Does anyone else do this?

HawkJr · July 2012

Every major hurdle we get through is such a relief. Then when we get to a new step, I obsess about that. Like now, I've had my trigger shot, i cant stop being scared that I will ovulate all my eggs lol. Im obsessing about what if none of them fertilize if they do retrieve them. Geez! I just want my mind to relax!!!!!!!!!!

k8teeinTX · July 2012

Totally! Although, with each IVF I feel like I've been more and more relaxed. That doesn't mean those thoughts don't creep in, though. When our last cycle/pregnancy ended in such a freak way (life/uterus threatening hospital stay), I guess I just finally realized that I literally have no control over this process and obsessing about each step will not change that. That said, I am starting to get nervous about this upcoming cycle. Now, though, instead of just worrying about the "regular" IVF stuff (follicles, egg quality, fertilization, etc.), I'm also worried about another cervical pregnancy! As my husband says "it's always something"! Just part of the process I guess. IF bites!!

melkel559 · July 2012

Yep! The mind is always going. Constant cycle of wait, obsess, cry or feel relieved, more waiting, more obsessing..you are not alone!

mrsjami · July 2012

Guilty:)

liz4paws · July 2012

I feel the exact same way. I am a manager by profession, and I feel like I try to over-manage my IF to the point of obsession. I have learned that I go from healthy manager to massive control freak when the issue at hand is something that is near and dear to my heart. And having a child is something we all want more than anything else in this world, so it's no wonder we scrutinize every detail of our cycles. I have personally had to make it an cognitive exercise to remind myself that I trust my RE, she drives this IVF ship MUCH better than I ever could, and by stressing out I can actually be harming the process. Thank goodness for acupuncture and guided meditations to try to mellow me out some.

But bottom line, you're right - there is nothing we can really do. And relaxing is a lot easier said than done, but try to take care of yourself and know that I'm sure a lot of women feel exactly the same way. For example, I feel like I'm going to be that random person that Lupron Microdose won't suppress and this cyle will all be ruined. It is totally irrational, but I think it is normal to think of all of the 'what if's" throughout such an important process in our lives. Hang in there!

daiseydooda · July 2012

Also guilty

BellaLux · July 2012

I'm already having panic attacks and we haven't even started our cycle. I was just telling DH this obsessive worrying due to IF is relentless...it's just so much pressure when you are investing so much time, money and energy without a 100% guarantee of a take home healthy baby. But hey, what other options do we have!

Good luck!

ShelleyBQ · July 2012

Also guilty! I worried about Oing before ER, then I worried that not enough eggs would be mature/fertilize, now I'm worrying that they're not growing properly. It's really difficult when we're so used to being able to have some control- if we try hard enough, work hard enough, we can achieve our goal. This is one goal that just doesn't work that way though.

JBDamonM · July 2012

Oh totally - my most ridiculous one was - going into ER and not having any eggs anymore (not even that I would've ovulated, just that they would be gone)..... It's brutal! Never a dull moment!

ksfrye · July 2012

I'm right there with you! I just try to look back at the hurdles and be proud of where I'm at now. We're some strong ladies!!!

blu-gsgyrl · July 2012

Of course....lol! I over analyze everything and then obsess about what if's!!! Crazy I know

lol

fabulouspinkmady · July 2012

I will most likely be obsessing over every step as well seeing as how IVF#1 was such a fustercluck! I think it's par for the course when it comes to IF. Like PP said, there is so much emotional (and financial) investment for something that is not guaranteed.

Good luck to you!

HawkJr · July 2012

Ive even gotten scared that somehow my husband wont be able to provide his sample!!!!

CutieGirlLissie · July 2012

That sounds like me...

k8teeinTX · July 2012

HawkJr:
Ive even gotten scared that somehow my husband wont be able to provide his sample!!!!

I bet he's afraid of that, too! Even if he won't admit it ;-) I know my DH is! All par for the course unfortunately. Do you have the option of freezing sperm for back-up? We did that & it took a lot of pressure off DH.

lalee73 · July 2012

IF is not for the faint of heart!! All the wondering, and what if's would drive anyone a little crazy. And believe me...we have all been there! But as people have said most of it is out of our control. And as hard as it may be you just need to try and not worry because stress never helps any situation!

Good luck with everything!

Mayzie15 · July 2012

Completely done this - IVF is a roller coaster ride and you keep having to jump hurdles again and again fx that this is your cycle!!

Maybe Joleisa · July 2012

HawkJr:
Ive even gotten scared that somehow my husband wont be able to provide his sample!!!!

Yes to all the obsessive thoughts listed--especially this. Tongue Tied

Kiki33 · July 2012

Absolutely - the majority of us do that I am sure.

I do not want to scare you, but during my first IVF cycle, they retrieved 27 eggs. All the nurses were thrilled - talking about how incredible it was. I was on cloud nine when I left my retrieval. It never even crossed my mind that something bad could come out of 27 eggs. Well, I got a call the next morning that not one of my eggs fertilized. I heard the news and just collapsed. (In an effort to make you feel better, the Dr said it was VERY rare and I did fertilize with ICSI next time).

2nd IVF cycle I was terrified ICSI wouldn't work, but we had an incredibly success rate - the news was amazing. I even got a positive pregnancy test, but ultimately miscarried.

Now I am onto my 3rd cycle and the constant thoughts about what else can go wrong are never ending. Unfortunately, I think the honest truth about all of this is that it is an emotionally draining experience, but we suffer through it so that we may have a family. Just know that if something does go wrong - take time to mourn, but pick yourself up and get a new plan with your Doctor. Every time something goes wrong with a cycle - it is a learning experience.

Good luck!

mkhiker · July 2012

Guilty as well!

MBfromBMC · July 2012

I used to be this really calm, carefree, relaxed chick...

...and then IF happened.

Now I obsess about every little thing. Seriously.

Just last week, I was convinced that my cousin did my trigger shot too low and that it wouldn't absorb properly because it didn't hurt enough. I think I have lost it.

chitwngal2010 · August 2012

i totally feel ya on this one!

liz4paws · August 2012

MBfromBMC:

I used to be this really calm, carefree, relaxed chick...

...and then IF happened.

Now I obsess about every little thing. Seriously.

Just last week, I was convinced that my cousin did my trigger shot too low and that it wouldn't absorb properly because it didn't hurt enough. I think I have lost it.

This is SO ME!!!!!

Does anyone else do this?

Re: Does anyone else do this?

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