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2nd Trimester
NOT breastfeeding
I'm choosing to not breastfeed when our baby is born and it seems like everyone just assumes that I am! It's really annoying when I tell ppl that I'm not planning on breastfeeding and they still say "well give it a try" Its not something I'm comfortable with and I've never pictured myself as someone who is going to breastfeed. On the other hand I am going to try to pump first before formula so it's not like my baby isn't going to get the benefits of breast milk. Anyone having this problem? Advice?
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Re: NOT breastfeeding
I breastfed, and plan to this time, but I also pumped. I have a friend that pumped for the first full year. It is possible to make it work pumping only. I wish you luck though because it is quite the commitment to pump. Alot of women on the breastfeeding board and the working moms board will have insight for pumping only.
Something I'm going to do different this time is make a hands free bra. My friend said she made her own by cutting the nipple holes out on sports bras and tucking the cups in when she pumped. I hope it works for me. I would really like to have my hands free to get things accomplished while pumping.
Its the milk that is good for the LO so if you pump then who cares. Honestly who should care about what YOU do anyway!? Do what you think is right for you and your family! Not everyone can or wants to breastfeed and that is their choice!
If you're going to pump, just make sure you keep at it or your supply might get low. I've was told every two hours. I didn't do it as often last time and my supply slowly dwindled. Best of luck to you!
In a lot of ways, pumping is even more work/time than breastfeeding. It would definitely be quite the commitment, just FYI. Many moms do EP, but it's more often than not a result of having issues with baby being able to nurse.
That being said, I think it's great that so many people around you are supportive of BFing, because that wasn't necessarily my experience. I guess my only advice is to try and understand where others are coming from. I, too, am of the mindset that every woman should at least give it a try, unless they are medically told not to. But I also am friends with lots of women who, due to legitimate concerns/issues had to give up BFing, some within a week, some after 3 months, and FF. And I totally respect that decision. But to me, the benefits of BFing vs. FF are such that I feel every mom should at least try it if they are able to and they're aren't any issues preventing them from doing so.
So is the only reason you've decided against it because it seems weird to you? That's the vibe I got from your post. I think this is natural before baby comes; I had those apprehensions, but grew to really enjoy BFing. I think people are saying, "give it a try," because it's much easier to avoid regret in your decision later on if you knew you tried it and it just didn't work out.
You can do whatever you want, but I think your attitude is odd and that's probably what many people are thinking. It's hard to make a decision on BF w/out ever trying it. I'm of the opinion you should at least try it. Pumping is a HUGE PITA and BF can be much nicer and often easier. That said, I totally understand if you try it and it's not for you, or, whatever, if you really just don't want to...but I still think it's weird to just decide now that you just want to pump.
This is going to sound odd given the advice above, but I thought BF was really, really hard. I had really bad nipple pain for the first 6 weeks or so and I didn't know if I could do it. I had a love/hate relationship with BF, but later, it was good, and often easier than bottles. I ended up going more than a year. I don't think there's anything wrong with not BF, but I just don't get why you wouldn't want to just try it.
BFP#1 on 02/14/09 BIRTH to Mason 6lb9oz on 10/12/09
BFP#2 on 5/28/11 EDD 2/1/12 Natural M/C on 6/13/11
BFP#3 on 1/20/12 EDD 9/30/12 Natural m/c on 1/27/12
BFP#4 on 4/23/12 BIRTH to Isabella 7lb1oz on 12/19/12
I agree with this; at the end of the day as long as your baby is growing and healthy then it really isn't anyone's business what you do. I will say that my sister had to exclusively pump and it was a major PITA (because you have still have to pump every few hours in addition to feeding the baby), but if that's what you want to do then find a good breast pump and give it a go!
If someone asks if you're going to breastfeed or use formula, simply state, "I'm going to feed my baby." That's all that matters.
It really does not matter which route you choose; it's a personal choice. I nursed/pumped for about 4 months and then became a full time EP until I weaned from the pump when LO was 13 months. We also had to supplement with formula from time to time (when I got sick and lost my supply for a few days, when LO wasn't gaining weight, etc).
I tried so hard to BF with DD. I cried everyday and had so much pressure from nurses, DH and my doula. I had a lactation specialist and still DD would not latch so I only lasted a month with pumping before my supply became no more. A lot of people judged me and even nurses at my pedi's office gave me a hard time for FF. You just have to do what you think is right. The baby needs to eat. I never felt bad. DD is growing just fine.
I am definitely going to try again with DD2 though. Every baby is different so hopefully she latches.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I agree. You're asking for it by telling them you aren't going to breast feed instead of just saying you're going to try to pump
If you are planning to pump, you are planning to breastfeed, you just aren't planning to physically nurse the baby from the breast. It's not right of people to judge even if you were planning to go straight for formula, but it's just something that people do.
