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June 2011 Moms
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oh dh

SunidazeSunidaze member
in June 2011 Moms
The man seriously has no concept of money!  A big reason why he stayed in the Guard as long as we did is because of the extra paycheck every month.  He's out, that extra money is no longer coming in, there's tons of work that needs to be done to the house...and his new (within the last 6-7 months) hobby is starting to run up the tab.  He's decided he wants to compete in triathlons (it's a guy thing...one of his buddies is now doing iron man competitions, so now DH feels the competition).  All fine and dandy, till you start looking to add and/or upgrade equipment.  A new bike?  A good one could run into the several thousands (he bought one for a triathlon back in '07 and hasn't used it since).  Special suits for swimming.  Shoes, shoes, shoes.  Heart rate monitors, blue tooth headsets for the ipod.  The last thing he is checking out is some sort of garmin trainer watch thing - he posted on facebook asking opinions.  I googled this one out of curiosity...it appears to average around $400.  I totally called him out on it and reminded him that we have a certain room (the bathroom) that he has been promising for several years to complete.  Irritated.
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Re: oh dh

  • LollyBug18LollyBug18 member
    MH does marathons and I get annoyed with all the costs for that, I'm so glad he doesn't want to bike and swim too. He had some friends interested in doing a relay triathlon recently but I'm glad it didn't work out. DH's ultimate goal is to qualify for the Boston Marathon and run that. I'm hoping he reaches that goal soon so he'll back off on the running. It seriously takes up sooo much of his free time to train.
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  • SunidazeSunidaze member

    imageLollyBug18:
    MH does marathons and I get annoyed with all the costs for that, I'm so glad he doesn't want to bike and swim too. He had some friends interested in doing a relay triathlon recently but I'm glad it didn't work out. DH's ultimate goal is to qualify for the Boston Marathon and run that. I'm hoping he reaches that goal soon so he'll back off on the running. It seriously takes up sooo much of his free time to train.

    This X1000!  As I drove to work this morning, I thought about that.  He now spends at least 3 hours at the gym - trying to run for great distances as well as swim.  He works third shift.  We have so much that needs to be done to our house, he does not have the time to do it.  I feel a 'come to Jesus' talk coming on when he gets home from the gym tonight.  I think a big part of what is driving him is wanting to compete with his friend.  However, his friend has a daughter that is now a teenager, they live in a nice new house that is NOT in the city, etc. 

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  • amberproamberpro member

    I FEEL YOUR PAIN.  It feels like every month DH is picking up a new hobby, spends a crap ton on it, then abandons it.  Biking and disc golf were his 2 latest.  I was hella irritated when he took up photography (holy crap, can you say expensive???), but that has actually turned into an incredibly lucrative side job so I was wrong on that one.  

    What irritates me sometimes is I feel like I spend all my extra on C and house extras when he gets all this play money.  I WILL say, though, he works really hard and has been getting a lot better at making sure I have play money, too.  And now we have a new goal to sell this house, so I hope he sticks to our new budgets.

    I agree that it is probably time for a come to Jesus.  My sniping and passive aggressiveness made our situation worse.  Once we actually talked about it and he knew how I felt... he got mad and sullen for a bit, then came around and understood :).   

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  • SunidazeSunidaze member
    imageamberpro:

    I FEEL YOUR PAIN.  It feels like every month DH is picking up a new hobby, spends a crap ton on it, then abandons it.  Biking and disc golf were his 2 latest.  I was hella irritated when he took up photography (holy crap, can you say expensive???), but that has actually turned into an incredibly lucrative side job so I was wrong on that one.  

    What irritates me sometimes is I feel like I spend all my extra on C and house extras when he gets all this play money.  I WILL say, though, he works really hard and has been getting a lot better at making sure I have play money, too.  And now we have a new goal to sell this house, so I hope he sticks to our new budgets.

    I agree that it is probably time for a come to Jesus.  My sniping and passive aggressiveness made our situation worse.  Once we actually talked about it and he knew how I felt... he got mad and sullen for a bit, then came around and understood :).   

    Yep...you totally understand me.  We have kept separate accounts...and that has never been an issue...but my paycheck goes to Stella's daycare and now the bills I am going to be getting for her tubes (since I am on the stupid HSA) and her clothes and shoes.  And then add to that, I needed new clothes because of the weight that I lost.  And then I haven't even bought a new pair of gym shoes in nearly four years.  Top that with we want to get the hell out of the city before Stella starts school, he is insisting on a new build, there's a shitton of work that needs to be done to our house before it is even sellable.  I will need to reign in my temper before I see him tonight.

    And lastly...I really really wanted to go away for our anniversary this month.  He said we just couldn't afford it.

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  • amberproamberpro member
    imageSunidaze:
    imageamberpro:

    I FEEL YOUR PAIN.  It feels like every month DH is picking up a new hobby, spends a crap ton on it, then abandons it.  Biking and disc golf were his 2 latest.  I was hella irritated when he took up photography (holy crap, can you say expensive???), but that has actually turned into an incredibly lucrative side job so I was wrong on that one.  

    What irritates me sometimes is I feel like I spend all my extra on C and house extras when he gets all this play money.  I WILL say, though, he works really hard and has been getting a lot better at making sure I have play money, too.  And now we have a new goal to sell this house, so I hope he sticks to our new budgets.

    I agree that it is probably time for a come to Jesus.  My sniping and passive aggressiveness made our situation worse.  Once we actually talked about it and he knew how I felt... he got mad and sullen for a bit, then came around and understood :).   

    Yep...you totally understand me.  We have kept separate accounts...and that has never been an issue...but my paycheck goes to Stella's daycare and now the bills I am going to be getting for her tubes (since I am on the stupid HSA) and her clothes and shoes.  And then add to that, I needed new clothes because of the weight that I lost.  And then I haven't even bought a new pair of gym shoes in nearly four years.  Top that with we want to get the hell out of the city before Stella starts school, he is insisting on a new build, there's a shitton of work that needs to be done to our house before it is even sellable.  I will need to reign in my temper before I see him tonight.

    And lastly...I really really wanted to go away for our anniversary this month.  He said we just couldn't afford it.

    Yea... that irritates me when he says we can't afford something, then comes home with 2 new pairs of shoes.  I think your best bet is to go in with a sample budget and a plan.  That's what I had to do.  And I've had to do it over and over again for months.  I think he is finally on board with me, though.  

    I've also been trying to get him to go on a long weekend.  I just keep sending him links to places and bringing up how nice it would be to get away.  I even picked out a weekend and got my parents to agree to watch C (cause that was hard).  Now all he has to do is help me save for it.   

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