October 2012 Moms

This sounds awful but....

Is it worse to ask for my mother to throw me a baby shower or host my own? :/

We currently have two beautiful girls ages 3.5 and 1.5 and we had a huge shower for my first and nothing for my 2nd becuase we were having a girl and the seasons where the same. However we did have a christening for number 2 and she recieved alot of gifts from that...

I just felt like we didnt CELEBRATE her arrival becuase her sister was spoiled...

Now we are expecting a boy!! Our gear is neutral colors...but clothes and diapers would be fun :) something small. Even just some cake to celebrate?

Is that asking to much?greedy?

Re: This sounds awful but....

  • imagealrdytkn1222:

    Is it worse to ask for my mother to throw me a baby shower or host my own? :/

    We currently have two beautiful girls ages 3.5 and 1.5 and we had a huge shower for my first and nothing for my 2nd becuase we were having a girl and the seasons where the same. However we did have a christening for number 2 and she recieved alot of gifts from that...

    I just felt like we didnt CELEBRATE her arrival becuase her sister was spoiled...

    Now we are expecting a boy!! Our gear is neutral colors...but clothes and diapers would be fun :) something small. Even just some cake to celebrate?

    Is that asking to much?greedy?

    Simple answer: yes

    ETA: I thought I was on 2nd Tri....

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  • Neither is good but asking your mom to host one is the lesser of the two evils I suppose. 
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  • It is in poor taste to "ask" someone to throw you a shower, though it is much worse to host your own gift giving event such as a shower. FWIW, I am not in the "only one shower and only for FTMs camp" but I would say that yes "asking" for a shower or throwing your own would be greedy. :( However, if someone offers to host one for you, I'd say a small simple shower would be okay.

    There are plenty of ways to CELEBRATE a baby that do not include your family and friends having to purchase gifts. You could host a meet the baby party, a small casual get together, heck even doing some really nice maternity portraits, a "babymoon" or having a spa day with a friend would all be nice ways to commemorate your third pregnancy. GL!

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  • Bummer, Party planning is fun. Something to look forward to between now and birth...

  • imagealrdytkn1222:

    Bummer, Party planning is fun. Something to look forward to between now and birth...

    I know! I am the resident party planner in my circle of family/friends and love to plan baby showers! My sister offered to host a small shower for me for this LO and keeps asking me to get ideas and such and I keep gently reminding her that I am really okay with whatever she does and that I really should not be planning my own shower lol! Hopefully, someone will offer to host a shower for you for this LO. ;)  

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  • Honestly, I feel like having a shower at all for your third especially when your LOs are still so young seems very tacky and greedy. Have a meet and greet party for her when she comes home, sure, but an actual shower.....I say no.
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  • ok then....more cake for me :)  Maybe im just craving cake...
  • imagequeenie521:
    Honestly, I feel like having a shower at all for your third especially when your LOs are still so young seems very tacky and greedy. Have a meet and greet party for her when she comes home, sure, but an actual shower.....I say no.
    Yep. This exactly.
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  • imagequeenie521:
    Honestly, I feel like having a shower at all for your third especially when your LOs are still so young seems very tacky and greedy. Have a meet and greet party for her when she comes home, sure, but an actual shower.....I say no.

    Agreed to this. 

  • Definitely just throw a "meet the baby" party! Many people will want to give you a gift upon your LO's arrival anyway.  And you get to have a party. I don't think it's greedy to want your 3rd baby to be just as celebrated and special as the others, but I agree that it shouldn't be a shower, per say.  Just spread the word to your parents and close friends that you would like things like diapers or boy outfits.  I know in my family if you want to know what to get a new mom, you ask the new mom's mom: she has the inside scoop Wink
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  • imagequeenie521:
    Honestly, I feel like having a shower at all for your third especially when your LOs are still so young seems very tacky and greedy. Have a meet and greet party for her when she comes home, sure, but an actual shower.....I say no.

    I ditto this.  My DS is 4 and I am having a girl this time (we think... I had one ultrasound where the tech said boy, and one where a different tech and Dr said girl).  I did have one friend who offered to throw me a shower but I told her if she'd like to do one after the baby is born that's cool, but otherwise I'm opting out.

    I get that you are having a new gender to you but 2 other kids that are so young I would say it's not appropriate.  Some would even say that your *mom* throwing you one with all that makes it even worse.

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  • I agree with PPs who mention having a meet the baby or doing nice newborn photos. Or go out with some friends for a spa day and virgin margaritas, but definitely no on hosting your own shower or asking someone to host!
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  • I am planning on hosting a meet the baby get together after our son is born because hubby really wants everyone to come over and see him.  It has been 9 years since we had our daughter but I am going to buy what he needs.  If people bring something for the baby that is great but it will not be requested or expected.
  • imageaprilchristine90:
    I don't think it would really be appropriate to ask someone to throw a shower for you. But seeing as most of your baby gear is neutral colors, have you thought about throwing yourself a "sprinkle"? I am a FTM so I haven't had experience with it myself but I have seen where others have hosted them for themselves, or for DH and his buddies. Outfits, Diapers, other things that you couldn't use from your two little girls. I don't really think it's greedy or selfish to want a shower or some other celebration before the baby gets here. You just have to be careful how you go about it. 

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  • I would say no as well.

     I am having my 3rd, boy then girl and now boy, but my kids are 4 and 5. We are not having a shower and no one has offered anything. However, we will probably have a meet the baby BBQ if the weather holds out here, We usually have a BBQ every fall but with the baby this year decided to hold off and hopefully do it after baby arrrives. If the weather is to cold we will not. May be instead of a shower you could do something like this?

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  • imagesjgurl784:

    imageaprilchristine90:
    I don't think it would really be appropriate to ask someone to throw a shower for you. But seeing as most of your baby gear is neutral colors, have you thought about throwing yourself a "sprinkle"? I am a FTM so I haven't had experience with it myself but I have seen where others have hosted them for themselves, or for DH and his buddies. Outfits, Diapers, other things that you couldn't use from your two little girls. I don't really think it's greedy or selfish to want a shower or some other celebration before the baby gets here. You just have to be careful how you go about it. 

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  • No, that is tacky and greedy....sorry to say, but true.
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  • No to both options you're considering. I'm guessing no one has offered to throw one because you don't need one - you've already got two small children. I wouldn't offer to throw you one either.

    My tent is in the "you get one shower" camp which butts up next to the "throwing your own shower is greedy" camp.

    I might make exception if there is a major age gap in between children (we're talking like...10-15 years here) but even then, you NEVER throw your own shower.

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