If I were in your situation, I would tell people that I plan to pump, not that I don't plan to BF, because like I said before, you are BF-ing. That should get rid of at least some of their judginess. I think that once you say you are not planning to BF, most people assume that you plan to FF and unfortunately many people make judgments based on that.
Ultimately, all that matters is that you are, indeed, feeding the baby. Try your best to ignore them, as it really is none of their business as long as the baby is getting the nutrition he/she needs to grow. Mommies have enough things that cause guilt to deal with on a daily basis, this shouldn't be one of them.
ETA: From my own personal standpoint, I don't think I could ever pump exclusively. I can kind of see where they are at as far as giving it a try. Even though you say it seems odd and turns your stomach, you might want to consider trying. But if you don't, that's your decision, and as long as you feed that baby, that's what matters.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
This. I'm planning on trying to just pump too, but I usually just answer 'yes' to breastfeeding questions. It's really no ones business to ask you what you plan to do with your breasts after you give birth. I don't feel like it is something people should feel as comfortable asking about as they do. They wouldn't ask you what you were going to do to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles back up after giving birth, so why is it ok to ask you about your breasts?
I absolutely plan on breast feeding based off all the information supporting the connection & the immune boost you give your child.
I think as long as you're getting your child breast milk [by pumping and bottle feeding] you're missing out on the "closeness" but it's extremely beneficial to your newborn. I think you should pump for as long as possible.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
As someone who EPed from the beginning with both of my kids, I disagree with this. DS was fed exclusively breastmilk for 7 months but I only pumped for a little over 5. With DD I quit after about 6 weeks for reasons other than supply.
Like the OP, the action of nursing was very uncomfortable for me but I wanted my kids to get the nourishment of breastmilk. I tried nursing both but it didn't work for me. Me being so uncomfortable with it probably added to my giving up when I did.
I will say that DH being not only supportive but involved is the only thing that made it possible for me to EP. When he was home, he would do the feeding while I pumped. This allowed him to develop a great bond with our kids from the start. When I was alone with baby during the day, I would bottle feed, put baby to sleep, and then pump. My DS was a very easy baby and slept really well (and went down quick and easy 99% of the time). If he had been a fussy baby, I don't know that I would have had the time to pump like I did.
In the end, it's your kid and your decision. You have to make decisions based on what is right for your family, not the opinions of others.
I'm glad you didn't have supply issues, but many women do when pumping: https://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/pumping_decrease/
How gross. Grow up. If you aren't ready to do what is best for your child, don't have one. Get a dog.
I was also wierded out by nursing. However, I did for the first month, just because I wasn't used to DS's eat/sleep routine yet and it was quick and convenient. After a month, I was pumping only, and did so for 7 months. The only times I ever nursed were when he woke up hungry in the middle of the night (he was STTN at 2 months, so I was lucky there).
I was VERY uncomfortable with nursing, not only for myself, but when we had people over or were out of the house. He still got breastmilk though, so it worked out well. I didn't think it was a PITA to pump.
Oh FFS, serioulsy?
My cousin made fun of me and said " Well enjoy having saggy breasts when you are done." None of my cousins breastfed, so it is not "normal" in my family. They didn't even attempt to. If you are so bothered by what people say, just say, "I am not sure what I am going to do."
While it was said in a somewhat harsh tone, I agree.
I don't think that pumping = breastfeeding. I definitely have no issues with mothers who were unable to BF and therefore pumped. Pumping is hard and kudos to them!
But why wouldn't you try? It makes you uncomfortable? That is just ridiculous.
The benefits of breastfeeding go beyond the baby getting breast milk. Sometimes you have to do things that you don't feel 100% comfortable with to make sure you baby gets the best that it can.
And to be mad about it? I just don't understand...its not like people are trying to force you to smoke crack while pregnant and harm your baby. People are hoping they can steer you into trying to provide your baby with the best that you can offer.
If you tried, and then couldn't BF, then so be it. That is another subject, just keep in mind the amount of women who actually can't breastfeed is quite minimal.
I know that some women have supply issues when EPing from the beginning. However, you said "your supply will suck". You should have said "your supply might suck".
You should be ashamed of yourself.
There are so many women that are not able to breastfeed (myself included) and you are not even willing to give it a shot? Shame on your. Breast is best and it kills me every day that I put that disgusting man made formula into my babies system instead of what is natural. I had a medical reason for not being able to breastfeed and before I gave up I saw multiple consultants and tried everything on the face of the earth to get my milk to come in. And you would just easily throw it all away. You sound like an un fit parent and lazy.
Did you miss the part where she said she was going to try pumping? How does that make her an unfit or lazy parent?
I'm really sorry that it didn't work out for you, especially after you worked really hard to try and make it happen, but that doesn't give you the right to condemn the OP for not having the same opinion as you.