Intro (sorry so long!)

DaniB18 · July 2012

I've been lurking here for a couple weeks now, and I think I'm finally ready to post our story. I don't know if this is the right board, so please let me know if there is a more appropriate place to post. I have waited to post because I haven't been able to put the words down on "paper", but here it goes...

After years of trying to conceive and going through fertility treatments, my hubby and I found out our February 2012 IVF attempt resulted in our first pregnancy. Our 7-week u/s gave us even bigger news - I was carrying triplets! We were blessed with identical twins (sharing a placenta, separate amniotic sacs) and a fraternal sibling having a separate placenta. A wave of emotions passed over us (excitement, worry, disbelief, worry, overjoyed, worry...) as we started our journey towards multiples parenthood. We immediately agreed that we didn't want to know the sex of our babies, because all the mattered was their health.

All of our visits were going well until at 17 weeks our Peri noticed a size and fluid difference with our identical twins and suspected Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I was sent for an amio fluid reduction on the bigger baby (baby C) and that seemed to correct things, as our next few weeks' appointments showed improvement. We were sent to a perinatal cardiologist at 20 weeks to monitor the smaller baby (baby - the cardiologist was not as positive as our Peri and told us we may lose baby B if things did not improve. I was immediately put on heart medication, in hopes of strengthening our little one's heart. Each week we would get an ultrasound and an update on how things were looking. Both our Peri and Cardiologist believed that if we were to lose baby B that baby C would be ok. At our 23 week appointment, we were given the most devestating news. Our Peri was not able to find a heartbeat on baby B or baby C. We had lost them both sometime during the week. No one knows exactly what happened, but they're leaning towards baby B's heart stopping and baby C being overcome by the extra blood flow.

This was nearly 3 weeks ago, and I'm still lost. I now have two sleeping babies inside my belly and one very active baby (baby A) who I'm trying to keep in for as long as possible, since I'm in my 26th week. I just don't know how I'm going to make it. We are now trying to plan for delivery day, where I will finally meet all 3 of my babies, and find out if we've been carrying boys or girls. I don't know what this day will be like, but I can't imagine the ups and downs that we will experience. I'm having to create birth plans for both our angels and our living baby, plan our memorial/funeral services, change our nursery from 3 babies to 1 baby, and I'm just so overwhelmed by all of it.

As I said before, I'm sorry if this is not the correct board, I just had to get this out now before I lost the words again. Also, I hope I didn't offend anyone by using the wrong lingo, I'm new to message boards, so I don't know the correct terms. We've been saying they are "sleeping" because my belly was so active with 3 of them in there and now there's definitely a void.

Thanks so much for listening - I'm so sorry for all of your losses and I think the support you offer eachother is amazing!

Heatherhah · July 2012

I'm so sorry to say that you are in the right place. All of your lingo is the way I would have put it. I am so totally sorry for the devastating loss of your twins. I have no words to express how sorry I am. I hope we can help you through this time in your life.

First know that you will find strength you didn't know that you had trust me I did and I have no idea how I am here 10 months after my loss. If you need anything we are all here for you always!! Huge hugs to you!!!

Heather

Carolee · July 2012

I'm so sorry for the loss of your babies. You are welcome to post here if you feel comfortable. I will keep you and Baby A in my thoughts. I remember another poster who had a similar situation to yours, but I can't remember her name. Hopefully she'll see this and chime in. Big (((HUGS))).

Williamandshawnna · July 2012

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in the right place on this board, none of us want/ed to be here but we are and the support is so amazing. My story is a bit different from yours, but please feel free to private message me if you want. You, your family and baby A are in my thoughts and prayers.

Petunia844 · July 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult it is to continue to carry all 3 and know that you have lost two of them. I hope you find some support through this difficult journey on this board. ((hugs))

jbranden12 · July 2012

Dani I am so sorry for the loss of your babies. I can't imagine what you are experiencing right now as you mourn the loss of babies B and C while preparing for baby A to come home. I promise that one thing you'll never have to worry about here is using correct terms or lingo. We have all lost our children and progress on our journey in different ways. Feel free to post as often or as little as you like, we are here when you need us.

sebailey6 · July 2012

You don't ever have to apologize for posting a long post...say as much or as little as you need. Sometimes you just have to get it all out in just the right words...even if it has to be long. You will always have a listening and understanding ear around here!

I'm so sorry for the loss of baby b and c...I will be praying for all of you!!

JonesBaby0624 · July 2012

I am so very sorry. I have learned that you cannot say it the wrong way on this board. The women here are amazing and if you stumble on your words they hear you anyway. They seem to be able to hear from your heart not just your words.

You and your family will be in my T&P's.

karebear57 · July 2012

I am so very sorry for your loss of babies B and C. I will be keeping you, your dh, and baby A in my thoughts. We are here anytime you need us.

AmyG2b · July 2012

I'm so sorry for the loss of your two babies. What a terribly hard thing for you to have to deal with. I'm sure you have many different emotions. You are definitely welcome here, and I hope you find some comfort. I'll say a prayer for you, and little baby A's health.

Lavender&Lillies · July 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your babies. You, your husband and all of your babies will be in my thoughts. I hope you will continue to seek support from this board. All of the woman here are amazing.

tuscanbride2007 · August 2012

I am so very sorry for your losses. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers as you begin to make all of your arrangements. I hope that you will find some comfort among these amazing women. We all come from different situations, but we all know what it is like to lose our child(ren).

((HUGS))

HollyBee1022 · August 2012

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your babies. I wish you all the best as you and your husband prepare to take home Baby A and plan your memorial for Babies B & C. Please feel free to post here whenever you want. Unfortunately, we all know what it's like to lose a baby, so we are here for you in any way we can be.

Bayberry12 · August 2012

I am so sad to have to welcome you here, but glad you found us. I can't even begin to imagine all of the emotions you are going through right now, but please know that I am so sorry for your losses. I will be thinking of you.

Auki13 · August 2012

You are definitely in the right place, but I am so sorry that I have to welcome you here. My heart breaks for you and the loss of two of your babies. You will definitely be in my T&P's as you go through the rest of your pregnancy, delivery, and saying hello (and unfortunately goodbye) to your babies. I will also keep baby A in my prayers that s/he can be born as healthy and strong as possible. Please let us know if you need to vent/ask questions/anything, we will be here for you. (((HUGS)))

lmielocl1 · August 2012

I am so sorry to hear about baby B and baby C! I am praying that Baby A will stay inside of you growing for as long as possible. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. Please know you are in my thoughts & prayers.

- Leslie

~ Mommy to Aaron, 21 months and to our angel, Ethan, born sleeping at 18w on 6/15/12. Missing you so much!

Bread09 · August 2012

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of 2 of your babies and I'm glad to hear that baby A is still doing well. Back in November I lost one of my twins shortly after birth and the other twin is very healthy. We knew at our 19/20 week appt that there were issues with our Baby A and that Baby B was fine. We were hopeful and given hope on an off over the next few months. About a week before, Baby A stopped growing and we chose to not deliver as it was still a tad to early for Baby B and there was going to be nothing we could do for Baby A to save her.

It's hard when there's one healthy one and others that aren't...there is such a mix of emotions and so hard to say good bye to one (two in your case)as you're trying to parent the other. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk more!!

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