September 2012 Moms

Crap DH says...

DH has said a lot of random things throughout this pregnancy which sometimes result in a death stare. But last night I could not believe what he said. I was looking at my disappearing belly button when DH came in the room and said that it looks like a butt hole. I had nothing to say in response to him after that one.

I'm sure you ladies have a few examples of random stuff your husbands say, so let's hear them!

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

 

Re: Crap DH says...

  • My husband makes up a lot of songs (most have the same tune), which I generally find annoying and secretly cute at the same time. He'll come up with one and sing it for a few days... His most recent one is entitled 'big bumps', and he sings about my "big belly, big boobs, and big butt"

    Most days I find them endearing (he's never mean or malicious in them), but there are some days where it's just like.. nope. not today.
  • Loading the player...
  • DH has not said anything out of sorts, he'll say something about being a daddy or something silly and I always come back with something SNARKY like..."who said you are the father" and then he just gets a hurt feeling look on his face and I tell him "if you cant handle the comebacks then don't say anything"...must be I'm the bishy 1 :)
  • "Your butt is so much more jiggly now."

    Um, thanks...? That's sorta what happens when you put a baby in there and a bunch of lbs.  


            image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageklgrh6:

    DH has said a lot of random things throughout this pregnancy which sometimes result in a death stare. But last night I could not believe what he said. I was looking at my disappearing belly button when DH came in the room and said that it looks like a butt hole. I had nothing to say in response to him after that one.

    I'm sure you ladies have a few examples of random stuff your husbands say, so let's hear them!

    Hey, my belly button has soaked up some major pigment.  The whole inside is splotchy brown.  It looks like a butt hole!!  Is yours darker too??  Or is it just me Confused

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=exp&TT1=exp&CL=40&CT=W&CG=F&O=m_baby1&T=t_e20&D=20140508&M1=&D1=20150212&T2=ahhhhhhhhhh!&T1=&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=&SC=green
  • Early on in pregnancy, I noticed that I'd broken a milestone in my countdown to baby.  I turned to DH and said, "Hey- I'm under 200 today!"  He replied "Awesome, babe, you look hot at that weight!"  Given that I started around 135, I'm not sure what possessed him to think I'd gained over 65 pounds in the first tri, but at least he thought I looked good ;).
    image
  • My youngest sister has been staying with us for two weeks while she's on summer break. (She's 17.)  While DH and I were talking about driving her home this weekend, (a few hours away), he was complaining that he would have to drive 4 HOURS... wah.  He was the one who agreed to it in the first place.  When I offered to drive part of the way he emphatically told me, "NO."  

    When I asked why he had a problem with me driving, it wasn't because I would be uncomfortable, he didn't want there to be extra stress for me, etc...  No.  It was because "I am pregnant and emotional and I may not be good at driving long distances."  I almost punched him.  Good.  That a$$hole can drive the whole way and now I want to play backseat driver.  Serves him right. 

    ETA: My DH has verbal diarrhea.  He doesn't think about what he is going to say before he says it.  Like that one time a few months ago I mentioned going kayaking.  DH: Can you kayak while pregnant?  Me:  Yeah, why?  DH:  Can you FIT into a kayak???  <--Thanks, hon.  You're the greatest. This is just a small sampling.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • My charming DH asked me last night when I would be getting my hottness back.  This, of course, was after I broke wind to relieve cramping in my stomach...soon enough, DH, soon enough.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • DH always quotes the movie "Knocked Up"

    "F*uck you, hormones!! You are a crazy B*tch, hormones!  Not Jaime - hormones!!"

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • "Your belly can't get any bigger...it just can't.  You're huge!"  Face it hubby, this kid is going to gain twice as much weight in the next 7 weeks.....I think I will get bigger!!!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I will say my DH has been wonderful this pregnancy- he has been better than I expected.

     But, a few months ago we were getting in bed and he said, "who is going to get up with itty bitty (our nickname for baby) during the night- I mean, I have to work the next day." I plan on breastfeeding and staying at home, so I already knew the answer to this and fully expected to be the one to get up during the night, but him wording it like that made me so mad! I didn't say anything, but the next night I told him that I fully expect for him to be on diaper duty when he is home from work.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • You look like a gumball today. 
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagetinyhumantoe:

    Hey, my belly button has soaked up some major pigment.  The whole inside is splotchy brown.  It looks like a butt hole!!  Is yours darker too??  Or is it just me Confused

    Same here. The skin that was once inside my belly button is the darkest, so now that it's showing it definitely looks like one.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     

  • imageklgrh6:

    imagetinyhumantoe:

    Hey, my belly button has soaked up some major pigment.  The whole inside is splotchy brown.  It looks like a butt hole!!  Is yours darker too??  Or is it just me Confused

    Same here. The skin that was once inside my belly button is the darkest, so now that it's showing it definitely looks like one.

