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1st Trimester
Unexpectedly expectting -- oh my gosh!
Well - what a surprise this was. I'd like to give a little intro to myself and describe my situation.
I am 26 years old, my boyfriend of a mere 9 months is 29 (he will be 30 in a couple of months). We have stable jobs, but are still going to school and trying to find stronger careers. We have lived together for 8 months, and our relationship is healthy and strong. He works nights, I work days, and we make every moment we have together worth it.
I was married once before at 19 and separated at 23. Three of those years, I attempted to get pregnant, two of which with the assistance of a fertility doctor. I never got pregnant. So imagine my surprise, when believing I couldn't have children, that this miracle has occured.
To be quite honest, my first reaction was one of fear, and I immediately thought I would not keep the pregnancy. My boyfriend had the same first thought. Then, as it started to sink in and I adjusted to the idea of being a mom, my views changed. Yesterday, we verified I am 7 weeks pregnant (I know, very early yet) and we got to see the baby's heartbeat. My BF actually had a few moments of excitement instead of fear.
My family and friends are elated. Yes, things are out of order. Yes, our relationship is still young. However, we are both very dedicated to one another. Unfortunately, his parents were not at all excited, supportive, or even understanding. I am heart broken. I wasn't exactly expecting excitement, but I wasn't expecting a completely negative reaction. His mother told me she wasn't ready to be a grandmother (she's in her mmid 50s) and since we told them, she talks to me with disgust in her voice.
I'm at a loss. My BF is now on the fence as to if he wants to keep or terminate the pregnacy. I've made my decision, and I refuse to kill this miracle. I'm prepared to do this on my own.
I'm hoping that someone here has had a similar situation, or can offer some advice or comfort as to how to cope with all this negativity. I'm trying to focus on the positives. My BF, a baby born at a mere 22 weeks, is now expecting his own baby. He's been fantastic with me, so supportive and kind. I just don't know how to help him be OK with a decision to parent when his parents are so obviously against it.
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Re: Unexpectedly expectting -- oh my gosh!
This 100%. They'll love the baby the minute they hold him/her for the first time!
BFP on 7/27/12.
Suspected Miscarriage on 8/14/12 @ 6w1d..
Ectopic found & removed from right tube on 9/7/12 @ 9w4d.
Continued trying for another year.
HSG Oct 2013 shows Left tube clear, right tube blocked.
BFP Nov 2013. Miscarriage at 5w3d.
BFP Jan 2014. Ectopic- found and removed from left tube 6w2d.
On to IVF.
Hydrosalpinx found in right tube. Oct 2014.
Remaining portions of Right and Left tubes removed 1/6/15.
Started BCP FEB 24, started stims Mar 18. Antagonist protocol. (menopur, bravelle, cetrotide)
"Slow responder" - stimmed for 14 days.
Triggered with 5,000IU norvarel. 8 Follicles. 5 Retrieved. 4 Mature. All 4 fertilized w/ICSI.
OHSS- Transfer cancelled.
2 Embies made it to day 5. Both 4ab; frozen.
FET Scheduled for May 20th!!
1 5ab frosty transferred.
BFP @ 4dp5dt
Beta: 12dp=248 | 14dp=648 | 25dp=7,442
Couldn't have said it better. And the baby is in your body, so if you want to keep him or her, that's your prerogative. So glad you've decided to have your miracle!
Thank you so much everyone - it feels great to get some POSITIVE feedback. I know this is out of order, but we are willing to do this together (mostly, my BF is still "on the fence" as he says about becoming a father). But he's vowed to not let me do it alone. I think he really just needs some positive feedback from his family - hopefully his paternal grandparents will be on board when we tell them tonight!
God bless everyone and their families.
What horrible things for his parents to say!! My parents became gparents at 43. MIL was 44. She joked that she wasn't old enough, but that's her fault (she had dh 2mo after her 18th birthday), not mine. lol.
Give your bf a little time to come around on his own (without his parents' stupid opinion). I think that most men struggle with the reality of becoming a daddy, whether it's planned or not. My dh was 26 when our first was born (also a surprise, though we were engaged and got married when I was 16w along) and even though he walked around completely shocked for 3 days, he came around after a while. Now with our oldest almost 9yo, he wouldn't change anything about our family.