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Two Under 2
What happened to my toddler's nap? (3 week old + 20 month old)
Hey mamas-
I've got a 3-week-old DS and a 20-month-old DS. Loving life with the two of them, and I think it's going well, all except for one thing...
Literally, since the day I came home from the hospital with DS2, DS1 has begun waking early from his afternoon nap. That alone wouldn't bother me, especially since his nap is always over an hour (although it used to average around 3 hours), but he's waking upset, tired, and cranky. I try to give him time to get back to sleep just in case, but he's so busy crying when he first wakes, and then talking in his crib, that he never gets back to sleep.
Is this a normal, age-related nap regression? Sibling-related? Anyone else experience this? Advice?
Thank you so much in advance for all your insight. This group and all of it's mamas rock!
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Re: What happened to my toddler's nap? (3 week old + 20 month old)
I would guess it's sibling / transition related. I would treat the situation with consistency and do what you would have done before baby. For me this would mean timed interval CIO, based on Dr. Ferber's recommendations. It's always worked for us.
At 15.5. months my DS was taking two naps a day for two hours each when DD was born. The transition proposed potential changes, but I was consistent and DS maintained his nap schedule. At closer to 2y he transitioned to one nap for three to four hours.
Did you happen to move your 20m from a crib to a bed with new baby's arrival? I hear about set backs a lot in that scenario.
My 2 kids are 18 months apart and we had a lot of nap issues with DD after her baby brother arrived. For us I think it was mainly b/c our schedule was completely altered. DD was in DC up until baby bro was born and then stayed home with me. In DC she played hard and then napped really good. I think when she started staying home I let her sleep in a lot later in the morning and she also wasn't getting as much activity, so she just wasn't tired enough for her nap. So lots of days she wouldn't nap. I started making sure we were getting out of the house everyday to go to activities or the playground. That really really helped me get her back to her nap schedule. However she naps later in the afternoon than before b/c she doesn't get up as early in the morning. Also if you transition to a bed (we did about 2months after DS was born) that further messes up the naps, and I think some of it is age as well. I would make sure that you are on as consistent a schedule as possible, get your child plenty of activity, and realize that it may not go back to the way it was before. Good Luck, I know its tough!
We had a lot of sleep changes with our older child when the baby was born. He was 16.5 months old and gave up his morning nap soon after the baby came home. He also started waking up 1-3 times a night and had been a rock star sleeper until then. Fast forward 20 months, I'm due with #3 and he started having sleep issues about a month ago, possibly in anticipation of another new baby joining our house. The biggest challenge I had with his changes early on in #2's life was discerning whether the change was normal for his age or related to his sibling. Ultimately, I have had to acknowledge that I'll never know and it doesn't matter but I understand your desire to separate the two issues.
The best thing you can do is to try to keep things as consistent as possible for him - however you have handled sleep challenges in the past is how you'll ideally handle them now. If that doesn't work b/c you simply can't be the same mom to 2 kids, don't beat yourself up. Our transition was rough for the first 4-6 weeks and then everyone slowly settled into a new normal. There are so many benefits to your kids of being close in age that you can't feel badly about the things you aren't able to give them by virtue of taking care of two that are so young.
Just try to take deep breaths and see if the phase passes or if you can come up with an interim solution (reading books in his crib when he first wakes up until his mood is better?) until he settles himself into his new routine. One thing is certain - everything will continue to change for both of your children as quickly as you blink your eyes for the next couple years.