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September 2012 Moms
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How to respond to email? Shower shiz....

tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member
in September 2012 Moms

Even though this is my first child, I made the decision to not have a baby shower as soon as I found out I was expecting.  Long story short.... my family is crazy.  My bridal shower/wedding caused drama and nasty whispers that are still trailing on. 

Well............last week my nasty crotchety great aunt called my mom to tell her that people are chit-chatting about how I am rude and inconsiderate (and I'm 100% sure she is the seed for all of this).  Even though my mom let them know I am not having a shower, they think there is a big conspiracy and that we have had a secret shower without them.  Hilarious. 

Last night I got three random FB messages from distant cousins asking when the shower is (these cousins are very sweet - but not in the same circle so apparently whispers have traveled far, ha).  How do I explain that I'm not having a shower?  Do I explain at all? Some valid reasons are 1) we just got married a little over a year ago, so it seems like we just had a bridal shower, 2) my work schedule and work travel are so overwhelming.  I am afraid they will think they weren't included on the invite list (which doesn't exist).  TIA.



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Re: How to respond to email? Shower shiz....

  • Sage4200Sage4200 member
    I like the "we just got married a year ago" excuse
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  • tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member

    imageSage4200:
    I like the "we just got married a year ago" excuse

    "We decided not to have a baby shower since we just got married a year ago."  Then finish up with a cordial email?  That actually sounds okay.  Why the F was I making this so hard?

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  • brideandbrevebrideandbreve member

    If I were you, I'd keep it real in the response to the cousins:

    "I know there have been some rumors about us having a 'secret shower,' but the truth is that DH and I asked that a shower not be given to us for reasons A, B, and C. I hope you guys understand where we're coming from."

    As for your great aunt, she sounds like a real peach. Super Angry

     

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  • SarahJean0SarahJean0 member
    I'd just say that its nice of them to think of you, but you aren't having a shower. If they are people you'd like to meet the baby, maybe offer to have them come visit after the baby comes?
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  • Manx4Manx4 member
    imageanitalynn:

    Well, I don't think that a recent wedding shower is a reason to not have a baby shower.

    However, I do think that if you don't want to have a baby shower, that's your right. So just say: "I'm sorry! I am not actually having a baby shower, but thank you so much for reaching out to me about it." and leave it at that.

     

    I agree!

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  • MarisaKathleenMarisaKathleen member
    imagebrideandbreve:

    If I were you, I'd keep it real in the response to the cousins:

    "I know there have been some rumors about us having a 'secret shower,' but the truth is that DH and I asked that a shower not be given to us for reasons A, B, and C. I hope you guys understand where we're coming from."

    As for your great aunt, she sounds like a real peach. Super Angry

     

    This.  I'd be honest and just tell them that you're not having a shower, but I'd also let them know that the secret whispers have not gone unnoticed.  I wouldn't say it in a mean way, but maybe try something like "I don't want to feed the rumor mill, so here's the real story." or something lighthearted.

    Good luck!


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  • tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member
    imageanitalynn:

    Well, I don't think that a recent wedding shower is a reason to not have a baby shower.

    However, I do think that if you don't want to have a baby shower, that's your right. So just say: "I'm sorry! I am not actually having a baby shower, but thank you so much for reaching out to me about it." and leave it at that.

     

    That's what I was afraid of.  Maybe I'll just let them know I'm not having one, and continue with a nice email about other things.  

     

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  • senorita04senorita04 member
    imageanitalynn:

    Well, I don't think that a recent wedding shower is a reason to not have a baby shower.

    However, I do think that if you don't want to have a baby shower, that's your right. So just say: "I'm sorry! I am not actually having a baby shower, but thank you so much for reaching out to me about it." and leave it at that.

     

    I agree with all of this. Be honest about your reasons. You don't have to get into a whole lot of detail if you don't want to, and it's better than making an excuse. The reply given above is a good example. If they think you secretly had a shower without them, that's their problem.

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  • tinyhumantoetinyhumantoe member
    imagesenorita04:
    imageanitalynn:

    Well, I don't think that a recent wedding shower is a reason to not have a baby shower.

    However, I do think that if you don't want to have a baby shower, that's your right. So just say: "I'm sorry! I am not actually having a baby shower, but thank you so much for reaching out to me about it." and leave it at that.

     

    I agree with all of this. Be honest about your reasons. You don't have to get into a whole lot of detail if you don't want to, and it's better than making an excuse. The reply given above is a good example. If they think you secretly had a shower without them, that's their problem.

    I agree.  I'll just leave reasons and excuses out of it. 

    Mentioning anything about the drama or whispers is just as bad as the drama itself, IMO.  Hopefully the whispers will fizzle out quickly! 

    Thanks for all of the input ladies.   Smile

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  • BakerMommyBakerMommy member
    imagetinyhumantoe:
    imagesenorita04:
    imageanitalynn:

    Well, I don't think that a recent wedding shower is a reason to not have a baby shower.

    However, I do think that if you don't want to have a baby shower, that's your right. So just say: "I'm sorry! I am not actually having a baby shower, but thank you so much for reaching out to me about it." and leave it at that.

     

    I agree with all of this. Be honest about your reasons. You don't have to get into a whole lot of detail if you don't want to, and it's better than making an excuse. The reply given above is a good example. If they think you secretly had a shower without them, that's their problem.

    I agree.  I'll just leave reasons and excuses out of it. 

    Mentioning anything about the drama or whispers is just as bad as the drama itself, IMO.  Hopefully the whispers will fizzle out quickly! 

    Thanks for all of the input ladies.   Smile

    ITA.  Stay above the drama and let your great aunt look petty and ridiculous.   

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  • 3monkeysmama3monkeysmama member

    imageSage4200:
    I like the "we just got married a year ago" excuse

    Yes

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