Attachment Parenting
ESUJessey
member
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Crib or no crib?
ESUJessey
member
Hi, I've been thinking about what to register for and whatnot, and I'm torn on the whole crib thing. I want to do several attachment parenting things, but I'm wanting to hear from people who have experience on the crib or no crib thing. I plan on using a bassinet right next to my bed in the beginning so it's easier to feed and attend to baby, but what do people do once baby has out grown the bassinet? My sister, who does AP, co-sleeps with toddler in the bed. I'm not against this idea, but not 100% sure if it would work for us. I also thought about putting a mattress on the floor in their "room" but figure it would still be for later on when they are a bit older. I guess I'm wondering what people do with that age between outgrowing bassinet and still being too little to sleep alone in a room (that without a crib, they could easy get up and wonder the house). Idk, thoughts and advice? Use bassinet then go to crib (possibly still in parents room)? Use bassinet then co-sleep until old enough to stay in their own room on a mattress? Thanks for any help on this.
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Re: Crib or no crib?
We bedshare at night, and use the crib for naps during the day.
Now that DD2 is mobile, she starts the night off in the crib so I know she's safe. Then bring her to bed after her 10pm feed. (we also use a bedrail in our bed)
I personally wouldn't choose to be without a crib. It gives me a space to put her to sleep during the day that I know she is safe and contained. It also gives me a space to pop her down and I know she's safe and contained during the day if I need to do something like go and hang out laundry.
Her having her own safe space has also been valuable with w second baby and a toddler.
I BW, but I prefer not to BW for large chunks of the day. So how you see BW factoring into your life might make a difference.
If you think you'd have the crib in your room, perhaps a pnp would suit you? depending on how large your bedroom is?
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
We used a cosleeper for the first few months until she absolutely refused to sleep in it. I never intended to bedshare, but I actually really love it. I think a lot of it will depend on baby. Some of them want their own space and a crib works great. Others crave the constant physical contact with mom, even at night. If you at all think you might bedshare, get your bed ready now while you have the time and energy. Read up on safe bedsharing so you know how to do it right. My preference would be a king sized bed on the floor, with the head of it pushed up against the wall and the sides of it several feet from the wall. A wool blanket, and a supportive pillow for your back so you can side-lie nurse.
I would wait it out and see what happens when LO arrives. Sometimes what you plan on doing doesn't play out the way you want it to.
When I was pregnant with my first, we always anticipated we'd roomshare until 2-3 months then move him into his own crib so we bought a crib/decorated a nursery. In reality we never used a crib (or the nursery). We switched between bassinets/cosleeping until 6 months, then he slept in bed with us from 6 months-20 months. At 20 months we moved him to a full sized bed in his own room. He thought the crib was some sort of torture device and never slept in it. Although now when DD wakes up in the morning, he scales the crib and they both jump up and down in it like it's a trampoline. LOL.
With #2, she never took to cosleeping that much. She always preferred her own space. We kept her in our room until 12 months, then moved her in her own room in a crib at that point.
You can always purchase one if you feel it would work well for your family, but you don't have to buy it ahead of time either. Maybe do some research as to what model you'd want so if you find you need it, you're ready to just go buy one.
It's funny. I also had a bassinet/PnP that I planned to use right next to the bed and no crib. She used the bassinet for exactly half an hour the first night home and slept in bed with me for six months after that. I did use it now and then to have a place to put her for a minute, but it didn't get used much at all. We got a crib when she was around 4 months which we sidecarred for a while and then moved into her room. We have gotten much more use out of that. Totally not the way I planned it. LOL!
ETA: DD took 98% of her naps in the Moby for the first 6 months. The rest were if she happened to fall asleep in the car.
We do a combo of bedsharing and crib. If you want to cut something, cut the bassinet. That would not have been used in my house, not out of ideology. My baby slept better with me than away from me.
A crib can also be sidecarred to make your bed bigger (although then you lose the cage aspect of containing a mobile baby).
Really, you don't decide all this in advance. Give yourself a couple options with a newborn and figure things out as you go. Do what works for you, your DH, and your baby.
An Arm's Reach Cosleeper also works well - I got one late, but used it a bit as a cosleeper and now it's our pack-n-play bed when we travel. More adaptable than a regular pack n play.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
We had a crib with both kids, and used it primarily for naps, or if they went to sleep before DH or I wanted to.
We have a king-size mattress that's been on the floor pretty much since DS1 was a baby. DS1 and DS2 have both taken naps on it when they were little, and we make sure the room is baby-proofed. We've also put a crib mattress up against our big mattress, and they've slept there. We use a monitor, and check on them with any peep, pretty much, since they aren't contained.
DS1 transitioned to a toddler bed when he was 24 months, and DS2 now sleeps on a twin mattress in our bedroom, but away from our bed. You can always get a crib for cheap on Craigslist, and it will take a few months for the baby to outgrow the bassinet. hth
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
We have a side-carred crib. After 1, DS started sleeping between us, but that is not part of safe bed-sharing when baby is younger. When DS started crawling at 9 months we started him on a floor bed in his own room until his first night waking after we were in bed (he joins us at that point). He has never wandered the house. He stays in his bed of his own will and cries out for us to get him or--these days, since he is very mobeil--he walks to his door, opens it, and then toddles to our room for snuggles. His room is baby-proofed in case he chooese to stay in there and play alone, but he's rarely ever done that.
Our room
Floor bed in baby's room
More Green For Less Green
(was referring to side carred crib)