    Yesssssssss........ I'm glad I'm not alone!  I told DH, "my belly button looks like a butt hole," and he said, "You're beautiful." 

    Me:  "I'm so fat" (which I AM)          DH:  "You're beautiful."
    Me:  "Does this shirt look okay?"    DH:  "You're beautiful."
    Me:  "I have heartburn."                  DH:  "You're beautiful."

    Apparently someone coached him on how to survive.  He took it a bit too literally, ha!!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=exp&TT1=exp&CL=40&CT=W&CG=F&O=m_baby1&T=t_e20&D=20140508&M1=&D1=20150212&T2=ahhhhhhhhhh!&T1=&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=&SC=green
  • imagetinyhumantoe:
    Yesssssssss........ I'm glad I'm not alone!  I told DH, "my belly button looks like a butt hole," and he said, "You're beautiful." 

    Me:  "I'm so fat" (which I AM)          DH:  "You're beautiful."
    Me:  "Does this shirt look okay?"    DH:  "You're beautiful."
    Me:  "I have heartburn."                  DH:  "You're beautiful."

    Apparently someone coached him on how to survive.  He took it a bit too literally, ha!!!

    Haha, that's cute!

    MH has been pretty good as comments go, but he told me he's not really worried about taking care of a baby because "it'll be easy." I think he's in denial or maybe still shock, even. He won't even hold our niephies because he is afraid.  

  • imageallierhiana1:

    "Can I go golfing when I'm on paternity leave? I don't want to be cooped up in the house all day"

     

     This!  Only mine didn't put the "Can I" at the begining.  Little does he know........... Wink

     

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I have been RELIGOUS about creams/oils/lotions for stretch marks...the other day I was asked if I have been researching how to make my boobs not get saggy... GREAT J

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageBookelly:
    Early on in pregnancy, I noticed that I'd broken a milestone in my countdown to baby.  I turned to DH and said, "Hey- I'm under 200 today!"  He replied "Awesome, babe, you look hot at that weight!"  Given that I started around 135, I'm not sure what possessed him to think I'd gained over 65 pounds in the first tri, but at least he thought I looked good ;).
    Yes
  • Last night I commented that I wanted him to bring the cradle into our bedroom (its currently in our nursery) in a couple of weeks. He asked why and I gave him a blank stare and said because I want the baby close to me at first so I don't have to get up when I hear the baby. His response "The baby is not sleeping in here and  I'm just going to shut the door so that I can get some sleep!"

    I just gave him the death stare and moved on with my evening. He still thinks that he's right. He's not!



     
  • imagejaimenamie:

    DH always quotes the movie "Knocked Up"

    "F*uck you, hormones!! You are a crazy B*tch, hormones!  Not Jaime - hormones!!"

     

    My husband is guilty of yelling this at me as well! Along with some other gems like - "Well, your body is ruined... that's what all people with kids say, right?!" I just had to look at him and walk away. He doesn't think at all before he speaks.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • The other day my husband was pointing to my arms, legs, face and he kept say "that's my wife", "that's my wife", and then pointed to my belly and said "that is not my wife".  No sh*t sherlock, its your son!

  • After leaving the "Prepared Childbirth" class the other night my SO says to me, "I think after learning about all those possible side effects, you should just go natural."

    I gave him the death stare.  I said, my plan is to go natural if I can handle it. If I can't then I'm getting the drugs.  When you push a kid out, you can go natural. Angry

  • My fiance told me as I was walking away from him one day that I don't look pregnant at all from behind. Because he said that I turned around to say aww thanks but as i turned around he says "but damn you look pregnant when you stand like that".  Compliment ruined hunny. **shakes head**
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • "The baby is not sleeping in here and  I'm just going to shut the door so that I can get some sleep!"

     I would have bitched him out if I were you, that is just CRAZY! He obviously doesn't know what it's like to be a parent!

  • DH was taking a belly shot for me yesterday.  Instead of "say cheese" he says, "say moo!"  Silly man!

    THe best ever though, not while I was pregnant, was when our oldest was about two, DH had his appendix removed.  He was SUPER whiney, and I guess I wasn't being sympathetic enough, so he told me I didn't understand what major abdominal surgery felt like.  I quickly reminded him of when they cut my bell open six incehs and pulled out a human, as opposed to poking a hole in his belly and taking out an organ the size of his thumb.  He was quick to blame the pain meds he was taking for his stupidity!!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"