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January 2013 Moms
Military Situation
So I'm trying to get opinions on what other ladies would do in my situation. I don't want any rude judgments, I am just looking for advise or someone who's in/had a similar situation.
My due date is Jan 5.
My husband is in the military and has been told he will deploy **EDITED BY A MOD for OPSEC**
I'm stuck wondering if I should induce my labor to make sure my husband will be there for the birth and spend at least a day. This is both of ours first child, and this is his first deployment. I hate that hes going to miss almost the entire first year of our baby's life, but for him to miss the birth too, we'd both be devastated.
I would never put my child in danger if he had health risks or go against my dr.
Which I talked to her about the situation today and since I live in a military town, its common and they said they would try their best to make sure my husband meets his son.
But since this is my first pregnancy, and I don't know too much, I want to know what everyone else thinks. I'd only want to be induced two weeks early which puts me at 38 weeks (still considered full term) That would give my husband at least a week with our baby.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Military Situation
My doctor wants to do a scheduled C at 37 weeks if my baby is breech because I have a weird uterus prone to late term conplications. If baby is head down they will just closely monitor, but if it's going to be a C section she wants it done early.
Due to my situation I've read a lot about 37-38 week babies, and while it is technically "full term" research has shown an increase in complications. If you are planning to medically induce with Pitocin before your body is ready, the chance of needing a C is going to be significantly higher as well. It's a tough decision to make, I hope somehow his deployment is delayed.
This article has links to studies so you can make an informed decision:
https://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/09/health/09brody.html
Most doctors won't due anything before 39 weeks because of so many malpractice suits for babys going into the NICU when they are induced/ scheduled sections before 39 weeks. If your baby measures healthy and your doctor is willing to do the induction early then I see no problem with it. My water broke at 37w5d with DS, and since I'm on medication that can make getting a spinal dangerous they are taking this one at 38w3d to make sure my water doesn't break again and allow my body time to get the medication out of my system.
I think they can do a test close to 37/38 weeks that check lung development which they may do with you to determine if you are able to be induced that early.
We are also a military family, nice to see other January mommies.
This definitely isn't the answer you are going to want to hear - but no I wouldn't induce. Full term is 40 weeks, those babies need to cook as long as possible (without complications/risks) to be healthy. There is no way I would induce 3 weeks prior to my due date with a singleton (I say this, because being pregnant with twins I could be induced at 37 weeks due to placenta complications).
Deployment dates change - it's July, there are still a good 4 months for that date to change to another date. Does it suck, royally! But thousands of women do it all the time. There is Facetime and Skype, and Video recording to improvise (I say video recording, because idk if he is Navy and I know my DH doesn't get Facetime and Skype).
So no - I absolutely would not risk my childs health by inducing him or her just so my husband would be there. And this is something we talked about during TTCing and DH is completely on board with that decision.
Edit - FYI to a PP not everyone recieves mid tour leave during deployment.
I agree with this. An induction that early, unless your body is showing signs of getting ready early, is probably going to end in a c-section anyway. I'd probably opt to skip several difficult hours of labor if that were the case.
When I was in a military situation, they were allowed to come back or stay behind if they were deploying or about to deploy if the wife went into labor. I think he should talk to his commander and see what the deal is.
Sorry you're going through that, it wasn't fun when I was going through it, so my heart goes out to you. I've been through 15 deployments with my ex husband and it sucked with every single one of them.
sadface
I would induce, if you have the option to make sure your DH gets to meet his son, why not?
My DS was due 12/27 and I was terrified of him being born on Christmas, since I was already 3 cm dilated my doctor gave me the choice of being induced, I was induced at 39 weeks on 12/20.
THIS! I can't stress this enough. My husband was originally told that he was going to deploy when I was 6 months pregnant with DD, he didn't end up leaving until DD was almost 1. Things do change in the Military.
That being said I wouldn't induce labor, I would want my child to spend a full 40 weeks in utero if possible. That being said DD came at 38 weeks and was just fine when she was born. She was ready to come though I went into labor naturally.
I wouldn't plan on inducing early or opting for a c-section if it's not medically necessary. I was induced at 38 weeks for pre-eclampsia, and DS was completely healthy, but small (5 lbs 9 oz). My aunt was induced at 38 weeks to fit her doctor's schedule, and the baby's lungs were nit fully developed and the baby died. Unusual, (and that was almost 40 years ago, so medical technology is way better) but if you don't know exactly when you conceived timing can be off and there can more complications. I just wouldn't want the increased risk. Not the answer you're looking for, but there is always a good chance you will go into labor before your due date.
I don't have any advice other than to talk it over with your doctor and do your research. I just wanted to hug you. My husband leaves TDY in November and won't be back until the baby is 4 mos old. He'll miss the birth since he'll be underwater and we can't Skype or call, and he won't actually meet the baby until two months or so after the baby is born and I'm cleared to fly out to where he'll be for a week. Then he won't be home again for another two months or so if all goes as planned.
I'm sorry you have to be in this situation. If you'd like to talk to someone going through the very same thing, I'd love to chat. Just PM me.
I would try induction and be prepared for a possible c-section. I was induced at 38 weeks with zero progress, baby sky high, and my labor was a peice of cake. 7 hours of labor, 3 pushes, and it was done. My OB thought I would end up with a c-section that day, so I'm really glad she gave induction a try.
You should bring this up to your dr. You can't guarantee that your duh will get a mid tour leave. If I were in your shoes and the dr said it was safe I would have LO early. We are military too and my duh will miss out on most of the first year too. DH really wants to meet LO before he leave.
Good luck,
My hubs is Active Duty as well (Navy), he made it pretty clear to me that every Commander he has ever worked with makes it their goal to allow the service member to be present for the birth of their child when at all possible. He said especially if you are due around a deployment, they will usually temporarily reassign the sailor in our case to a shore position until the baby is born, and then have them meet up in port when possible. He knew a few people this was done for. He said the most important part was open communication with the commander. If they don't know whats going on they can't work with you.