said that.

kristykay123 · August 2012

You really should just quit while you're ahead. This is obv not going well for you and you're only making it worse.

bettywhitettgp · August 2012

People who don't like you care because you are continuously inserting yourself into the pity party camp, while belittling the struggles of others. You don't seem to give two sh!ts that you are offending women who are really suffering from what you claim to to suffer from. Unfortunately for you (or more likely for them), there are always going to be women here who remember what an asshat you are.

Thems the brakes when you act like a douche the way you have on so many occasions.

katharine25 · August 2012

bettywhitettgp:
People who don't like you care because you are continuously inserting yourself into the pity party camp, while belittling the struggles of others. You don't seem to give two sh!ts that you are offending women who are really suffering from what you claim to to suffer from. Unfortunately for you (or more likely for them), there are always going to be women here who remember what an asshat you are.
Thems the brakes when you act like a douche the way you have on so many occasions.

This a 1000 times over.

You are a habitual liar, manipulative of people's feelings, and frankly annoying as all hell. I have to give you credit though for not just coming back under a completely new screen name and pretending like you aren't who you are as you have done before, but the never ending questIon is WHY do you keep coming back????

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