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Sloppy Seconds post from the other day!

jkacera15jkacera15
in Blended Families

Funny story....last night I brought up the topic of carseats to my DH and told him my friend is letting us use her infant carseat that is not even 2 years old and was used for 1 child along with the base. that saves us a good amount of money and some space on the registry. I then said though looking at the next step up for carseats, they're still pretty pricey. He looks at me dumbfounded and asks..."whats wrong with the one we have in the garage?" well it looks like its about 5+ years old and has been worn down and we only have it still because i use it for my niece when i pick her up which is only every few weeks. anyway she's almost 3 and weighs a sturdy 35-40 pounds so she doesn't worry me so much. Maybe its selfish for me to not want to put my child in it when he's out of a infant seat but thats over another year away and like i said that seat is already looking pretty beat up. Now my smart @sscouldn't keep my mouth shut though and said i don't want any hand me downs from his first marriage or his ex wife. this of course sparked an argument!! why are some of us women so sensitive to stupid stuff? need to learn to keep my mouth shut and only state the reasonable facts....

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Re: Sloppy Seconds post from the other day!

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    I would not use it even if it was from my own kid if it is old and worn down but being heavier does not help in an accident if the car seat is worn out. If it is not safe for your child I would want a new one provided for your neice too. Have you checked the expiration date on it?
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  • jkacera15jkacera15
    where is the expiration date? if i can find it and its past that i will be tossing it in the trash right away and just borrowing one for my niece. by the time i have a new one she'll be in a high back booster probably.
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  • RhennaRhenna
    The expiration date is usually on the bottom or side of the car seat, not the base.  They are, in general, ok for 5-6 years from date of manufacture.  So even if you bought it 4 years ago it could have been made 5 years ago.  I wouldn't use it if it looks that beat up even if it isn't expired.
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  • karatechrissykaratechrissy member
    Car seats have expiration dates. You should look at the one you are using for your niece. I wouldn't be comfortable with putting my niece in a car seat that old, even if she were 3 and 'weighed a sturdy 30 lbs'. You should add a convertable car seat to your registry. I was really upset that I didn't when I realized that you only use the stupid carrier for so long. My children were both very small babies (always in the 10 percentile at well checks. Healthy, just small) and BOTH were out of their carrier and base around 9 months and we had to put convertible car seats in their place. They get bigger and it's just less and less practical to lug them around in that seat. Secondly, I suggest you have a calm conversation with your H, and tell him exactly how you feel. The sloppy seconds, the wanting to experience your first pregnancy and enjoy it. He probably doesn't realize what you want. My H is not a very 'emotional' person, and thinks more practically. Of course before we had chidlren we talked about things we wanted in the nursery and he brought up 'well we already have a changing table and yada yada yada'. I calmly told him I wanted new things for my first baby, and not left overs from he and BM's marriage and explained how it made me feel. He understood and we did end up donating the couple of things he had left, and we bought new when I got pregnant. Now, I do understand the practicality of it (shizz is expensive!) but we were in a financial position to be able to buy new. (and I didn't get extravagant furniture for the nursery, it was very reasonably priced). 
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  • sld5711sld5711 member

    I think saying that you dont want to use that stuff is a perfectly reasonable fact. I have said that comment to my DH numerous times! And of course every time it leads to an argument.  I dont care if people think I am a spoiled brat but thats how I feel.  He wouldnt want to use anything that I had with an X so why on earth should I?  Oh and he gets on me too because I will take hand me downs from others but not ones that he used.  I think its more of the principal for me but maybe I am just crazy. 

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  • jkacera15jkacera15

    Yeah he tried pulling that on me too...saying something about us using a crib from my brother/niece. i told him...yes...thats my family?? he said...whats the difference? Then obviously realized theres a HUGE difference but i still snuck in there and said...well unless you consider your ex your family still, theres a pretty significant difference! lol

    i just thought it was so funny this argument happened days after someone else posted about the same kind of situation.

    and i'm glad i'm not the only one who has these feelings. as i replied in the other post, its one thing if one of the kids came up to me saying they have a certain toy or stuffed animal they want to give to the baby...but to use something that bm originally bought or picked out or whatever...No thank you!! luckily the thing is old and i'm pretty sure i'm pitching it tonight. definitely checking exp date on it when i get home.

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  • puppylove64puppylove64 member
    Heck yes. I would have said no I don't want any of your ex's hand me downs! You need to tell dh that this is something new and exciting for you and he needs to respect that. And remind him that just because he already has a child, he doesn't know it all. It will be an experience to have a new baby and be with it 100% of the time.
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  • kescalerakescalera member

    I refuse to use things that DH used with his ex & first kid. I do have the excuse that SS is 10 years old though so almost everything is expired or trashed beyond use or already been passed down to other family members.

    That aside, in general, I've discovered pregnancy hormones not only give you "pregnancy brain" they also do a number on the brain-to-mouth filter sometimes.

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  • twister22twister22 member
    imagepiffle42:

    imageLittlejen22:
    I would not use it even if it was from my own kid if it is old and worn down but being heavier does not help in an accident if the car seat is worn out. If it is not safe for your child I would want a new one provided for your neice too. Have you checked the expiration date on it?

    This.  Also, BRU does a trade-in event twice a year where they take in old cribs, car seats, etc, and you get a 25% off coupon to buy a new one.  I'd definitely look into that!

    Awesome advice.

    I'm with you OP, I wouldn't want something from DH's old relationships. Even if it was his kid's, it was still likely picked out by BM and has her style. Also, if you wouldn't use the car seat for your kid, don't use it for your niece. 

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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    imagejkacera15:

    Yeah he tried pulling that on me too...saying something about us using a crib from my brother/niece. i told him...yes...thats my family?? he said...whats the difference? Then obviously realized theres a HUGE difference but i still snuck in there and said...well unless you consider your ex your family still, theres a pretty significant difference! lol

    Actually the difference would be that the old stuff he is referring to was HIS child's stuff not BM's stuff. So, yeah...

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