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Natural Birth
pammi2003
member
"You don't need to suffer"
pammi2003
member
This is what my doctor told me today when I told her I did not want an epidural for this delivery.
I will clarify and say that I do love my OB. She is very caring, understanding and always takes the time to address all my concerns (She even pulled me out of work at 32 weeks due to come complications) So I do like her a lot.
But I knew from the very beginning that I did not want an epidural whatsoever with this pregnancy. I had a very bad experience with it with my first and did not want the same experience. For once, the anesthesiologist could not find a proper space in my back to inject the needle (He said my back had too much bone mass or something) and when he finally found a space, I flinched like crazy because the needle hurt like hell. He then yelled at me that I couldn't move at all. Whatever.
Then after 30 minutes of numbness, the epidural completely wore off. Big waste of my time.
So, I have been preparing myself for a natural birth at the hospital and knew I was going to do this on my own (I can't afford a doula or midwife) but I was a little sad my doctor assumed I needed to have an epidural.
I do want to stand my ground and refuse the offering of drugs, I'm just scared that I am going to break down when labor becomes too much for me.
If you had a natural labor at the hospital, how was your experience? Was your doctor supportive in your decision in laboring natural? How did you stand your ground?
Thanks!
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Re: "You don't need to suffer"
I also had a bad first birth experience with an epi. I delivered my first prematurely, and honestly hadn't had my birth plan or thoughts in order, so I felt very easily persuaded.
This time, I plan to be very upfront that I do not want and epi and prefer not to have one offered during delivery at any time. If I want one, I know I can ask for it, but I do not need to be reminded that its there. I think this will help me focus on what is going on and not other alternatives.
I've been focusing myself with positive people and thoughts and hope I can make it through. I think my main thought is going to be focused on how temporary the pain will be and to just get through the next contraction.
Also, if I feel like I'm going to cave, I'm going to have DH suggest to myself to wait another hour and re-evaluate. My main reason for caving last time was because they wouldn't check me and I thought the pain would last all day...little did I know I was 8 cm dilated...I almost had the worst part done!
Anyway, that may seem like rambling, but that's my approach. I don't have a doula/MW either fwiw.
Thank you so much! You made me feel a whole lot better. All the stories I've been reading about natural birth, the women either have a doula or mw and that terrified me. My hubby is the only person who is going to be in the room with me and I'm already molding him into a great coach
I'm in early labor as we speak (4 cm, 80% effaced and contractions every 10 minutes) and so far so good!
My doctor, who didn't even make it to my birth, was really on board. We went to a group practice and the first person we met with was the CNM, who didn't do hospital births anymore. She helped us decide which OB we wanted to have care with, and ours was the same age as us and a new mom herself. When we told her that we were doing Bradley classes to prepare for natural birth she was really supportive. She even told me that in her experience, Bradley couples were the best prepared for birth, so that was encouraging.
Unfortunately, she worked all weekend before I had my son so another OB from the practice was actually there when I gave birth. She too was great. I had it in my birth plan that I didn't want anyone to ask me if I needed drugs, that I would ask for them if I needed them. Really, the only person who didn't seem to be completely on board was my L&D nurse. When she asked if I'd seen the epidural video, I told her no, my OB had said I didn't need to watch it since I wasn't planning to get one. She told me if I did end up wanting one I couldn't get one if I didn't watch it. I told her I wasn't going to watch it, and she said, "Okaaaaaay", like, "You're going to regret it later!" But then she calmed herself down after a few hours when she saw how well I was handling it.
I was able to get in the shower, which was helpful, and I was able to drink liquids. DH snuck me some snacks to eat here and there. Since it was a slow night in our hospital, the nursery came to us after the birth and DS didn't have to leave our sight. Overall, there wasn't much to complain about. I think having DH as my coach and advocate was very important, since he was with me all day.
My suggestion would be to practice normal abdominal breathing; get in a shower or tub if you can; have something to press into your back if the pain gets too bad (we had part of a foam pool noodle); don't be afraid to change positions, or vocalize; and probably most importantly, stay home as long as you can. I wish I had stayed home a bit longer, but I was GBS+ and had to get antibiotics, and my contractions were coming 2-3 mins apart so we thought it would be quicker than it was.
