Moms with 2yr olds and pregnant

ANA6 · July 2012

Ok so lately since finding out I am pregnant, my 2yr old daughter has been doing the "Stop, drop and tantrum" , I am not sure where it originated from. I only saw it when I dropped her off at daycare and picking her up. But now I am seeing it in the Doctors office and where ever else. I'm in public and don't have a lot of options, Time out is a hard thing to do in public. Can someone give me some ideas please.

00jennifer00 · July 2012

I often end up carrying my toddlers out of the store like a sack of potatoes. It keeps them from kicking me (especially when the belly starts to get big), it keeps me from dropping them (I assure you that even though it looks precarious, it is the best way to get a secure grip on a writhing little stinker), and we get through whatever we need to get through without them taking off and getting hurt, or throwing themselves on the floor and getting hurt. My first was and is a super sweet laid back guy, but my second and third are those kids that people whisper about thinking the parents must never discipline, etc. We do! Boy, we do. They just are the way they are, and we will survive this. Something that I read in a book once a long time ago that has always helped me is that we were ALL toddlers once, and not one of us escaped childhood without at least one public meltdown, so if someone has a problem with it (usually old people who seem to think all their children were saints), I'll remind them that they were little once too, and probably threw a fit, and I HAVE to grocery shop (or whatever the errand is), so get over it. My motto is, don't let the kid win by leaving. Dh always wanted to leave, but when I explained to him that if I'm at the store with a mega full cart, I don't care if all 4 kids are screaming, I'm not leaving until I pay and load everything in the car because coming back some other time isn't an easy option when you have a life.

amykins1283 · July 2012

I pick him up and carry him, even if it's sideways or like a football or thrown over my shoulder. I don't deal with nonsense like that in public and I don't care if people stare.

Spacebunny19 · July 2012

My DH needs to be strapped DOWN like it's a freakin' rollercoaster every time we go to the store or she WILL get out/try to stand/climb out on me. I prefer Target shopping (well who doesn't love Target?) because they have these megacarts that have special seats for kids that have full on straps, adjustable, over the shoulder and between the legs. Can't escape, kiddo. That helps so much with the shopping.

Beyond that, if I am at a place where she can't be strapped down and is fussin' up a storm, and giving things to her doesn't pacify her (she likes holding things, anything from frozen peas to random stuff in the dollar bins), then yeah, carrying her out facing forward is sometimes all I can do if she's had enough and is melting down.

meggylake · July 2012

Oh yeah, I've been there! Have you read Love and Logic? It's a great book and it's been helpful for me in this stage with a 4yr old and a 2yr old. I think 2 yr olds are old enough to understand what you are saying. Before you go to the Dr or grocery store, firmly talking with them in the car in language they can understand about how they should act and their consequences if they throw a fit or whatever seems to work. You may have to follow through on your consequences a few times before they know you mean business. Also, giving a choice usually works. Like, when they are throwing a fit saying: "would you like to walk to the car, or be carried?" Mine always choose walking. It also helps to buy a few small toys at the $ store that are only saved for outings like the store and Dr's office. This keeps them a little more occupied because it's something new and exciting that they don't normally get to play with. Good luck and hang in there!!!

AmieVan · July 2012

I try to make sure it's no where close to nap time. And we spend a lot of time looking toward the ceiling for balloons (she has always loved balloons) I also keep goldfish with me at all times. If the full on tantrum does explode we leave calmly but immediately...often legs pointing away from me. I've definitely had little old ladies smile and hold the door for me saying "don't worry sweety you're doing a good job and this shall pass"

And truth be told....if its getting close to map time....I bribe her with going out to lunch with mommy. This kid of mine loves grilled cheese from panera and will work for it;)

Jasmine1082 · July 2012

My son is doing this too, so embarrassing! I'll have to try some of these tips.

doremi29 · August 2012

amykins1283:
I pick him up and carry him, even if it's sideways or like a football or thrown over my shoulder. I don't deal with nonsense like that in public and I don't care if people stare.

Yup. This.

ashmmill · August 2012

meggylake:
Oh yeah, I've been there! Have you read Love and Logic? It's a great book and it's been helpful for me in this stage with a 4yr old and a 2yr old. I think 2 yr olds are old enough to understand what you are saying. Before you go to the Dr or grocery store, firmly talking with them in the car in language they can understand about how they should act and their consequences if they throw a fit or whatever seems to work. You may have to follow through on your consequences a few times before they know you mean business. Also, giving a choice usually works. Like, when they are throwing a fit saying: "would you like to walk to the car, or be carried?" Mine always choose walking. It also helps to buy a few small toys at the $ store that are only saved for outings like the store and Dr's office. This keeps them a little more occupied because it's something new and exciting that they don't normally get to play with. Good luck and hang in there!!!

Another cheerleader for the "Do you want to walk or be carried?" My cousin told me about Love and Logic and the choices work like a charm. I also think consistency is key. Bad choices while out in public lead to time outs, loss of privileges or special treats, etc., good choices lead to a special treat after dinner, etc. My DD is to the point now where if she does something bad she automatically says, "I don't want a time-out!" because she knows it's coming.

rachelb823 · August 2012

She could have quite possibly picked it up in day care. We do timeouts everywhere. My 4 year old knows that we can always find a corner to put his nose in! We use a time out chair at home, but the nose in the corner, especially in public, is very effective. I know it may be embarrassing to you, but believe me other people will be glad you are correcting rather than choose to ignore. Being out and about is hard on little ones- the routine and comfort of home are out the window, and when they realize they might get away with stuff... yeah. Extra correction is needed.

Ndv523 · August 2012

My son is doing this as well. I'll be trying some of the tips posted on here too. Great to know we're not alone on this

laurenmichael725 · August 2012

Oh boy, I'm going through this too with my 19 month old! I've heard another good idea of bringing a travel time out chair with you (like a carpet square), so you can stay consistent with discipline and the kids don't think they can get away with murder while out in public. My problem is my daughter loves time outs! Lately she's been misbehaving (hitting) to get in her time out chair!

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