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BM miscarried how to help SD understand

aggy34aggy34 member
in Blended Families
bumping from my phone sorry in advance for the formatting  we found out on sunday that bm was expecting and on tuesday she miscarried.  bm did talk to sd 6 about it but she doesnt seem to understand that the baby is gone.  we have sd this weekend and i know she will want to talk about it and i need some advice on what is best to say to her.  tia
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Re: BM miscarried how to help SD understand

  • sld5711sld5711 member
    I suffered a m/c after we told my SD (4) she was going to be a big sister.  About 2 weeks after she started having questions about the baby and my DH just told her that the baby went to be an angel with God.  I dont know if she did understood him or not but that answer seemed to work for her. 
    BFP 11/23/11...CP 11/29/11 BFP 12/28/11...Natural MC 1/19/12 BFP 2/22/12...EDD 11/2/12 new EDD 10/28/2012 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member

    yikes that is difficult.  how far along was she? While I completely understand discussing it with SD, you shouldn't feel obligated to get into nitty gritty details.  anything you aren't comfortable with tell her she needs to discuss it with mommy. 

    hopefully SD will be satisfied with something like pp said that the baby is an angel now 

                           
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  • twister22twister22 member

    imagesld5711:
    I suffered a m/c after we told my SD (4) she was going to be a big sister.  About 2 weeks after she started having questions about the baby and my DH just told her that the baby went to be an angel with God.  I dont know if she did understood him or not but that answer seemed to work for her. 

    Absolutely perfect. Since your SD is 6, you may be able to share a little more, and explain that it's okay to be sad.

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  • twister22twister22 member

    imagesld5711:
    I suffered a m/c after we told my SD (4) she was going to be a big sister.  About 2 weeks after she started having questions about the baby and my DH just told her that the baby went to be an angel with God.  I dont know if she did understood him or not but that answer seemed to work for her. 

    Absolutely perfect. Since your SD is 6, you may be able to share a little more, and explain that it's okay to be sad, etc.

    image
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  • sabrina69barnessabrina69barnes member
    Our kids knew about one of my miscarriages.I thought I was "safe" so we told them and then I miscarried a few days later. I wasn't able to tell them so DH had to. He just told them that God changed his mind and that he decided to keep the baby. That satisfied them then. They did have a lot of questions when I was pregnant with DS3 though.
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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    What explanation did BM offer?  I think this is one of the times it pays to know what the other parent has put forth, just for the sake of not confusing the child.

    My SDs mom also had a miscarriage.  BM told her the baby went to be with God, so that is what we told her also, even though we aren't particularly spiritual.  When she got pregnant again SD had a lot of questions, so we got together with BM and explained that the baby was very small and wasn't growing properly so he or she couldn't be born.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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