Good luck!
Man, I haven't ever thought of it as suffering... I'm not going to suffer, I am going to birth a baby. Big difference. Suffering is pointless, birthing a child is absolutely NOT pointless. When pain has a purpose I don't see it as suffering because I think suffering is something that is needless.
I have been very pleased with how the doctors (well, students and residents) have reacted to my plans. None have been negative at all toward the fact that I want to go med free, and they've all mentioned how good it is that I have a doula. I'm glad the reactions have been positive across the board because there's no telling who will be in to deliver my baby; I'm not sure if residents do it or not, but if it's an attending physician, it won't be anyone I know because I don't get to interact with them. The residents all consult with the attendings so I have to just hope that the attitudes are similar!
blog! thescenery.net
My OB said something similar to me. I ignored it really because
1-it's not suffering, it's birthing a baby and now that I did it...Yes it was the most painful and intense experience of my life but I never felt like I was "suffering.". It's totally manageable with the right preparation. That's like saying that Running a marathon is suffering.
2-it's my prerogative if I want to "suffer.". No one else should really care what pain I feel. It's my choice. No one pushed the EPi on me but I did have some trouble with the nurses wanting me to labor in certain positions.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Thank you for saying this. This is exactly how I feel but never could get the right words out to explain it to people who wouldn't give med-free birth a thought.
I had a med-free hospital birth with no doula or midwife. I brought my birthplan, all the nurses read it and were mostly on board. While I was having contractions (before pushing stage) an OB I never met before (I went to a group practice also) came in and said something like "you know, an epidural can relax and open you right up." I said I was doing fine on my own and didn't want one. That was last offer of an epi to me. After that I progressed rather quickly and was probably past the point of getting one anyway.
My point is, you CAN do it without a mw or doula with you! As long as your DH is on board with your wishes and can encourage you, you can do it! Good luck!
Well, it's a bit late to tell you to switch doctors, but really... if you have a third, switch.
My doctor was 100% supportive. Everything I discussed with her from my birth plan, she gave a big thumbs up. She never asked if I wanted drugs. She let me deliver in the position I was most comfortable in. I did have a doula, but honestly, she didn't do much at the hospital. She was more useful at my house.
The book "The Birth Partner" is excellent for husbands (and I liked it a lot for me).
Really, you know what you want. Your DH knows what you want. You know it didn't help to get the epi last time. Try to labour at home so you minimize your hospital time, and you'll be fine.
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I was actually atypical in that I was a high risk pregnancy and due to the nature of my risks, my doctor, my perinatologists, and the hospital OB's were all very much suggesting natural birth.
Basically, I had a) clotting factors in my blood (though I've never had a clot), so b) was on blood thinners and c) am allergic to Lidocaine.
They do not want to do a c-section on someone with blood clotting issues or who has been on blood thinners, and they sure don't want to do one under general anesthesia, which they would have had to do due to the lidocaine allergy. So they were all behind me having as natural a birth as possible, as having an epidural (which I actually couldn't have, it would have been an interthecal and they would have had to use a morphine derivative) would have upped my chances of a c-section.
On the last day of my labor, when they started pitocin just after the new nurse shift came on, they gave me a nurse who had previously been a nurse/midwife and had overseen a lot of natural births, and that was amazingly useful to me because she knew what to expect, that I wanted a natural birth, and that my doctors wanted it, so she was super supportive. I was never once offered any painkillers, just tons of offers and aids in using alternative pain control (though the hospital did not allow water births, I was put in a warm tub for the entirety of transition, or instance.)
"I'm not going to suffer, I am going to birth a baby. Big difference. Suffering is pointless, birthing a child is absolutely NOT pointless. When pain has a purpose I don't see it as suffering because I think suffering is something that is needless."
I think this was really well put. I did not have a doula or midwife, just my husband. We read a book call Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, which I found immensely helpful for a husband-coached birth experience.
I just posted a link to my birth story on this board, titled "Natural Birth in Hospital, 1st Baby." I would say that my doctor was not unsupportive, but she wasn't gung ho about it either. Same for the nurses. To be fair, they see a LOT of women who say they want a natural birth during their pregnancy, and then it doesn't work out that way. They're jaded and I can't blame them.
No one tried to push an epidural on me, though at one point I thought I might need one. My advice would be to labor at home as long as you can, and understand that when you just don't think you can take any more, you are almost there. It's the fear of the unknown that's the worst part. You reach a plateau, but you don't yet know you're at the peak until it's over. You'll see
Best of luck to you! You can absolutely do this if it is what you want.
I felt that my doctor did not mean anything by her comment, I know she has met many women also who say they are going natural and eventually break down during labor and demand drugs, so I know in the back of her head she is thinking I will be the same.
But at my appt, I made it very clear to her that I opted for a natural labor and she did advise to labor at home as long as I can, which is exactly what I intend to do.
I did not read Natural Childbirth The Bradley Way, but I did read Birthing Within and it has helped me so much to mentally prepare myself for labor. The techniques to dealing with pain are amazing!
Thank you everyone for your advice!
My OB was not very supportive when we told her that we wanted a natural birth. She made a comment about how with IFM, our baby could die or that when in active labor that I wouldn't want to be walking around anywhere or standing up.
We considered switching at the time but decided to stay with her because she was on a rotation system anyways. I only had a 1 in 7 chance of having her be on call that day. Also the way it works, you don't get to meet the other OB's either before hand. So we decided to stay with her and it turned out to be that she was on call that day. She didn't show up till after I had been pushing for half an hour. She literally caught DD, stitched a small tear and left.
I created a birth plan that stated I wanted a NB and to not offer any pain medication. My nurse was really good. She did the basics, heplock, checked how far along I was and then left me alone to do my thing.
This time around we are considering a completely different hospital and that would mean driving farther but ultimately I think it will be worth it. I was lucky with DD and had a easy (no complications) delivery. This next birth may not go as smoothly and I don't want to my provider to be suggesting interventions if they aren't really needed because my labor is not "text book".
The "you don't need to suffer" is definitely something my husband says. I think I will try using some of the explanations here to better explain to him how it's not pointless suffering, but we'll see how it will go! Ultimately he's going to support whatever I do, but it would be nice if there was like some sort of switch that I could flip to get him feeling the same as me.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
You know, I took Penny Simkin's class and even she said at one point, "You don't have to suffer." She said it in that if you are barely coping and loosing it and still have a ways to go, it's okay to get relief.
Knowing of the line between suffering and coping is important and you will know when you are looking at it.
That said, really, childbirth pain has a purpose and it is not forever. One contraction at time and the hours fly by. I remember being in it and it seemed like I would look at the clock and then again and it was hours later.
My DD is 8 months old
I had planned on waiting as long as possible to get the epidural or not get it at all. I was induced (which I won't be doing ever again). I had started to dilate and efface at 32 weeks (1cm 75%) and by 39 wks I was 4.5cm 80% and at 40 3/7 when I was induced I walked in at 5cm 90% still not in labor.
When I told the OB on call that I didnt want the epi he said "you don't have to be a hero", which really made me mad. I just wanted to see how everything went without. Anywho. I labored without until about 8cm when they turned up my pitocin and sent me into overdrive - I asked for the epi, when they checked me right after the epi I was 9cm... I regretted getting it and asked that they keep it on the lowest dose possible. So I labored until 10cm with the epi for about another hour. What was nice about my epi was I could still move both my legs and feel my contractions somewhat. I wasn't ready to push right when I hit 10cm and actually sat at 10cm for another hour before I felt like pushing. While I was pushing I lost focus on my contractions and was pushing per the monitor - I was getting no where and the damn OB threatened me with forcepts if I didn't get the baby out soon (mind you, I had only been pushing for 30 minutes!). The pictocin was also causeing fetal distress and decellerations. So I took matters into my own hands and told them to turn off the epi and pictocin. I refused to push until my body told me to push and I had her out in 10 minutes.
***Do not let anyone push you into anything! Even if you do end up getting an epi - like me - you have the option to turn it off and still do what you need to do! You don't need to suffer, that is true - but labor is how YOU perceive it. Find the power within yourself and embrace it.